Reflective Fate II - Reunion of Fate

TITLE: Reflective Fate II: Reunion of Fate

AUTHOR: Jo R.

EMAIL: Joey@Ram32.freeserve.co.uk

CATEGORY: S/J UST, S/J romance, angst, drama, romance and *mention* of character death (but no actual death in this one!).

CONTENT WARNINGS: Sam and Jack.

RATING: PG-15/M.

SEASON / SEQUEL: The sequel of ‘Division of Fate.’ Set in mid-season four. Part of the ‘Reflective Fate’ series.

SPOILERS: Various for all episodes from Season One to current, past Tangent.

SUMMARY: When two fates collide..

ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, SJA, and Shipperworld. Anywhere else, please ask first.

STATUS: Complete.

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission. Feedback and constructive criticism most welcome, flames are not.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Can be read as a standalone, but is the sequel to ‘Division of Fate’ so you might want to read that one first. There’s been a lot of confusion over the spelling of Za’Tarks so I went with the one my spellchecker somehow recognises. In the words of LM: “Who gives a flying Marty? Sam and Jack love each other!” or something to that effect. Also, this sequel may seem rushed to some.. but it’s the best I could manage today. Forgive any mistakes, they’re all my fault.

AN.2: The scientific stuff about a vaccine etc. may or may not be viable. I tried to make it as realistic as possible but I don’t really have a sound medial background so don’t trust me, k?

DEDICATION: This series is a thank-you (and temporarily goodbye – fic-wise) to the following people – LM, Peps, Tanja, Helena, Katt, Lynn, Ruth, Cat-twin, Rotem, Linz, Kelly, Ali, Effy, Jay, Flo, Traci, Lucy, Pin, Puk, Jez, Madi, Lady, Wiwi, Sally, Helen, Deb, Jo, Bee, Lynn, Sandy, Lady and those from the SJ chat room, SJ list and Shipperworld list. It’s been great meeting and knowing you all. Special thanks go to LM for being, well, just the lovely (sometimes evil but always lovely *g*) LM in general.

~*~

Part One

~*~

In the bowels of Cheyenne Mountain, a top-secret military operation was under-go. The Stargate program wasn’t as active as usual, partly because it was the middle of the night and partly because most of the SG-teams were currently off world.

SG-1, minus Samantha Carter, were playing poker in one of the common rooms, waiting for her return. She had been sent on a mission with SG-4, to offer assistance with some scientific analysis that needed to be done. It wasn’t necessary for her team mates to ‘wait up’ for her like over-anxious parents, but each of the three men felt protective of her in their own way and would all feel better knowing she was safe and sound on the same planet as they were before retiring to their respective homes.

Several floors beneath the, in a dark storeroom, an alien object flickered. It’s once dormant surface came to life in the form of a reflective liquid. A few seconds later, a young boy stepped cautiously through.

Tears ran freely down his cheeks as he looked back into the mirror, failing to see what he wanted, what he had left behind. The mirror closed down, startling him slightly, making him step forward into the invisible security beam.

Instantly, alarms went off and red lights flashed. Biting his lip, Charlie O’Neill inhaled shakily as armed security officers surrounded him. There was very little he could do but pray as his arrival woke the entire base.

~*~

It was an unusually quiet evening shift. Doctor Janet Fraiser sat in her office catching up on some long over-due reading sent by former colleagues in the medical profession. She jumped involuntarily when the warning klaxons blared, signalling a breach of security somewhere on base.

Sighing heavily to herself, she got up and left the confines of her office, and went through to the main section of the infirmary to wait. She knew it was only a matter of time before someone reported to her, whether related to the alarms or not. As it happened, she wasn’t kept waiting for long. Her eyes widened when her new patient came in, awkwardly assisted by an uncomfortable looking Airman.

“ Go and find Colonel O’Neill and General Hammond,” Janet ordered. The officer nodded and left, leaving her to deal with her patient, who was staring at his shoes and obviously trying not to cry. She reached a hand out to him and smiled warmly. “ Hi there, you don’t have to be afraid. I won’t hurt you. My name is..”

“ Janet. Doctor Fraiser, I know,” Charlie finished with a watery smile. He took her offered hand but still kept his distance.

“ And you are?” She had her suspicions but she needed to be sure. If he wasn’t who she thought he was, then the resemblance was remarkable.

“ Charlie O’Neill,” he answered shyly. “ They sent me through the mirror, Mommy and Daddy, when they got sick. Everyone got sick but me.” Tears welled up in his eyes and Janet felt her heart break as she swallowed the lump in her own throat.

“ Well, we’ll check you out anyway, okay? If you just come and sit on the bed, it’ll only take a few minutes.” She led him over to one of the beds and helped him sit up on it.

The next five or ten minutes passed by in a blur for Charlie, who sat silently through Janet’s administrations as he grieved for his parents, friends and family, all of whom he knew were surely dead by now.

When Colonel Jack O’Neill and General George Hammond arrived in the infirmary, Janet’s tests were over and the results were sent for. The young boy sunk into himself, lying down and curling up tightly, staring blankly at the wall as tears ran down his cheeks. Janet’s own sympathy pain grew, especially when she saw the look of astonished pain on Jack’s face before he hid it.

“ General, Colonel,” she greeted them quietly, nodding at Teal’c and Daniel who appeared in the doorway behind them. She motioned for them to follow her into her office, shutting the door almost completely before speaking again. “ Sirs, I assume you know he came from the Quantum mirror, that he’s from an alternate reality?” At their nods, she continued. “ So you understand that that is Charlie O’Neill, in every way possible. The only difference is he’s somehow younger than his alternate self in this reality would be. I don’t know how that is, that’s more Major Carter’s field than mine.”

“ What’s wrong with him?” Jack demanded, watching over the child – his son – through the observation window.

“ The test results haven’t had time to come back yet but as far as I can tell, nothing is wrong with him. From what little he’s said since coming here though, it appears everyone from his reality got ill except him, which is why they sent him though,” Janet explained softly. “ As far as I can tell, he’s still uninfected with whatever the illness was, but I’d like to keep him in the infirmary for the next forty-eight hours at least to make sure, with a limited number of visitors. Just in case.”

“ Understood,” General Hammond nodded. “ Can we assume everyone in his universe is.. dead?”

“ I couldn’t say for sure, you’d have to ask him or send a team through,” Janet replied, staring evenly at her superior officer. “ But from the way he’s acting, it doesn’t seem good.”

“ Permission to take a team through the mirror, Sir?” Jack asked suddenly. At the surprised look on his superior’s face, he sighed. “ There may be more survivors. If we use the biohazard suits, we should be fine. Maybe we could bring a sample of whatever it was back so Doctor Fraiser can find out what it is and stop this from happening again.”

“ I’ll consider it, Colonel,” General Hammond stifled a sigh of his own. “ I’d like to wait till Major Carter returns before deciding anything.”

“ Wasn’t the mirror supposed to be destroyed?” Daniel asked, speaking up suddenly. The General shot him a dark look and Jack’s expression clearly said ‘You don’t want to know’ so he dropped the subject quickly, changing it. “ Um.. Sam should be here..” Daniel was cut off by the alarms going off again.

“ Authorized gate activation,” a technician announced over the intercom, closely followed by: “ Medical team to the embarkation room, medical team to the embarkation room.”

“.. Anytime now,” he finished with a grim expression. “ We’ll go see what’s happening.” Daniel and Teal’c left the office immediately. Janet and General Hammond watched as Jack looked torn, torn between his son and his second-in-command and friend.

In the end, the General took pity on him and made the decision for him. “ Colonel, perhaps you should try and talk to the boy, try and determine the risk of going back through.”

“ Yes, sir,” Jack nodded and left the office, with Janet following behind to prepare for whomever was injured this time. General Hammond watched his second-in-command cautiously approached the bed, looking uncomfortable before leaving for his own office to find out what was going on.

~*~

Cautiously, Jack approached the bed. He reached out as if to touch his son but pulled his hand back quickly, afraid that if he did, this Charlie would disappear like his had.

“ Charlie?” His voice sounded rough even to his own ears. “ I.. I’m not even going to pretend to know what you’re going through..”

The young boy remained silent and for a minute, Jack thought about leaving and trying again later. All such thoughts vanished when the boy who was his son but who was also a stranger turned to face him, a pained but pleading expression on his young face. “ I know you’re not my Daddy.. but in a way you are.. I.. Can..?”

His distress became apparent and Jack quickly crossed the space between them in two long strides. He sat on the bed and took Charlie into his arms, holding him and rocking him soothingly. “ I’ve got you, Charlie. You’re safe now.”

“ Can I stay here?” Charlie sobbed uncontrollably. “ With you?”

Jack closed his eyes as he nodded, hoping against hope he wasn’t about to make an empty promise he couldn’t keep. “ I’ll do whatever I can to keep you here, I promise,” he murmured reassuringly. “ Now try and get some sleep.”

Charlie nodded against him and the two shifted positions. Charlie lay down and Jack sat in the chair between his bed and the empty one. Their hands were clasped tightly, both of them clinging to loved ones they thought they’d lost.

~*~

The embarkation room was buzzing with activity when Daniel and Teal’c arrived. They got there in time to see Lieutenant Thomas being carefully loaded onto a gurney and wheeled away. The two concerned men searched the sea of faces for their team mate, the concern increasing at the sight of a weary Samantha Carter being supported by two other Airmen. She had a deep gash on her forehead and her uniform was torn.

Immediately, Daniel was at her side, Teal’c hot on his heels. They quickly took the place of the other two men, noticing Sam looked a little shaken and battered.

“ Sam? What happened?” Daniel asked as they supported her, walking with her down the ramp, alarm written on his face.

She shook her head gingerly at his worry, rewarding her team mates with a warm, reassuring smile. “ I’m fine, guys, *really*. Thomas is the one who’s hurt.”

“ Get yourself to the infirmary anyway, Major,” General Hammond ordered from his spot talking to the commanding officer of SG-4.

