Thinking of you II – Talk About Us

TITLE: Thinking of You II – Talk About Us

AUTHOR: Jo R.

EMAIL: Joey@Ram32.freeserve.co.uk

CATEGORY: S/J UST, SJR, sap intermingled with fluff.

CONTENT WARNINGS: S/J romance.

RATING: PG – PG-13, safe for the kids with some mild adult suggestion.

SEASON / SEQUEL: Set Season four, after BTS. Second in a trilogy.

SPOILERS: Various small ones for movie and all seasons.

SUMMARY: Follows ‘Thinking of You I – Could this be Love?’ Jack talks to Sam and they have to decide where to go now.

ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, SJA, and Shipperworld. Anywhere else, please ask first.

STATUS: Complete.

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission. Feedback and constructive criticism welcome. The song, ‘Talk About Us’, is taken from Jennifer Lopez’s album ‘On the 6’ and is written by Cory Rooney. No copyright infringement is meant.

AUTHOR’S NOTES: Second in the ‘Thinking of You’ Trilogy. I’ve been depressing myself with angst fic and needed something to cheer me up. Hence some sugary fluff that I know is *highly* unlikely to happen in the ‘real world’ but everyone’s entitled to escape reality for just a little while. Some people use long soaks in the bath, others use long walks in the country. I use writing fluff. Go figure.

DEDICATION: Again, to the Shipperworld and S/J chat room gang. I missed you when I was computer-less. Not a nice feeling so I’m hoping it won’t be like that again!

~*~

The drive was pretty uneventful. He was on automatic pilot, having memorised the journey to her apartment so long ago that he didn’t even need to think about what road to take or when to signal. He was there.

Colonel Jack O’Neill turned off the engine and sat there, staring up at her apartment. There was a light shining through one of the windows, which meant she was up. He stared at it for almost a full ten minutes. It was almost midnight. What was she doing up at this hour? His mind whirled and his hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white at the thought that she might not be alone. He might be too late.

‘ Relax’, he told himself. ‘ If Sam was seeing someone, you’d know. Through her or Janet or Daniel. You know they would have told you.’ Still, he didn’t move. He just sat in his car as the air around him cooled down, staring at the building, trying to work up the courage to get out and go up to see her.

~*~

Sitting at her computer, Major Samantha Cater sighed heavily and raised one hand to the nape of her neck, rubbing the tired muscles there. She knew she should probably leave writing her report till the morning, knowing it would be another two days at least before the Colonel asked her for it but she liked getting things done so they wouldn’t weigh on her mind when she was trying to sleep.

Stifling a yawn, Sam saved the document and closed the computer down. She stood and stretched. It was chance that she walked over to the window, stretching tense muscles as she did so. She recognised Jack’s car immediately, a small frown creasing her brow as she took note of the time. 11.57pm. Too late, or too early depending on how you looked at it, for a social call and if something was wrong, he would have called instead of taking the time to drive over. Sam shrugged and backed away from the window, not wanting him to see her. If he chose to forget about whatever it was he had come to say or do, she would feign ignorance in the morning to save them both any discomfort and humiliation.

She moved over to the couch and sat down, leaning her head against the back of it, closing her eyes as her mind wandered and opened the big file in her memory labelled O’Neill, Colonel Jack. She had every missions and every touch they had shared tucked safely away where she could access them easily and keep them close.

Things between them had been changing since the moment they had met each other and hadn’t stopped changing since. Even with the unpredictable nature of their lives, their relationship and its constant changes was one of the only things they could rely on to be in their lives. Or at least that’s what she liked to think in the moments she could convince herself in one of her optimistic, idealistic moods. She needed moments of idealism, especially in her line of work, especially when the job she loved denied her the chance of being with the man she loved.

Realistically, she knew that nothing was forever. She knew one or both of them could die on their next mission. And it was when she had those thoughts that she wished and prayed for the courage to throw regulations to the wind and be with him regardless. But she couldn’t do that. Her work was too important, although she didn’t flatter herself. The stargate program would continue well without her. Then again, too many people would be disappointed in her if she gave into her desires. Or maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe they would understand. That wasn’t a risk she was willing to take, yet, though. Not without something definite from Jack, not without some sign that he was willing to commit to them and make the same sacrifices so they could be together.

