Title: Understandings and Happy Endings
Author: Jo. R
Rating: PG
Spoilers: General SG1 knowledge, 'Lifeline' for SGA.
Pairings: Implied John/Elizabeth and Sam/Jack.
Summary: Sam reflects during the final scene of 'Lifeline'.
"If there's a chance she's still alive, I'll
find her."
"I know."
The look on his face, the glint in his eyes... Sam
stifled a shiver and stared out across over the expanse of ocean. She
remembered seeing that look before, many a time.
Only then it'd been for her, and the eyes looking
back at her... She swallowed the lump that rose unexpectedly in her throat and
let the silence stretch on between them, surprised when the need to fill it
with meaningless small talk didn't arise as normal.
She wanted to go home, she realised suddenly. She
wanted to be back at the SGC, surrounded by familiar faces and people she
loved. She wanted to be able to pick up the phone and talk college and boys
with Cassie; she wanted to be able to head back to the house that was now theirs
and release her frustration on the as of yet unpainted walls to surprise him
when he came home.
She wanted to feel his arms around her, to know she
was safe and loved and that she'd never be in the position Sheppard was in now.
Never again, anyway.
So many times she'd thought hope was gone, so many
opportunities missed because of fear and doubt and damn regulations...
She had her chance of a happy ending and it broke
her heart to know someone else's had just been ripped away.
Sam surveyed the man standing beside her, watching
the unguarded emotions pass over his face under the light of the two moons. She
remembered the first time she'd lost Jack, the first time she'd realised the
feelings she felt for him were more than they should be - more, at the time,
than they could be.
Had Sheppard known before now how he felt for
Atlantis' missing leader? Had Elizabeth known...?
Studying him, she felt a familiar pang in her heart
when she realised the answer was no.
"I'm sure you'll find her," she found
herself saying, her voice quietly confident. She steeled herself when he turned
to face her, appearing startled to find she was still at his side. She waited
for a moment, unsure of whether he'd see the sincerity
in her face or get angry, believing her words to be an attempt at offering
false hope and comfort. She gave him a small smile when he remained silent,
lifting her shoulder in a half-shrug. "Don't give up on her. Wherever she
is, I'm sure she hasn't given up on you."
For a long, tense moment, they simply stared at one
another, trying to gauge the other's thoughts and feelings. Eventually, much to
her relief, Sheppard gave her a small nod before turning his attention back to
the glistening sea.
Certain she could be of no more use,
Sam turned and headed towards the doors. It was a cool night and she wanted it
to be over fast; she sooner she went to sleep in the temporary quarters she'd
been given, the sooner she and Dr. Lee could 'gate home to the SGC.
"Colonel Carter." His voice stopped her
and she half-turned, surprised to find him watching
her from the shadows. "How do you do it?" He asked, so quietly she
almost missed it over the sound of the waves lapping up against the city's
walls. "How do you keep going...?"
It was a difficult question, one she wasn't sure
she had the answer to. Sam let her eyes slide shut for the briefest of moments,
casting her mind back to the many close shaves and near losses of SG-1's years
in service. She remembered the despair and desperation, the fear and the pain
and the guilt...
Opening her eyes, she managed another smile, a sad
little smile that spoke volumes of the experience she'd had in this department.
"Have faith," she suggested softly.
"Never forget. Remind yourself of what you've lost and what you have to
gain and never give up on your happy ending."
A wordless nod was the only acknowledgement she
got. He turned away, back towards the ocean, and Sam continued on inside, the
warmth of the city greeting her the moment the doors slid shut.
She fervently hoped he would get his happy ending
and said a silent prayer of gratitude that she would soon be able to continue
towards her own.
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