“ Yes, Sir,” Sam nodded, stifling the urge to roll her eyes and let her team mates lead her towards the elevators.

“ You have not explained how you came to be injured, Major Carter,” Teal’c reminded her as they stepped into the elevator.

“ Lt. Thomas fell, I went after him,” Sam shrugged, quickly hiding a grimace of pain at the action. “ What are you guys doing here, anyway?”

“ Waiting for you,” Daniel answered sheepishly. “ Jack said it was what he was gonna do so we tagged along. Thought it was a good idea.”

“ Where is the Colonel?” She asked, touched that her friends had stayed – and that it had been Jack’s idea – but she instinctively was aware something must have happened to occupy the Colonel otherwise he’d have met her on arrival.

By the time the elevator reached the right floor, Sam had been updated on the situation. Her heart went out to her Colonel as she tried to imagine what he must be going through, confronted with the son he thought was lost to him forever.

“ Maybe we should give them some time alone,” Sam protested as they ‘escorted’ her to the infirmary. “ I’m fine, really.”

“ I’ll be the judge of that,” Janet spoke up from her place in the infirmary doorway, having been expecting her friend after being foretold by the Airmen who had brought Lieutenant Thomas to the infirmary.

“ How is Lt. Thomas?” Sam asked, slowing her pace even more as they reached the infirmary but being pushed further by Teal’c and Daniel none-too-subtly.

“ He’s in surgery with Dr. Warner, he’s going to be fine,” Janet reassured her friend, leading her into the infirmary. Jack stood on seeing her battered-looking state and Charlie looked a little distressed. “ And before you say it, you might think you’re fine but it’s my job to determine whether you are or not. So no, you can’t just take some painkillers and go about business as usual.”

Sam rolled her eyes, wincing ever so slightly as she got up on the bed and Janet brandished a needle. “ You have a really bad mean streak, Janet. Anyone ever tell you that? And that obsession you have with needles is really not natural.”

Both Jack and Charlie grinned at the expression on Sam’s face, relieved to find her in good spirits despite her dishevelled appearance. Janet drew the curtain around Sam’s bed so she had some privacy but at every sharp intake of breath, her friends winced. As if she knew this, Sam tried to hold it in as best as she could as Janet poked and prodded places that didn’t want to be poked and prodded.

“ Okay, where do you want the needle this time?” Janet asked too brightly once she was satisfied she’d done enough tests.

“ You’re giving me the option?” Sam eyed her friend warily. “ Unusual but after what you just put me through, I think I’m entitled to go for the arm.”

“ Thought you’d say that,” Janet smirked. She went ahead with the injection and was soon pulling the curtain back, much her team mate’s relief.

“ So what’s the damage, Doc?” Jack asked, trying to sound casual as he saw the bruises already begin to surface on Sam’s face and arms. He had to make an extra special effort to tear his gaze from Sam to look at Janet, something that didn’t go unnoticed by most of the room’s occupants.

The few people present in the room were the only ones who knew, albeit unofficially, what had gone on a few months earlier. Sam and Jack had been suspected as being Za'Tarks, programmed by the Goa’uld to act as assassins. It turned out that they weren’t, but in the testing process, they had admitted to having strong feelings for the other, stronger than they were supposed to given their Commanding Officer/Second-in-Command relationship.

The changes in their relationship had been quite subtle, only a few people actually noticed them, all of whom fortunately chose to turn a blind eye, General’s Hammond and Carter included. The two officers were trying not to let it affect them, but it was proving very difficult, especially for Jack.

Once he had got over the shock revelation that his feelings weren’t as unrequited as he’d thought, he found it even harder not to act on those feelings, regulations be damned. He knew how fleeting life could be and wasn’t sure if he could keep working with Sam, sending her into dangerous situations, knowing that if something were to happen to either one of them, they’d never have the chance to be together.

Sam, however, knew exactly what he was thinking and was trying to put some distance between them, as much as it hurt her. She wouldn’t have him ruining his career over her, the SGC needed him too much and so did she, as her commanding officer and as a friend, someone to watch her back just as she watched his on missions. If they acted on the attraction and feelings, she knew her spotless record would be tarnished and her future with the Air Force would be even more difficult, but Jack’s career would be over. It was hard, though. There had already been a few close calls, one being when they forgot who they were whilst on another planet but they were still drawn towards each other, another being when Jack had almost died once again after a trip in a death-glider had gone wrong.

“ Asides from the bruising to her ribs, the cut on her forehead and the rope burns to her palms, Sam’s fine. She’ll live,” Janet answered, pausing to throw a look in her friend’s direction. “ She also has a mild concussion so I’m keeping her in tonight. And your blood pressure’s high again, Sam. And you haven’t been sleeping or eating as much as you should. I might keep you in for a little longer, just to make sure.”

“ Janet..” Sam started to protest but stopped when the doctor faced her with a determined glare. Sam heaved a sigh and pouted. “ You deserve every bit of the reputation you have.”

“ But you love me anyway,” Janet smiled sweetly. “ Daniel, Teal’c, could one or both of you go to Sam’s quarters and get her something to sleep in? And if I keep her in past tonight, someone’s going need to go to her apartment and get her some clothes.”

“ We’ll do it,” Daniel grinned in relief that Sam was okay. “ Anything in particular you want us to bring you, Sam?”

“ I’d say my laptop,” Sam answered slowly. “ But then Janet would threaten you with her needles if you brought it so.. No, nothing in particular.” She smiled at Teal’c and Daniel as they started to leave. “ Thanks, guys.”

“ You are welcome, Major Carter,” Teal’c bowed slightly and followed Daniel out. Janet was called from the infirmary to her office, leaving Sam alone with Jack and Charlie. Jack sat down on the chair between the two, uncertain as to which one he should talk to, if any. He looked at his son to find Charlie already sound asleep, surprising him as earlier, it seemed Charlie wasn’t going to be able to get any rest. He turned his attention to Sam, only to find her gazing at him in concern. She looked away when he turned to face her but wasn’t quick enough to avoid detection.

There was an awkward silence before Jack sighed and gave in to one of the many things that tempted him whenever he was around her, taking her hand in his own as he spoke. “ You scared me when I saw you being brought in here. You’re not allowed to do that again, okay?” He scolded her gently. “ I think I’m gonna have to stop lending my team members out.”

Sam gave him a softly curved smile. “ Sorry, for scaring you.”

“ So what happened? Lieutenant Thomas looked pretty bad,” he tilted his head to one side enquiringly. “ I know, I know. I could read it in your report but I’m impatient. Humour me?”

“ There’s not much to tell. Thomas fell down a small cliff when the ground gave way and I volunteered to get him. As I was climbing down, some loose rock came away and hit me.”

“ But you still went all the way down for Thomas anyway,” Jack finished knowingly. “ You gotta take better care of yourself, Major. That’s an order.”

She saluted him with another smile, one that faded as her gaze lingered on the sleeping child. “ How are you? How’s.. How’s Charlie?”

“ Dealing, we’re dealing with it,” he gave her a one shoulder shrug. “ I’m trying not to get too attached in case he has to go back..”

“ Is that possible? To stay unattached when he’s your son?” She bit her lip. “ You don’t have to tell me but.. I’m here if you want to talk to someone about it.”

He gave her a small grin. “ I know, thanks.” He looked over at Charlie and took a deep breath. “ It’s.. difficult. He’s younger than he should be. He’s about the age.. about the age my Charlie was when he died.” Sam squeezed his hand comfortingly so he continued. “ Is it possible? I mean, did you know it was possible to have a couple of years difference between alternate realities?”

“ Well.. All our knowledge on alternate realities is based on the theory that for every decision we make, there’s an alternate reality in which we chose differently. It’s highly possible in this Charlie’s reality he was born at a later date. Maybe his parents decided to wait a bit longer to have children, I can’t be certain.” She blushed when she realised she’d been ‘prattling’. “ Sorry. In answer to your question, yeah - anything is possible.”

Janet appeared in the doorway and cleared her throat before Jack could respond. “ I told you to get some rest, Sam.” Sam had the grace to look apologetic and meek as her friend stared at her. “ Colonel, if you’re going to insist on keeping my patient awake, I’m going to have to insist you leave my infirmary.”

“ Aw, come on. I promise to let her get some sleep,” Jack protested with a charming grin and puppy-dog eyes in the Doctor’s direction.

Janet smiled briefly, rolling her eyes in defeat. “ Fine. Anyway, I thought you would be interested to know, all test results have come back on Charlie.”

“ He’s okay, right?” Jack asked anxiously. Sam gave his fingers a reassuring squeeze as they waited for Janet’s response.

“ He’s fine, Colonel,” Janet answered with a nod. “ Although we did find traces of an unknown virus-strand in his blood. Luckily, it seems Charlie somehow has the anti-bodies in his blood.”

“ Can you make a vaccine from that?” Jack asked hopefully. Janet nodded in the affirmative.

Sam, who’d been listening, frowned. “ If they had the anti-bodies in Charlie and you can make a vaccine.. Why couldn’t they?”

“ It takes quite a bit of time to separate the anti-bodies and then create the vaccine using them. From what we understood, people were infected en masse and the virus spread and attacked their bodies very, very quickly. I think they would have been too busy trying to find out who was infected and who wasn’t,” Janet explained softly, seeing a wave of sadness wash over her friend’s face. “ The good news is that by the time you’ve gone through the mirror and come back, the vaccine should be done. So if you find any survivors who aren’t already showing signs of the virus, we can give their immune systems a boost, just to be on the safe side.”

A small silence followed as the news was slowly digested, a silence broken by Sam’s determined voice. “ I want to go through the mirror with SG-1.”

“ I don’t think so, Major,” Jack replied firmly, shaking his head. “ You’re under Doc’s care for a while and we’re going through tomorrow. There’s no way you’ll be able to go through, too.”

“ Janet, please,” Sam looked to her friend pleadingly. “ If I promise to get some sleep and report to the infirmary the moment I get back, can I go?”