Sighing heavily to herself at the direction her thoughts had taken, Sam heaved herself up from the couch and walked over to her CD player, needing something, any distraction, to take her mind off the man who may still have been sitting in his car outside her apartment and off the temptation to go and see if he was there. Mind preoccupied, she set the player on random, not even caring to check which CD happened to be in it at the time.

The beginning of the song coincided with the soft knock on the door. Her heart leapt inside her, feeling a strange sense of anticipation as she knew who it was. She knew that knock and she knew he had decided to go through with whatever he had decided. Taking a deep breath and calming the nerves making her stomach churn, Sam chided herself for being so childish as she walked over to the door. ‘For crying out loud,’ she thought to herself, lending a phrase from the Colonel himself, ‘you’re acting more like a teenager with a crush. Remember you’re an Air Force Major!’

She opened the door with a small smile on her face, the butterflies in her stomach encouraged by the nervous smile she got in answer from Jack. “ Hi.. Sir,” she added as an afterthought, standing aside to let him enter the apartment.

Jack walked in, immediately feeling welcome, at home, at peace. He turned to her as she closed the door, about to speak when the vocals started and the song caught his attention.

*I saw you and fell in love

You saw me and fell in love too

You saw me; we fell in love

With each other last night*

He managed a small bashful grin as he felt a blush creeping up his neck to his face. Sam gave him a slightly questioning look but found herself strangely reluctant to speak, for fear of breaking the comfortable, surreal atmosphere that had enveloped them from the moment she opened the door.

Willing herself to get a grip, she walked over to the CD player and turned the music down, breaking the spell a little. “ Can I get you something to drink, Sir? There’s iced tea and I’m sure I could find a beer..” Her voice trailed off as Jack took a step closer and reached out for her hand. The look in his eyes almost said it all. Whatever he had come to say, he wasn’t leaving until he said it. Jack O’Neill had decided to bite the bullet and with him, once he had that determined look on his face, there was no backing down.

“ I need to talk to you, Sam,” he told her softly, his eyes showing the fear his expression carefully masked. “ Can we sit down for a minute?”

“ Sure,” she nodded and led him to where she had been sitting, thinking about him, just moments ago. She was expecting to be unnerved by how close he sat to her, but instead found the invasion of her personal space welcome and comfortable. “ Is there something wrong, Colonel?” Sam asked, careful to use his title to make sure she wasn’t assuming the urgency in his eyes had something to do with their personal situation. His answer assured her she hadn’t assumed wrong.

“ It’s Jack, Sam,” he answered in the same soft tone. In any other circumstances, she thought she might have teased him about the obvious nervousness he was feeling but as she was feeling the same way, she didn’t. “ And something is wrong. Or has been.” She encouraged him to continue with the slight tilt of her head to show she was listening, staying silent to give him all the time he needed. “ For the most of tonight, I’ve been thinking. Oh, don’t look surprised, I do think sometimes, you know.” His teasing had the desired effect of making her smile and lightening some of the tension that was thick in the air between them. As he continued speaking, his hand sought hers, their fingers entwining instinctively as he found it. “ I thought about all of us, how we’ve changed so much during the last four years. And how much we’ve lost.” He paused for a split-second, to gaze into her eyes, searching for something. When he apparently found the reassurance he needed to go on, he continued again. “ I realised there’s one thing that hasn’t really changed. Well, it’s changed, but it’s only grown instead of fading. My feelings.. for you.. It’s more than just physical attraction, Sam. God knows that’s part of it but it’s so much more than that now.” It was getting hard to keep eye contact with her but he forced himself to keep his gaze on her face, anticipating any sign of rejection or discomfort, or hopefully a sign what he was saying, what he was feeling, was reciprocated. “ I don’t want to risk losing this, Sam. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t take the chance that someone better is gonna come along and take you away from me. I can’t keep pretending I don’t care for you when I do and I can’t bear the thought of letting this slip by us and regretting it someday.”

“ What.. What are you saying, Jack?” It took two attempts at getting her voice to work and when she finally did, it sounded shaky even to her own ears. Sam searched his eyes as he had searched hers, wondering if this was really happening or if she’d fallen asleep on her couch and was dreaming the whole thing. Everything he had said, everything he was saying, she had heard before, countless times, but before they had only existed in her dreams.

He edged closer, staring intently into her eyes, letting her see he was entirely sincere, putting on display everything he was feeling, an action she knew took a lot from him. If there was one thing Jack hated, it was being vulnerable. But here he was, baring his soul before her, giving her the power to crush all his hopes and dreams. “ I’m saying I love you, Sam. And I don’t want to wait any longer to be with you.”