Opening her mouth to answer, Janet hesitated and closed it. She looked from Sam’s hopeful expression to Jack’s determined look and sighed to herself. She either took Jack’s side and had Sam be mad at her or she took Sam’s side and had Jack angry with her. Looking between the two, she saw what they didn’t – they were trying to protect each other, one wanting to go and give him her silent support, the other wanting to keep her safe. She narrowed her brown eyes as she thought about it, and decided letting Sam go would give her an excuse to keep her friend in for longer when she got back, which hopefully would result in Sam getting some much needed sleep and TLC. “ I think.. If Sam promises to sleep in the infirmary for as many days as I see fit on her return through the mirror, I’ll give her my clearance to leave.”

“ I promise,” Sam cut in with a dazzling smile before Jack could protest. She turned her smile on her CO and he sighed in defeat, rolling his eyes at his own weakness.

“ Fine.” He sighed again. “ Fine, I’ll get Hammond’s clearance, we’ll go through tomorrow and then you’re at Doc. Fraiser’s mercy.”

Sam’s triumphant grin stayed on her lips long after she fell asleep, reminding Jack how easily he had given in. <You’re getting soft in your old age,> a voice from deep inside seemed to tell him condescendingly. He silenced it by tearing his eyes away from Sam and looking at Charlie, at his son, and wondering how long he would have the chance to get to know the boy before he was taken away. He wanted to be optimistic and try to believe his son would be able to stay with him but years of disappointment and being denied what he wished for were working against him.

With a heavy sigh, Jack settled in his chair between two of the people he cared for above all else and slowly let slumber take him over.

~*~

The next day approached before Jack was ready to face it. He still wasn’t happy with Sam going through the quantum mirror. He returned to the infirmary from General Hammond’s office, still trying to come up with an excuse for her to stay behind, only to find the woman in question and his son sitting on her bed, talking in low voices, reading from a book someone had brought in for Charlie once news had spread. For a few moments, he stood in the doorway watching them together, enjoying seeing them smile and get along so well. <She has a knack with kids,> he thought to himself. <They always seem to open up to her. She’d make a great mother..>

He was abruptly startled form his thoughts when he realised what he had been just about to admit to himself. By the fact he had been about to let his mind wander on duty and think about Sam as a woman, instead of his 2IC, wishing and wondering what it would be like raising Charlie, and a family, with her. Unfortunately for him, Sam chose that moment to look up and caught him in mid-recovery.

“ Good morning, Sir,” she smiled warmly at him and jumped down from the bed energetically although he imaged adrenaline played a big part in her enthusiasm. Charlie laughed, finding something funny but Jack wasn’t sure what.

“ Morning, Carter,” Jack greeted her with a small grin and nod. He walked over to Charlie and ruffled his son’s hair, feeling a little uncomfortable with the boy’s presence but not as much as he had done when he had first arrived. “ Mornin’ Charlie. Did ya sleep well?”

Charlie nodded, some of the sadness leaving his eyes as he gazed at Sam and Jack, two people who he knew to be his parents. He had spent the night dreaming of his parents and of their life together. When he woke, he found he wasn’t alone. Sam, who he had ‘adopted’ as his mother years before, was sleeping in a bed not too far away from him and the man, who was by almost all rights his father, sleeping in a chair beside her. It eased his pain, but didn’t erase it, to know he wasn’t going to suddenly find himself abandoned. He knew these people, knew they would care for him and protect him. In time, he thought they could love him as his parents did, as he already had grown to love them. With them in his life, no matter whether they were technically *his* parents or not, he knew he was safe. “ I slept well..” Charlie frowned slightly, not knowing what to call the Colonel, his father. He tilted his head to one side, a curious expression arranging his features. “ What do I call you?”

Jack shot an uncomfortable look at Sam, his eyes pleading with her to stay even as she backed towards the door. His expression stopped her in her tracks, and he was able to relax a little as he turned back to his son. “ Charlie.. You can call me whatever you feel comfortable calling me. You can call me Jack, Colonel or Dad, if you want.”

“ Really?” Charlie’s eyes lit up, and Sam smiled at him, so Jack knew he had said the right thing.

<First time for everything, I suppose,> he thought to himself. “ Really.” He confirmed with a grin, barely having time to steel himself for Charlie bounding into his arms, the force in which the young boy hit him almost causing him to loose his balance. Jack hugged his son as tight as he dared, watching Sam out of the corner of his eye. Was it his imagination or did his second-in-command wipe at her eye?

He didn’t get the chance to take another look to confirm his suspicions as Sam made a swift exit from the infirmary. Jack looked up to see her leave and looked down in time to see an expression he couldn’t identify on his son’s face, an expression Charlie tried to hide by burying his head in Jack’s – his father’s – chest.

~*~

Part Two.

~*~

Sam walked a small distance from the infirmary and stopped, leaning against a wall, allowing her eyes to slide shut as she momentarily forgot where she was. The din of the base slowly faded into the distance, her mind centred on the scene she had just left behind.

The expression on Jack’s face – the alarm, replaced by the relief and then the tenderness as he held his son.. She was sure she would never forget it. And the moment was going to be burned into her memory. Such a sweet, tender embrace between father and son. A moment in the life of a regular family. A family she was surprised to want to be a part of. Well, not surprised, given the state of her relationship with Jack, and the state of her feelings for him. What surprised her was how intense the feelings and longing had been when she was in that room, the desire for wanting to be a part of what they had almost over-whelming.

Her career had always come first with her. Dating and family had come second. But she could hear her biological clock ticking as she stood there, remembering. There were moments, when she was alone in the solitude of her apartment or in her lab, late a night, when all the other teams were off-world, on downtime or in their quarters, when the base was operated with the skeleton crew. In those moments, she would allow herself to think of what might have been, and what might be passing her by.

“ Hey, Sam,” Daniel’s enthusiastic greeting brought her back to the present, away from her thoughts and dreams. “ Nice to see you out of the infirmary. I heard you’d badgered Jack into letting you come with us. I’m glad, it’s going to be strange, isn’t it? Do you think we’ll see ourselves? I mean, will our alternates..” The archaeologist’s voice trailed off as he noticed the vacant look on her face. “ Sam? You okay?”

“ Oh.” Sam snapped out of her jumbled thoughts when she realised he had stopped talking and was waiting for her to say something. Mentally, she replayed the last part of the conversation in her mind, searching for the last question he asked. “ I’m okay, Daniel, yeah,” she answered finally with a quick smile. “ I was just giving the Colonel and Charlie a moment alone.”

“ Ah.” Daniel nodded understandably but didn’t look convinced that that was all. “ Is that the only reason you’re out here looking like you wish the wall would open up and swallow you whole?”

She forced a short laugh. “ I don’t want the wall to open up, Daniel. I’m just a little anxious to get going. That kid is here because everyone he cares about was exposed to some virus. They’re probably all dead. What if we bring it back here and leave him on his own again?”

Her friend smiled reassuringly and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. “ We won’t, Sam. He’s going to be okay here. Jack’s going to take care of him and we’ll all be here to help.” He looked at her questioningly. “ Won’t we?”

“ Sure.” Sam smiled weakly, lowering her gaze. She couldn’t stifle a sigh as she walked away, though, mumbling under her breath. “ But will he want us there if he gets his family back?”

There was a troubled look in Daniel’s eyes as he followed his friend, though the archaeologist himself wasn’t sure if it was because of Sam’s comment, or because her words struck a cord within him. He had heard little from Jack about his son, since the topic was a very painful subject Jack held close to his heart unless he’d had the assistance of quite a few beers and shots of whiskey but what he knew worried him. Jack had always wanted a second chance, a chance to make it up to his son and do things right. Would he quit the SGC to do so? And if he got a second chance with his ex-wife, would he take it? Even knowing what it would do to Sam?

~*~

An hour later, fears were put aside as SG-1 plus SG-units 2 and 3 geared up in hazard suits and embarked on their mission through the Quantum mirror. No one was certain of what they would find waiting for them on the other side, and even if they had known, they wouldn’t have been able to prepare themselves.

On stepping through, the first things they encountered were themselves. Sam and Daniel’s flashlights sliced through the darkness, their gasps of surprise echoing in their protective suits as they stared at their own inanimate faces. Teal’c moved to Daniel’s side to see what the problem was, and his mask of impartiality slipped a little on seeing himself and his friend from his reality. Unmoving, dead.

SG-2 and SG-3 left the room to explore the rest of the base as Jack up beside Sam and stopped in his tracks. Not only was he confronted with a vision of his death, he was confronted with a vision of himself holding the alternate Samantha Carter in his arms. <Maybe that should be O’Neill,> he corrected mentally, casting a wary gaze over the couple locked in an embrace that implied intimacy, and, of course, the matching bands of gold gave the status of their relationship away. What scared him the most wasn’t the implication of yet another reality where their being together ended in death and destruction, nor was it the sight of his own face on someone else’s body. It was the image of this Sam, the alternate one.

They had encountered an alternate Doctor Carter before, one whom had also been married to her version of him, but it had been able to tell her apart from the woman who fought by his side day after day. The physical things were differences between her and *his* Sam, making it easier to believe. This one.. This Sam looked identical to his Major, from the uniform to the hair style; the only things that were notably different, and that you couldn’t see unless you really looked, was the other Sam’s rank of Captain and the simple band of gold wrapped around her finger. Other than those two differences only visible to someone who had memorised everything about the Sam from his reality, this could have been *his* Sam, and that thought terrified him more than he thought imaginable, shaking him to the very centre of his soul.

Shaken only from his thoughts from a moan that seemed muffled through his hazard suit, Jack turned sharply and saw Kawalsky, Major Charles Kawalsky, sitting on the cold floor next to this realities version of Janet and Cassandra Fraiser. Sam looked up at the movement, unaware he had come to stand beside her and forced herself to stop looking at these people as though she knew them, forcing her feelings to the back of her mind, trying to ignore the single thought that reverberated through her mind. <Too late. We’re too late.>

As Sam slipped into professional mode, Jack did the same thing, tearing his mind from thoughts of what had been and what should have been, in this reality as well as in his own. He shuffled over to his long-gone friend and crouched down beside him, lifting a gloved had to feel for a pulse. “ Kawalsky?” He asked timidly, surprised but relieved to feel a strong pulse beneath his fingertips, his voice resonating in the suit.

With another groan, Kawalsky stirred and pulled himself out of his dream world and back to the reality of disillusions and pain. He stared at the man in front of him, and then looked past him to where his friends were curled up in one another’s arms. Sadness washed over him, even as hope shone in his eyes, turning his gaze back to Jack. “ Charlie.. He got through?” His voice sounded weak and dry, his lips were cracked and his throat parched. Distantly, he tried to remember how long he had gone without water, without food, without his friends.

“ He’s okay, yeah,” Jack nodded. He looked quizzically into the face of his friend from a time long gone. “ How are you? You don’t look ill.”

“ I don’t feel it,” Kawalsky rasped. “ Just cold, and tired, and could use something to drink.” His eyes locked onto Jack’s as he spoke. “ The virus hasn’t affected me, I’m fine.”

Instinctively, Jack knew that he was right. There was something in Kawalsky’s eyes, something alive, something that was usually missing in the eyes of people terminally ill. “ If you’re okay.. Why didn’t you come through with Charlie?”

Kawalsky’s eyes strayed to the woman beside him, holding the child in her arms. His eyes were moist as he looked away from them, pain triumphing over relief. “ I couldn’t leave them,” he admitted in a whisper. “ I couldn’t leave my family.”

Nodding in understanding, Jack couldn’t help but let his eyes stray back to the couple just a few feet away, clutching each other desperately, love and acceptance frozen in time of their faces, looking at peace with one another. If the situation had been reversed, he couldn’t have left Sam to die alone, and it amazed him to think of the young boy back in the world he’d come from, to know that the child must have had the strength to leave everything and everyone he’d loved behind.

“ Colonel O’Neill?” The voice was on he recognised as being the team leader of SG-2, without even needing to turn around and confirm it. “ There are no survivors, Sir. Everyone within the mountain is dead.”

Bowing his head, out of respect and out of anguish, Jack nodded to show he’d heard the news. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he pulled himself together long enough to issue the orders his teams needed to hear. “ Major Kawalsky here seems okay. We’ll get a blood sample to be sure and get him suited up. That way if he tests positive, hopefully the suit will stop the contamination from spreading.”

Almost as soon as he’d finished talking, someone from one of the other SG teams set up the needle to take a sample of Kawalsky’s blood whilst two other people carefully unpacked one of the extra bio-suits that had been packed on the off chance they found some survivors. Jack stood and moved away from his friend, watching the scene from a distance, careful not to allow the grief show on his face. He looked around for his team mates and finding Daniel and Teal’c still stood near their counterparts. They appeared to be in quiet conversation so he chose not to disturb them, instead scanning the room for his second-in-command, the Sam from his reality.

She was standing by the mirror, just staring at a point just to its left, her thoughts evidently not on the matter at hand as Jack caught a glimpse of a tear running down her cheek through the protective clear plastic over their faces. He walked slowly over to her, careful not to attract any attention from anyone else, and put a gloved hand on her arm, startling her slightly.

“ You okay, Carter?” He asked, his voice distorted by the material between them.

“ Fine, Sir,” Sam lowered her gaze, the knowledge that she wasn’t telling the truth lying between them but Jack got the message loud and clear.

No, she wasn’t okay. And no, this wasn’t the place to talk about it. Maybe there was even a ‘no, he wasn’t the person she wanted to talk about it with’ in there, too, but Jack shook off the feeling he should be uncomfortable around her. This was Sam, *his* Sam. She was upset about something and she hadn’t been in peak condition on coming through on the mission. And that, Jack told himself, was why he hovered at her side even after they’d left for home again. It had nothing to do with being forced to confront the possibility of losing her, and nothing to do with the idea that this was the third alternate reality they had come across where they were together. Nothing at all.

Ten minutes later, all three SG-units and the semi-unconscious Charles Kawalsky left the way they had come, turning their backs on a reality destroyed by the Goa’uld. A reality that was a testament to the dangers they were facing, a reality that might be seen as some as being a sign of what fate had in store for them. They left with the hope, however, that now they had knowledge of another reality shattered by another devastating Goa’uld attack, and knew how the attack had come, that they might be able to avert the same fate from befalling them, and live to fight another day.

~*~

<Oblivious denial. Sweet denial.> Sam thought to herself as she got changed from her fatigues into sweat pants and a vest top, not standard uniform, but she had promised to spend the night in the infirmary under Janet’s watchful eye so she assumed she’d be granted some sort of reprieve. <Thank God Ja-the Colonel and I have the denial thing down.>

The memory was still fresh in her mind, though: the image of them. Herself and the Colonel. No, not them. Another Sam and her Jack. Holding one another, tear streaks still evident down their cheeks, matching gold wedding bands glinting in the beam of their flashlights. Together, close enough to be mistaken as one being. *Married*. She shut her locker door, wincing at the metallic clang that was the result of slamming it shut too hard.

Why was it that in every reality but the one *she* lived in, she and Jack were together? Why couldn’t they be together in this one? Was she so different to her counterparts? Or was fate just being cruel, tempting them with ideals of what could be if one little thing was different, and then forcing them to go back their rightful places, where that *one little thing* was slightly altered, and there was no way for them to be together? She’d seen the uniforms and understood the implication. Obviously, as well as Charlie being alive in that universe, something had happened between herself and Jack, regardless of regulations. Why was it all her alternates, and all of Jack’s alternates, could cross the line in other realities but not in this one?

She stared unseeingly at herself in the mirror. Seeing not her own reflection, but that of another Samantha Carter, *Doctor* Carter who had known temporary bliss with her Jack O’Neill before he was taken from her. <Maybe it’s a warning,> Sam thought darkly. <A warning that we’re destined to either be together and die, or be alive and be forced to live without each other.>

So far, she was neither pleased nor annoyed to note that Jack hadn’t been doing their usual ‘lets pretend that didn’t happen’ routine. She was relieved, in a way, that he wasn’t ignoring the fact that they had been together in that reality, but she wasn’t happy that he was hovering around her. One of the problems she’d noticed since they had had to confess their feelings for each other was that he seemed to give up trying to maintain a healthy, respectable distance. Before the Zaytark episode, if this had happened, he would keep his distance until enough time had passed for them to slip back into their masks of denial. Now, though, he wasn’t so eager to do that and she wasn’t sure if she should be happy he seemed to care more for her than his career, or worried he’d do something that could land them both in a lot of trouble.

<Then again,> she thought with a heavy sigh. <That was before Charlie arrived.> How were things going to change now? He didn’t just have himself to think about, he had his son. He had a responsibility to Sara to tell her they had been given a second chance to be parents and Sam knew that General Hammond would agree to the request to let Sara know about Charlie, if and when Jack made it.

Closing her eyes against the tears of anger and frustration, Sam slipped into the cotton shirt she kept in her locker in case she had to change into civilian clothes before leaving work, more for the comfort of something that was non-military rather than something to protect her from the cool air. The infirmary was never that cold anyway. Taking a deep steadying breath, she opened her eyes and walked out of the locker room, changing the sign on her way out, lost in her own thoughts of what fate had in store for her.

~*~

Her behaviour was worrying. Since getting to the infirmary, Sam had only spoken to ask whether Major Kawalsky was going to be okay and how Charlie had been during their time through the Mirror. After receiving positive answers from Janet about both of them, Sam spoke when she was asked a question but remained silent otherwise. In the end, the rest of SG-1 left for a debriefing and Janet left her three patients to get some much-needed sleep.

She couldn’t sleep. Sam lay on her bed, in between the beds of Charles Kawalsky and Charlie O’Neill, and stared up at the ceiling, unable to shake the foreboding feeling that had settled over her. Her life, she knew, was never going to be the same. The lives of SG-1 were never going to be the same. She was terrified, if she would only admit it to herself, that this twist in fate was just the beginning of the end. The end of SG-1 before their time. She was still fighting with her conscious and subconscious thoughts when a whimpering from the bed on her right drew her attention from her fears for the future and back to the present.

Without giving it a second thought, Sam threw back the covers of her bed and got to her feet. She padded across the short distance to Charlie’s bed and sat up on the edge of it, reaching a hand out to touch his face as he cried in his sleep. “ It’s alright, Charlie,” she whispered soothingly, stroking the hair back from his face in the same manner she used on her nephew and niece when they woke from nightmares. “ You’re safe now, no one’s going to hurt you, I promise.”

Hearing her words, Charlie woke up and looked at her with big brown eyes, tears rolling steadily down his cheeks. He sat up and went willingly into her arms, sobbing against her as she rocked him in her embrace, drawing more of herself up onto the bed so she could hold him close.

Kawalsky woke up at hearing muffled sobs and soft murmurs. He tilted his head and looked across Sam’s empty bed to where she was curled up on Charlie’s, holding the young boy as he cried. His heart broke for the young boy again as he watched the woman who was Charlie’s mother but who wasn’t at the same time unknowingly comfort the boy who thought of himself as her son. Kawalsky wondered if this Sam Carter had any idea how much she was already loved by Charlie, and what her reaction would be when she learnt what kind of a relationship her alternate had had with him.

Sighing, he tore his eyes from the two of them, and saw what they didn’t see. Standing in the doorway to the infirmary, silhouetted by the light in the hall, was the unmistakable figure of Jack O’Neill. In the darkness, Kawalsky could just about see the expression on his friend’s face and smiled to himself on seeing it was one purely of longing. He closed his eyes quickly, feigning sleep when he sensed Jack’s gaze resting on him, and when he opened his eyes again, the doorway was empty and Jack was gone.

“ Just sleep now,” Sam told Charlie, her voice loud enough to carry across the room to where Kawalsky lay. “ You need to get some rest.”