The temptation to agree was strong, the desire building up within her and coursing through her veins battling with her sensibility. “ Jack..” She breathed his name, allowing her eyes to slide shut against the raw emotion and hope in his face. “ I love you, too.. and as much as I want to be with you.. What about regulations? You know as well as I do they’re not going to just go away.. They’ll still be there in the morning.”

“ I know they will,” he responded in a surprisingly calm voice, forcing gently to open her eyes again. “ I’m not asking you to pretend they don’t exist. I know how I.. how we feel is wrong in the eyes of the military but it has to be right, Sam. Feeling like this.. It can’t be wrong.” He took a deep breath and looked away for the first time since beginning. “ I don’t want a one night fling. I want us to be together, for as long as we can be, and I’m prepared to accept whatever has to be so that can happen. I’ll resign if I have to.” Jack brought his eyes back to hers as he sensed her tense up at the suggestion. He had to grin a little at the ‘Not gonna happen’ look on her face. “ As long as I have you, nothing else matters. I’ll miss it like crazy but I’ll cope if I still have you. I’ll cope better without the military than I ever could without you. I don’t know when it happened, but sometime in the last year, my reason for fighting changed, Sam. My goal was still to defeat the Goa’uld and save the world and all of that but it’s taken second place. I was only fighting so we could be together, so there was a world for us to live in and have a family.. I realised tonight that if I wait any longer, the chance to make that dream a reality might be taken from me if I wait. I don’t want to wait, Sam.” He looked at her for a long moment, seeing the glean of tears sparkle in her blue eyes.” I’ll go if you tell me. I’ll wait as long as you want me to. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“ You won’t,” she assured him with a watery smile. “ And you don’t have to wait any longer, Jack.”

“ I don’t?” The genuine surprise on his face made her giggle, she couldn’t help it. He looked comically shocked, adorably so. She leaned in and brushed her lips against his in a quick but gentle kiss, pulling away to find he looked even more startled, making her giggles turn into laughter. “ Hey!”

“ Sorry, Jack,” she murmured with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, not looking at all sorry. She didn’t even notice she’d called him Jack, the name feeling natural coming from her lips even after years of addressing him as ‘Sir’ or ‘Colonel’. “ But you looked so cute..”

“ I do not look cute!” He objected obstinately, pouting slightly, which only encouraged her mirth, putting an end to the sombre side of the situation. In their hearts and minds, the difficult part had passed for the time being. It was time for some fun before getting serious again.

Wanting revenge, he grabbed her by the waist and began his assault, tickling her with the intension of keeping it up until she pleaded with him to stop. It didn’t happen that way. Their faces got too close and after a long stare full of mutual longing and love, they gave in and finally crossed the line, sealing their decision with a long, soul-searching kiss. It wasn’t long before the fun and games were forgotten, and they retired to Sam’s bedroom to spend the night in one another’s arms, fulfilling dreams and creating precious memories.

*I saw you and fell in love

You saw me and fell in love too

You saw me; we fell in love

With each other last night

I told you I was concerned

You told me of your concerns, too

Yet and still we both decided

To make love last night

Baby, please tell me

Where do we go from here my love

What are we doing baby

Boy you gotta let me know

Why can't we live the way we want

I want the world to know

I just gotta let it show

What do we stand to lose

If being together

Is what we choose

Oh my love

I think we should talk about us

Could this be a crazy dream

And if so then you’re dreaming too

'Cause I know for sure that

You feel the same as I do

Could it be that we could be wrong

Even though we're feeling so right

I don't care because I know

That I want you tonight

And I know you want me too

Where do we go from here my love

What are we doing baby

Boy you gotta let me know

Why can't we live the way we want

I want the world to know

I just gotta let it show

What do we stand to lose

If being together

Is what we choose

Oh my love

I think we should talk about us

You see all me life I've waited

Waited all my life

Just to be with someone like you

Where do we go from here my love

What are we doing baby

Boy you gotta let me know

Why can't we live the way we want

I want the world to know

I just gotta let it show

What do we stand to lose

If being together

Is what we choose

Oh my love

I think we should talk about us*

The End. Thanks for reading!

Feedback is so much more than welcome J

Continued in Thinking About You III – Promise Me You’ll Try

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