“ Good advice, you should take it yourself.” Kawalsky opened his eyes at her voice, his eyes locking on Doctor Janet Fraiser as she stood in the same place Jack had stood just moments before. He swallowed the unshed tears that were clogging his throat as staring at her brought back memories of his own fiancée. Things weren’t the same here, he had to remind himself of that. He caught sight of the ‘I’m the doctor and doctor knows best’ expression on her face and couldn’t help the word that escaped his lips.

“ Busted.” Sam murmured it at the same time as he whispered it and he had to smile a little. Sam dropped a soft kiss on Charlie’s forehead and lowered his head back down to the pillow. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and climbed back on her own bed. “ I’m just over here if you need me,” she told him softly. Kawalsky saw Charlie nod and smile, and felt grateful to this Sam for taking him under her wing so quickly and effortlessly.

“ Now get some sleep, Sam,” Janet ordered sternly. The small doctor walked towards the bed and pushed her friend down with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “ You need to get your rest as well. Colonel O’Neill won’t be happy if you prove my decision to let you go through with them wasn’t a wise one.”

“ I know,” Sam smiled weakly and snuggled back down under the covers. Satisfied, Janet walked away, back towards the door where she’d come from. “ Janet?”

“ Yes?” Hearing the slight catch in her friend’s voice, Janet stopped in the doorway, turning slightly to face her.

“ Nothing.” Sam changed her mind. She sighed to herself. “ Goodnight.” She waited until the sound of Janet’s heels echoing on the concrete floor faded before pushing the covers back from her face and staring up into the darkness, willing some form of unconsciousness to come. Sighing again, she turned till she was facing Charles Kawalsky, a little startled to find he was staring right back at her. “ Oh. Hi.”

“ Hi.” Kawalsky grinned a little. The concern was evident on his face as he looked past her to where Charlie was no sleeping soundly. “ Is he okay? I heard him crying.”

Sam nodded and brought a hand up to her mouth to stifle a yawn. “ He just had a nightmare.” She paused and squeezed her eyes shut. “ I can’t imagine what it’s like for him. What it’s like for either of you.”

“ It’s not as bad as you’re thinking,” he answered her, the sincerity in his voice taking her by surprise as her eyes opened again. “ If you think about it, we’re lucky to be alive. Even luckier to be alive and with you guys. I’m a little worried about Charlie, though.”

“ You think he’ll be okay?” Sam asked softly, hoping the answer would be yes.

“ That depends,” Kawalsky shrugged. “ Depends on either he’s accepted here, whether we can stay..”

“ I doubt General Hammond would refuse. Because neither of you have the problem of having to co-exist with your alternates.. Oh.” Her voice trailed off as she realised what she was saying and whom she was saying it to. “ I shouldn’t have.. I’m sorry.”

“ Both Charlie and me..” Kawalsky stared at her unfazed. “ We’re dead in this reality?”

Biting her lip, Sam fought the urge to duck her head under the covers. “ Yeah.. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“ How?” He pressed, wondering if it was morbid to be curious about how his alternate self had died.

“ It’s late,” she changed the subject, obviously uncomfortable with where it was heading. “ We should be resting.”

“ Hey, I’m sorry Sam,” Kawalsky apologised, seeing her unease. “ I didn’t mean to..”

Her eyes opened again. “ No, it’s okay, really,” she insisted quickly. “ It’s just not my place to say..”

Nodding, there was a short pause as they both shifted around to get comfortable in their respective beds. “ Hey, Sam?” Kawalsky asked after a short pause.

“ Hmm?” Sam mumbled, surprised to find she was already half-asleep.

Smiling to himself, knowing he wouldn’t get to sleep unless he voiced what was on his mind and had an answer to appease the nagging voice in his head. “ You and Jack, are you guys..?”

“ No!” Sam’s eyes flew open as she squinted into the darkness, almost certain she could see a knowing grin on his face. She frowned, wondering what had led him to ask such a thing. Surely he couldn’t tell how she felt for Jack by the way she was acting towards Charlie?

“ Okay, just asking,” Kawalsky responded, his amusement clear in his voice. “ Is he and Sara..?”

“ No.” Sam shook her head and cringed inwardly. She didn’t want to think about that, not now. Not when Jack and Sara now had the perfect reason to get back together. She didn’t want to think about that. “ Not that I know of,” she amended quickly. “ But it’s none of my business anyway.”

“ Oh.” Grinning, Kawalsky had his answer.

“ Oh what?” Her voice was both suspicious and anxious.

“ Never mind. Night, Sam,” he chuckled, turning so his back was facing her. “ Sweet dreams.”

“ Night.” Sam sighed deeply and closed her eyes again, hoping she could get to sleep now with no interruptions. She lay there for a long time, staring at the ceiling as sleep continued to evade her, instead replaced with images of certain people and certain things that weren’t very conducive to trying to get some sleep.

~*~

Part Three

~*~

“ So what happens now? We can’t send Charlie and Major Kawalsky back, the virus has spread outside of the SGC in their universe and we have no way of knowing if anyone there has survived.” Daniel sat in the briefing room, addressing General Hammond, Doctor Fraiser, Kawalsky and the rest of SG-1.

After pitiful night of attempting to get some sleep, Sam just stared at him, blinking her blue eyes every so often in an attempt at staying awake. She raised her hand to her mouth to cover a yawn she couldn’t stifle as Kawalsky began to answer the archaeologist.

“ There’d be no point in sending Charlie back, anyway,” Kawalsky was saying, careful to keep his eyes averted so they wouldn’t stray and implicate anyone. “ His parents are dead in that universe, he has no one there.”

“ He has you,” Janet reminded him softly, making Sam look up at study her friend carefully. She saw Janet lower her eyes to the desk and a small smile played on her lips. <Looks like someone’s taken more than a professional interest in one of her patients,> Sam thought to herself, smiling a little more widely at the thought. She had never tried to picture Janet being paired off with Kawalsky because in her reality, Kawalsky had died before Janet had even been assigned to the SGC. Now, however, there was a chance Kawalsky would be staying with them so it was possible. Anything was possible.. <Anything but you and Colonel O’Neill sailing off into the metaphorical sunset with each other,> part of her mind reminded her scornfully, making her sit up straighter in her chair and pay attention to what was going on.

“ He doesn’t need me,” Kawalsky responded in a low tone. “ He needs his parents, and they’re here.”

“ Major Carter,” General Hammond spoke directly to her, giving her no choice but to leave the safe haven of her thoughts for a little while. “ As there is no chance of Kawalsky and Charlie suffering like your counterpart did, do you foresee any problems with them staying in our reality?”

“ The only problem would be that the records say they’re both dead,” Sam stated, wincing slightly at the bluntness of her own tone. “ However,” she hurried to add. “ If you got permission off the right people, the records could easily be changed and there would be no problem.”

“ Good.” General Hammond nodded. “ I’ll see what I can do about that. As soon as I’ve spoken to the President, Colonel, it might be a good idea to arrange for Charlie to meet with his mother.” Jack didn’t say anything, he just nodded and General Hammond bit back a sigh at the look that had passed across Sam’s face before her unrevealing mask slipped back into place. “ Dismissed people.” General Hammond stood up and left the room first, heading towards his adjoining office.

“ Sam?” Janet walked over to Sam and stopped her from leaving the room by placing a hand on her arm. “ Did you get any sleep last night?”

Shaking her head, Sam leaned against the wall as Daniel and Teal’c passed, with the former throwing a sympathetic smile in her direction. “ Not really. I was going to have a word with General Hammond and get some time off. I could do with a break away.. from everything.”

“ That’s a good idea,” Janet nodded, her surprise that it was Sam who suggested it clear in her face and in her tone. She lowered her voice and leaned in a little, trying to keep their conversation private from Kawalsky and Jack who were seemingly involved in a quiet conversation of their own. “ Are you okay? You look even more exhausted today than you did yesterday.”

Sam closed her eyes, feeling tears well up within them and cursing herself for being so.. so human. “ I’ll be fine,” she murmured weakly. “ I just need some sleep. And some time to clear my mind.” She opened her eyes in time to see Kawalsky start walking towards the door and forced a smile. “ You should get back to the infirmary. You have patients to tend to.”

“ Okay.” Janet studied her carefully. “ If you need me, you know where I am. And tell the General I recommend you have some time off.”

“ I will.” Sam smiled genuinely and watched as Janet started to leave, only to turn back to her and hug her on impulse and then give her a sweet smile as she left the briefing room with Kawalsky in tow. Sam took a deep breath and started walking towards the General’s office, only to be reminded of Jack’s presence when he called out for her.

“ Carter?” Jack forced a small grin a she turned to face him, concern darkening his eyes.

“ Sir?” She looked at him expectantly, frowning when she saw how tense he seemed to be. “ Is there something wrong, Colonel?”

His cheeks felt hot as he shook his head and dragged his eyes from hers. “ Not really.. Kawalsky just told me.. You know how they.. the you and me from that place.. You know how they were.. married, right?”

“ I noticed that, Sir, yes,” Sam nodded, unsure where he was heading with this.

“ Well.” He gestured futilely with his hands. “ It seems.. Kawalsky said they weren’t just married. Apparently.. Well.. They were Charlie’s parents. The other you adopted Charlie and became his Mom. That’s probably one of the reasons he let you get close to him.”

“ Oh.” She just stared at him for a few moments, trying to comprehend what he was telling her. Shaking herself mentally, Sam tilted her head to one side and raised an eyebrow. “ What about the Sara from that reality? I mean.. She is his mother.”

“ Only biologically from what Kawalsky said.” Jack sighed heavily. “ I know this is going to sound strange.. But I heard Janet say you should rest and I’m gonna be taking some time to get Charlie settled and I have to try and talk him round to meeting this realities Sara.. Kawalsky suggested you come and stay with Charlie and me. He said it would help Charlie get settled quicker.”

<Am I hearing right?> Sam wondered. She took notice of his hopeful-come-nervous expression and decided that she must be, as bizarre as it sounded. “ Sir..” Her voice sounded thick so she cleared her throat and tried again. “ I don’t think it would be a very good idea, Sir. If Charlie is used to having.. to having the other me in his life, it would be better to show him from the start that that’s not how it’s going to be here.” <It’s not allowed to be,> she finished bitterly.

Jack shuffled his feet, looking at the floor. “ Isn’t that a little harsh? I mean, wouldn’t it be better if we got him settled in here and made sure he felt safe and wanted before springing any changes on him?”

Sighing, Sam shook her head. “ I don’t know, Colonel. You’ll have to talk to General Hammond about it. Given the circumstances.. I’m not sure it would be appropriate.”

“ We’ll see what Hammond says,” Jack muttered. He guided her to the doorway to the office with a hand at the small of her back. “ You wanted to see him anyway, might as well go together.”

Nodding because she knew she had no real say in the matter, Sam let him led her to the office and knock on the door for them. She sat down on one of the chairs when General Hammond invited them to and faded in and out of the conversation, adding her opinion if it was asked for, which wasn’t very often as her distinct lack of concentration was concerning both Jack and General Hammond so they kept her out of the conversation as much as possible. Within half an hour, Jack was once again ushering her out of the office, looking very pleased with himself.

“ Get your stuff together, Major and we’ll stop off at your place on the way home.” He grinned charmingly at her. “ We’ll meet you topside in ten minutes.”

Sam just stared after him as he walked down the hallway away from her and towards the infirmary. What had just happened? She frowned as she cast a look over her shoulder at the closed door to General Hammond’s office. She had been expecting General Hammond to take her side, to tell Jack it wouldn’t be suitable. Instead he’d practically ordered her to move in with the O’Neill’s, so she could help Charlie adjust to his new home – and so Jack could ensure she got the rest Doctor Fraiser kept insisting she needed in her medical reports to the General.

<Why is everyone ganging up on me?> Sam asked herself as she walked towards her quarters, intending on getting some of her belongings so she wouldn’t need to spend too much time in her apartment so Charlie could get to his new home as soon as possible. <Why,> she wondered as she shut the door to her quarters eight minutes later, <is fate being so cruel? Rubbing salt in the wound by showing me what I can’t have?>

Glancing at her watch showed she didn’t have time to contemplate the question. She only had two minutes to get from her quarters to the car park, a journey that took two minutes in the elevators anyway.

~*~

Charlie was thrilled to find he was going to have Jack and Sam to himself for the next week – on the orders of General Hammond, no less. He spent the first day just smiling and giggling when they talked to him, whereas Sam and Jack treated each other like strangers and walked on eggshells. On the second day, Jack called Sara and told her what had happened and arranged for her to meet Charlie at a barbeque with everyone else present the following weekend. Charlie wasn’t happy with the decision and spent two hours throwing a tantrum and insisting he didn’t need Sara in his life, not when he had Sam.

The argument upset Sam, who was starting to feel too at home in the Colonel’s house, so she excused herself from the dinner table and went up to one of the spare rooms – the one that had been designated hers the day before. She lay on her bed, face down, and closed her eyes tightly. <Sammie,> she told herself sternly. <You have got to get out of here.>

Ten minutes later, she heard a soft knock at the door. “ Come in.”

The door opened and Charlie stuck his head round it, looking apologetic. “ I didn’t mean to upset you, Mo-Sam. I just.. I don’t wanna see Sara.”

“ It’s okay.” Sam sat up and opened her arms to him, the pleading puppy-dog eyes he wore being the mirror image of his fathers – eyes she couldn’t resist even if she had tried. “ Come here.” He grinned and ran at her, jumping up onto the bed and throwing his arms around her neck. “ You know,” she murmured once he had settled against her. “ Your Mom.. Sara.. might not be the same as the one you remember. I mean, the reason you don’t want to meet her is because the only one you’ve ever met wasn’t very nice. I don’t believe your father would want you to meet this one if he thought she was going to upset you.”

“ I know,” Charlie sniffed. “ But I don’t need her when I have you.”

“ Charlie..” Sam’s voice trailed off as she stared helplessly at the door, her eyes locking with Jack’s. “ It’s not as easy as that,” she told them both at the same time, though Charlie was unaware of his father’s presence. “ There are.. complications and it would probably be better for all of us, especially you, if you gave Sara a chance.” She pulled back from Charlie a little and lowered her gaze to meet his. “ Will you do that for me? Just give Sara a chance?”

Charlie nodded, his eyes bright and solemn. “ Will you be there, though?”

“ I promise,” she pulled him back to her for a quick hug and caught sight of the time, pulling away again. “ Now I think it’s time you went to bed. It’s late and we’re all tired.”

“ Okay.” Charlie tilted his face up to hers to accept the kiss she placed upon his forehead. “ Night, Sam.”

“ Night, Charlie.” She watched with a fond smile as he climbed off her bed and walked towards his father, her smile growing as Jack ruffled his son’s hair making him grin.

“ Oh, and Sam?” Charlie stopped in the doorway, shuffling his feet.

“ Yes?”

“ I love you.” He blushed a deep scarlet colour and darted from the room, leaving his father grinning and Sam staring after him in shock. Sam groaned and buried her head in her hands, raising it only when she felt the bed dip, signalling Jack had joined her.

She stared him in the eyes and sighed heavily. “ I told you this was a bad idea. He’s getting too close.”

“ No, he isn’t,” Jack shook his head. “ He was close to you before he got here.”

“ No, he was close to someone who’s been his mother for the last three years,” Sam protested, shaking her head. “ That isn’t me, Colonel. It never will be.”

His shoulder’s slumped and he looked dejected. “ Carter.. Sam.. Whether it was you or not, it was a Sam Carter who raised him. He’s as much your son as he is mine. In his eyes, nothing will change that.”

“ But that can’t happen here, Co-Jack,” she reminded him softly. “ Sara has a right to be a mother again, and I won’t stand in her way.”

“ Even if Charlie asks you to?” He challenged her, gazing squarely into her eyes.

Luckily, she was saved from answering by the child in question shouting for his father. Jack sighed heavily at the interruption and went to see what was going on. Sam took advantage of his leaving and was able to feign sleep when he returned half an hour later to finish their discussion.

“ I’m not letting you get out of it that easily, Sam,” he murmured, brushing some hair from her face. “ Not without fighting you on it.”

He left her room and crossed the hall to his own. He knew it was against regulations, he knew it was wrong but how wrong was it to want the right mother for your child? How wrong was it to want to be happy and make someone else happy? Jack frowned as he shifted restlessly, trying to force him body to lapse into the luxury that was slumber – something that wasn’t easy with a certain blond haired, blue eyed Major sleeping in a room just across the hall. How could it be wrong when imagining an impossible future felt so right?

~*~

The rest of the week continued in the same manner. When Charlie was with them, Sam and Jack were at ease with one another and were able to let their guards down. They were mistaken for a family on more than one occasion and as long as Charlie was there, Sam didn’t seem to get upset about it. When she was alone with Jack, however, was another story completely. Things were tense and awkward, and it was obvious she was trying too hard to keep some walls between them, walls Jack was becoming more and more determined to tear down. His determination only grew more as he witnessed Sam and Charlie spend time together. On Wednesday night, Sam announced she was feeling rested enough to return to work. There were more tantrums from Charlie, but he was easily subdued by Jack’s promise that Sam would be home every day for dinner and would still be staying over – a promise that bound Sam to the O’Neill household even though she had been meaning to make her escape.

During the day on Thursday and Friday, Sam was missed by both Charlie and Jack. They spend the day doing father-son activities but it just wasn’t the same without Sam there to watch them and fall about laughing when they ended up in a pile on the ground after an unsuccessful attempt by Jack to steal the hockey puck from Charlie. In the evening, Charlie would monopolise Sam’s time until he went to bed and then Sam and Jack would make small talk, with Sam catching him up on what he was missing at work.

Not once did he wish to be back there. Not once would he trade spending time with his son for being back at the SGC. Jack knew he would be able to go back to work, and build up some enthusiasm for it, once his son started school, but for the time being, he was perfectly – and surprisingly – content to spend time with Charlie during the day, looking forward to spending time with Sam in the evening.

On Friday night, the night before the barbeque, it took two hours to get Charlie to bed and another half an hour until he fell asleep. He insisted both Sam and Jack stay with him until he fell asleep, making them take turns in reading him stories and giving him cuddles. Jack surprised at how much Charlie seemed to love being hugged but reminded himself that this Charlie wasn’t the same one he had known a long time ago.

As soon as he fell asleep, Sam and Jack crept out of the bedroom and were silent until they were downstairs. Jack started clearing the dining table of dishes and carrying them through to the kitchen and Sam started washing them up. They did them in silence, working together but with their minds elsewhere instead of on the job at hand. Once everything was washed, dried and put back in its rightful place, Sam walked through to the living room and sat down on the couch, closing her eyes and bringing a hand up to rub the nape of her neck. Jack stood watching for a few moments, standing on the threshold that led into the kitchen with two bottles of beer in his hands, just watching.

After fighting internally with himself, he took a deep breath and walked over to join her on the couch. “ Here.” He handed her one bottle and set the other on the table, putting his hands on her shoulders and turning her gently so she had her back towards him. She tried fighting him for a moment, caught by surprise at the contact, but stopped as his hands began their sweet torture on her aching muscles. “ Tough day at work?”

“ Ah, yeah,” she mumbled, closing her eyes. “ You could say that.” She took a swing of her beer before expanding on the topic. “ SG-11 brought back something from their mission to P7X010, only they hadn’t bothered to ask what it was so my day was spent trying to figure out how to make the damn thing work.”

“ And did you?” Jack asked curiously, slipping his fingers underneath her collar so he could feel the soft skin covering the muscles he was kneading.

She nodded and bit her bottom lip against a moan. “ Oh. Yeah. Eventually. Turned out to be some sort of time capsule-thing. Daniel got really excited and abducted it from my lab before I could finish all of my tests on it.”

“ You can finish them Monday,” he murmured, leaning in on impulse to press a very quick kiss against the back of her neck. He knew he’d gone too far when she stiffened in his arms and twisted out of his grasp. Sighing, he lifted his eyes to meet hers, ready to apologise but the words got caught in his throat. He had lit the fire earlier on and now she seemed to be framed by the warm glow of the flames. She had never looked more beautiful to him as she did just then, looking at him with big blue eyes. “ Sam..” He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, certain he’d lost all common sense and was about to get treated to her right hook. To his surprise, however, he felt no resistance. Just as he was about to pull back, he felt one of her hands at the back of his neck, keeping him to her as she kissed him back tentatively.

“ Oh, God,” were her first words as they parted. If they hadn’t been accompanied by a look of horror on her face, Jack would have been flattered. Sam brought a hand up to touch her lips, and stared at him through cloudy eyes. “ I.. That shouldn’t have.. I have to go. Goodnight, Colonel.”

Before he could stop her, Sam was on her feet and almost running for the stairs and for her room. Jack sat there in confusion, shaking his head. He knew he had made the first move, he wouldn’t deny that. But Sam had kissed him back, that he was certain of. So why was he left feeling like the bad guy?

~*~

It was obvious to everyone, Sara O’Neill included, that something had happened between Sam and Jack. They avoided being alone together, they avoided speaking to each other or looking at each other, muttering nothing more than an embarrassed ‘sorry’ when they accidentally bumped into each other, trying to leave and enter a room at the same time. Sam stayed within Charlie’s line of view until it appeared he was getting along well with Sara and she felt she was able to make a discreet escape without drawing any attention to herself.

She was in the room that had quickly become her own, packing her things, when Janet found her.

“ Hey,” Janet smiled warmly and shut the door behind her. “ You okay?”

“ Fine,” Sam answered, obviously not fine and obviously distracted. “ I’m fine.”

Sitting down on the bed, Janet tried not to sound as doubtful as she felt. “ You don’t look it.”

“ I..” Sam sighed and looked at Janet helplessly. “ It’s just so hard.”

“ You feel like you don’t belong here?” Janet guessed.

Stopping what she was doing, Sam gave her a questioning look. “ How’d you know?”

“ Just a guess.” Janet gave her a small shrug and took her hand, pulling Sam down to sit beside her on the bed. “ So am I right?”

Leaning her head against Janet’s shoulder, Sam nodded. “ I suppose it’s something like that.”

“ Well, I’m here for you, if you need me. You can always talk to me about what’s going on if you want to,” Janet offered friendlily. “ No matter what, I’m here as your friend first and foremost.”

“ There’s nothing going so there’s nothing to talk about,” Sam responded glumly, getting to her feet again.

“ Is that the problem? That there’s nothing going on?”

Sighing and shaking her head in a weak attempt at clearing if off all of her jumbled thoughts, Sam resumed packing her things. “ I don’t know. Maybe. It’s just.. I’ve enjoyed being here, a lot more than I should. But it’s all make believe, Janet. And it’s over now, it’s not my place to be here. It’s hers. She’s Charlie’s Mom and she’s Jack’s.. Colonel O’Neill’s wife. I was pretending I was needed, fooling myself. I’m not part of this family and I never was. I never will be.”

“ I don’t believe that,” Janet argued, also getting to her feet. “ If you hadn’t been here..”

“ No.” Sam cut her off with a pleading glance. “ Don’t. I know you’re trying to make me feel better but I can’t.. I just can’t deal with that right now.”

Nodding her sympathy and understanding, Janet put what she had been about to say out of her mind. “ What are you going to do?”

“ Go home,” Sam answered reluctantly. “ To my real home. My apartment. It’ll seem so small after this place.. but it’s where I belong.”

“ Have you told Colonel O’Neill? And Charlie?” Looking at her with new concern, Janet hoped her friend wasn’t running away from the child she loved as well as the man.

Giving her a one shouldered-shrug, Sam zipped up one pocket of the bag and started filling another. “ I’ll tell Charlie when I say goodnight to him.”

“ And Colonel O’Neill?” The small doctor pressed.

“ He’ll find out when I’m gone.” Sam’s tone left no room for argument. “ I’ve got to finish packing.”

Janet walked to the door, stopping with her hand on the door handle. “ You’ll be okay?”

Sam nodded and Janet left, shutting the door behind her. “ I hope so.” Sam added to herself as she continued packing her belongings, pushing all thoughts of having to say goodbye to Charlie out of her mind until it was inevitable.

Ten minutes later, she was all packed up. She was about to go downstairs and join in the party when there was a knock at the door. Sighing to herself, she sat down on her bed, thinking it was Janet. “ Come in, Janet.”

“ Well..” Jack entered the room and raised an eyebrow. “ I know I’m not Janet but she is partly why I’m here.”

Sam groaned and put her hand to her head. “ She told you?”

“ You were going to leave without telling me?” He stared down on her, his gaze heavy on her head until she looked up and met his eyes. “ Sam.. After everything that’s happened.. I can’t believe you were just going to walk out on me! On Charlie!”

“ I should have moved out when I went back to work. You know that!” Sam stood up, hating the way she felt, as if she had to justify her actions to him.

“ Then why didn’t you, huh?” He shot back immediately, his voice raising. “ You chose to stay. I asked you if you would and you said yes. Why’d you do that, Sam? Why when you didn’t have to?”

“ Because you promised Charlie I’d be here!” Sam shouted back. “ You didn’t give me a chance to leave! You know I would have left if I could have done without hurting him!”

“ I don’t believe that,” Jack responded, surprisingly calm. He reached out and put a firm hand on her shoulder. “ I think you stayed for another reason. You stayed for the same reason I wanted you to stay.”

“ And what would that be?” Sam glared at him, her face burning as she realised the guests downstairs could probably hear their argument.

“ I love you.” Jack told her, his voice soft and his eyes hiding nothing. He took a step closer, tightening his grip on her shoulders when she tried to move away.

“ You’re just confused,” Sam shook her head. “ You don’t.. My being here with Charlie has just complicated and confused everything like I said it would.”

“ I know how I feel,” he murmured, getting even closer, sliding his hands down her arms, wrapping them further around her so he could clasp his hands at the small of her back.. “ I know I love you, Sam. I’ve known for a long time and there’s not a chance in Hell I’m letting another minute pass without making sure that you know.”

“ No.” She pushed against him, realising the futility of her actions but trying all the same. “ You’re just saying you do for Charlie’s sake. Because you think it’s what he wants, but he doesn’t know what he wants. Neither do you. It’s not fair, Jack.. *Sir*. It’s not fair, *Sir*.”

“ No, call me Jack,” he ordered without being menacing. “ Not Sir, not now.”

His lips were on hers before she could argue, sending her to various planes of existence as one hand came up to steady her head, preparing her as he fused their mouths together in a hot, passionate kiss that was nothing like the kiss they had shared the evening before, one that was more reminiscent of the first kiss they’d ever shared, all those years ago, after bringing more than they expected back with them from a distant planet.

Unfortunately, their kiss wasn’t allowed to come to a natural close. A startled gasp from the doorway brought them crashing back down to Earth with a bump as Sam was horrified to find an equally astounded Sara O’Neill standing in the doorway, her blue eyes open in shock. Jack’s arms dropped guiltily to his sides as he looked to Sam and then back to the now-empty doorway where Sara had been.

“ Go after her,” Sam told him quietly, turning away so he wouldn’t see the sole tear that made its lonely trek down her cheek.

“ This isn’t over, Sam. Not by a long shot,” were Jack’s parting words as he left the room as though someone was chasing him.

“ Yes, it is,” Sam whispered to the empty air where he had been standing. “ It’s more than over.”

~*~

“ Sara! Sara, wait!” Jack ran after his ex-wife as she opened the front door to the house. She stopped and turned to look at him through moist eyes. “ Please, we need to talk.”

“ Yeah, we do.” Sara agreed. She glanced down at her feet and breathed in deeply before raising her eyes back up to his. “ But not here. Can you drive me home, please? We can talk on the way.”

“ Don’t you want to stay..” His voice trailed off as she shook her head.

“ I want to go home.” The look in her eyes told him she was serious and wasn’t about to change her mind.

At that time, Daniel came into the room, having heard the commotion and been sent to find out what it was by the others who were still helping themselves to beers and food. “ Hey, Jack.. Oh, hi Sara. Everything okay?”

Forcing a grin, Jack nodded that it was. “ I.. I’ve got to take Sara home now. Can you make sure someone stays with Charlie till I get home?” By ‘someone’, it was clear Jack meant Sam as his gaze drifted in the direction of the stairs.

“ Sure, no problem,” Daniel agreed, staring at them with unabashed curiosity. “ Erm.. Drive carefully. It was nice meeting you, Sara.”

“ You, too, Daniel,” Sara smiled weakly and walked out of the house, leaving the two men to share confused glances as one went back to the barbeque and the other followed his ex-wife outside.

~*~

Part Four

~*~

They drove in silence, neither willing to start the conversation they were both dreading. Eventually, Jack pulled up outside Sara’s house and got out of the car, following her up to the front door.

Sitting down on the front steps of Sara’s house, Jack sighed heavily and looked at his hands. He couldn’t look her in the eyes and didn’t know how to start. After minutes of silence had passed, he cleared his voice and started talking in a voice made gruff by heavily laden-emotion. “ Sara.. I don’t know how to say this.. You have every right to see Charlie, and I won’t stop you. I don't want to stop you from spending time with your son. But I have to make it clear that there is no way our marriage is going to work out.”

“ Because of Sam?” Her innocent question sounded like an accusation to his ears, but when he looked up, he saw nothing but acceptance on her face.

“ Yeah.” Looking away again, he plucked some grass from the earth beside the steps and played with it nervously. “ Yeah, I guess.”

Smiling sadly, Sara reached out to still his hands. “ You love her.”

“ Like I never have before,” he blurted out, a meek expression flittering across his face as he realised who he had just made the admittance to. “ I’m sorry..”

“ It’s okay,” she assured him softly, her eyes bright. “ I understand.”

“ You do?” Jack looked confused, arching an eyebrow as he stared at her, trying to discern whether she was telling him the truth.

Looking away, Sara sighed heavily and rested her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands. “ We were young, Jack. We didn’t really know what love was.”

“ Guess we did,” he agreed gently, as they lapsed into silence once again. The irony of the situation didn’t escape his attention. Here he was, talking about his feelings for Sam with the woman Sam thought he was in love with. <A typical example of how screwed up the world of Jack O’Neill is,> a cynical voice from inside him murmured.

“ So what’s it like?” Her question surprised him, shaking him from his thoughts and making him jump a little, almost making his lose his balance and fall off the steps. He looked to see her smiling apologetically and she saw the question in his eyes. “ To really love someone,” she clarified. “ Please, Jack. Humour me.”

Looking out down the path, towards his car and the street beyond, Jack thought about the question, and how he could answer it without hurting her feelings. Sighing inwardly, he realised that she was being completely honest with him. She deserved the same in return. Turning his head to meet her eyes, he gave her a small grin. “ It’s.. It’s great. Deeper and stronger and more intense that anything I’ve ever known. It’s incredible.. A little scary, but then it’s..”

“ It’s love,” Sara finished for him, a soft, sorrowful smile curving up her lips.

“ Yeah.” He nodded and shifted uncomfortably. “ Sara.. I never meant to hurt you..”

“ I know,” she cut him off quickly, hurriedly reassuring him she knew his intentions were never to hurt her. She looked at him and knew this was the man she had married, but not the man she’d married. He was different now, Sam had brought something out in him that she never could and although it hurt, she was happy for him. She truly was. “ It’s okay. What you have is special, you’re lucky. You should hold onto it and Sam as tightly as you can and never let go.”

“ I will,” Jack promised, making a vow to himself as well as Sara. He shifted again, fidgeting with another piece of grass. “ About Charlie..”

Shaking her head, Sara once again cut him off, saving him from thinking of what to say. “ My son died years ago. I accepted that and moved on. This Charlie isn’t my son, he’s Sam’s. As much as it hurts.. It was so clear in the way they looked at each other. Just like it’s easy to see Sam has you and your heart by the way you look at her. And the way you talk about her.” Her throat ached and her eyes stung but she bravely blinked back the tears and continued. “ Charlie needs Sam as much as you do, and I think she needs you both, too. She’s a good woman, Jack. She’ll be a wonderful mother. If you need me to sign anything.. to make it official she’s his mother.. I will, because I know she’ll love him in the way he deserves and needs to be loved.”

Touched by her words, and feeling a little guilty at the relief he felt, Jack nodded and closed his eyes. He took a few deep breaths and reached out for her hand, giving it a grateful squeeze. “ What will you do now?”

“ Make a clean break,” she answered with a small smile, a light pink blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks. “ There’s actually someone.. I’m not sure if it’s what you and Sam have but he treats me well, makes me happy. He’s asked me to move to Chicago with him. I think I’ll say yes and go with him.”

“ Why didn’t you say..?” Jack looked at her in astonishment, this being the first time he had heard of there being someone in his ex-wife’s life.

“ I don’t know,” Sara admitted with a laugh that ended in a sigh. “ I guess I couldn’t move on till I knew for certain there was nothing to hold onto.” Once again, silence blanketed over them as they thought about the times they had shared together in the past, and the times they would share with others in the future. “ You should go, Jack. What are you doing talking to me when you’ve got a family to get back to?”

“ If Sam agrees to be a part of it,” he retorted doubtfully.

“ She will.” Sara spoke confidently. “ You just have to make sure she knows how you feel about her.”

Looking at her curiously, Jack titled his head to one side. “ How’d you know?”

“ Because she loves you,” she responded, using a tone that suggested he should have realised that by now. “ And she loves Charlie. You’ve just got to make sure she knows you feel the same way.”

“ Guess so.” <But that isn’t going to be easy,> he told himself as he got to his feet, brushing his trousers free of the grass he had been shredding throughout most of the conversation. “ Goodbye, Sara.”

“ Goodbye, Jack.” Sara rose to her feet and pulled him into her arms for a warm embrace both knew was their last. “ Good luck,” she murmured as they parted, knowing that he wouldn’t need it as long as he was as honest with Sam as he had been with her.

“ You, too,” Jack gave her a warm grin before turning on his heel and walking away. He got into his car and turned the key in the ignition, pulling away without looking back once. Saying goodbye always hurt but at least this time, Jack knew they were saying goodbye to their old lives, and embarking on beginning anew.

~*~

It was dark by the time Jack made it home. He had taken the long route, needing time to think about what he was going to say to Sam, and had ended up stopping at a gas station – to buy her some flowers, rather than fill up the tank, which was near full anyway.

He felt stupid. He felt childish. He felt indescribably nervous. Holding the flowers behind his back, he unlocked the front door of his house, relieved to see there were no other cars in the drive which meant everyone else had left and Sam was there alone.

“ Hello?” He called out as he walked into the house, shutting the door softly behind him. Sam appeared in the doorway of the living room but he was stopped from saying anything as his foot came into contact with something on the floor. He looked down and saw her bag, the one she had been packing earlier and realised her plans hadn’t changed. If anything, she looked even more determined. “ Sam, we need to talk.”

“ I need to call a cab,” she responded distantly, turning her back on him and going in search of a phone. “ Charlie’s sleeping. It took an hour to get him to go bed and another hour to get him asleep but we made it in the end. He’s decided he likes Sara, so you should be pleased about that. Looks like you’ll get your little family after all.”

“ Sam, stop.” He walked up behind her and took the receiver out of her hand, placing it back down on its cradle. “ You’re not going anywhere. And yeah, Charlie might like Sara and I’m happy he does but he doesn’t love her. Not like he loves you.” He wrapped both of his arms around her, showing her the flowers at the same time as pulling her back against his front, sighing at the tension in her body. “ I don’t love Sara like I love you, either.”

She released her breath in an uneven shudder, squeezing her eyes shut tightly as she fought to regain control of her emotions. “ Don’t start that again, Colonel. I saw the guilt in your eyes when she walked in on us this afternoon. If you want to be with her, go ahead. Charlie will learn to accept it and love her like he should love his mother.”

“ No, he won’t,” Jack shook his head stubbornly. “ Partly because he can’t love her like that but mainly because he won’t get the chance. Sara and I talked.. She’s moving to Chicago with some guy she’s seeing.”

“ Oh.” Sam turned around in his arms, scanning his face to see if there was any pain on his features and surprised when she found none. “ I’m sorry. I didn’t know she was seeing anyone.”

“ Neither did I,” he admitted casually, staring deeply into her eyes. “ I’m happy for her, though. It means she’s moved on, and that means I don’t have to feel guilty for wanting to be with someone else.” He silenced her by bringing one hand up to her face and placing a finger over her lips, keeping a decent grip on her with the other hand that was still at her back. “ Hear me out before you say anything. Sara and I talked, a lot. Mostly about you and how I feel about you. She gave me some good advice I’m going to follow, she said I had to hold onto you and what we have as tightly as I can for as long as I can and that’s something I didn’t need telling. Felt kinda strange being told to do that by my ex-wife but then I’m not really a conventional kind of guy. Sam.. Sara also told me she knows Charlie is more your son than hers.. That she’s accepted her son died and that she wants you to be his Mom now.” He tipped her face up with a gentle hand under her chin. “ She offered to sign anything that needs signing to make sure there’s no mistake anywhere.. So you can be his Mom.”

“ I..” Sam bit her lip and shook her head, wanting to believe it but unable to. “ I can’t do this, Jac-Sir. I can’t get this close, to you and to Charlie, and then have to say goodbye on Monday morning when you get back to work and remember the regulations. I’m sorry.. But I can’t do that.”

“ Good, because I don’t want you to,” Jack told her seriously. “ I want you to be with me every Monday morning and every other day. I want you to help me raise *our* son the best we can.”

Squirming in his grasp, Sam told herself that she had to get away now. That she had to keep resisting. “ But regulations.. We *can’t*. As much as we might want to, it’s just not possible!”

“ Worry about that later,” he commanded, raising his hand to the back of her head. “ I know it’s praying on your mind right now, Sam. As are a lot of other doubts. Please don’t let them stand in our way, don’t let some bureaucrat sitting in an office somewhere who has no idea what kind of danger we face on a daily basis make one of the most important decisions of our lives for us. I love you, Sam. I want to be with *you*, no matter what the cost.”

His words rang true and brought more tears to her eyes. “ But..”

“ No buts.” He placed a soft finger against her lips, his hand lingering there as he stroked his finger across her lips and cheek, cupping her cheek in his palm. “This is the one reality where we *might* get the happy ending where neither of us dies. I can’t pass that chance up and I don’t think you can either. Please, Sam. Just a yes, or a no. Say no and I’ll leave you alone and won’t pressure you again. Say yes.. and we’ll go to see Hammond first thing Monday morning and tell him he accepts us as a couple or I walk.”

“ You can’t quit, Jack!” She protested. “ You can’t, the SGC needs you! *I* need you!”

“ You’ll have me, Sam. Always. Just say yes.”

Hesitating, staring into his eyes as if hoping to find her answer there, Sam was torn. Torn between the loyalty to the rules she had been following for most of her adult life and torn between her feelings for this man who was standing before her, wearing his heart on his sleeve.

Torn between her doubts and torn between her hopes.

Struggling to follow her mind, or listen to her heart.

In the end, there was only one answer. Only one word that she knew she could say and live with. One word with the power to make or break their future; one word on which so many hopes and dreams relied.

“ Yes.”

The End.

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Continued in Reflective Fate III: Fates Entwined

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