Title: Masquerade

Author/Email: Jo. R (Jo@ram32.freeserve.co.uk)

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Minor for seasons 1-5. Nothing that would jump out at you for seasons 6-7.

Season: Season Eight.

Category: S/J Established relationship, Angst, NID storyline.

Warnings: None.

Summary: You can't hide forever.

Archive: Random Ramblings, SJA, GW, The Novel Archive.

Disclaimer: Sam, Jack et al aren't mine. Original characters, organisations and situations are.

Dedication: The sparkly t-shirt peeps: squeee, bounce, evil and not evil ;)

=*=

Adrenaline pumped through her veins, keeping her senses alert, her body tense. The gun in her hand was heavy but she barely felt it. It was just an extension of her body, something that was as familiar to her as an arm or a leg.

Something as vital as a heart or lung.

She slipped quietly from shadow to shadow, letting the darkness engulf her body. Protect her, hide her. The stealth she used had been well practised over many years, ever since her innocence had been stripped away.

Ever since her career had consumed everything else in her life.

Somehow she managed to keep her breathing under control, kept her nerves from overwhelming her. This case was different; this investigation had taken a very personal twist.

They knew who she was and would do whatever it took to keep her from exposing them. The blackmail she'd ignored, she'd done nothing she was ashamed of. The threats to her career had been laughed off – if they knew the full extent of her career they would've known she wasn't someone who scared easily, or someone the US government would let get away.

No, their earlier attempts at spooking her had failed.

It was the kidnapping of her partner that made her sit up and pay attention. It was the message left on her answering machine where the ever strong and never scared Captain Elizabeth Masters cried out for help with genuine fear in her voice.

She hadn't come unprepared.

She'd come alone, as per their instructions, but she'd been there five hours early, watching.

Waiting.

Her breath had caught in her throat when the single figure had exited the black car, then had reached into the back and dragged her partner out by the hair.

It figured.

The person she'd be up against, the one they'd sent to kill her.

It would be him.

It was a good thing she'd had another hour before she was meant to arrive to get herself together. She'd needed it. Of all the people she'd suspected, of all the people she worked with and didn't trust..

.. He wasn't one of them.

So much for her instincts.

She could see him now, from where she hid in the shadows. She could see Elizabeth, too, sitting on the damp floor in the centre of the warehouse. Her hands were bound as were her feet and there was a cloth in her mouth acting as an effective gag.

The man standing beside her didn't look at all nervous, or at all regretful. He looked as cool and calm as ever, a small frown of annoyance creasing his brow as he glanced at his watch and realised she was 30 seconds late.

It would've been so easy to just shoot him and have it over with.

She couldn't do that, though. Not to him.

She couldn't shoot him in the front anymore than she could shoot him in the back.

It seemed cowardly on one hand and didn't seem like enough punishment on the other. A bullet would keep it clean and simple. It was an effective tool when dealing with faceless enemies when there were no feelings involved.

There were feelings here. A lot of them.

He deserved a lot more than a bullet in the chest.

He deserved everything she could throw at him.

Taking a deep breath, she decided to make her presence known. He'd probably already guessed that she was there.

He had taught her everything she knew, after all.

"I have the disks," she announced, stepping out of the shadows with her head held high and her gun trained on his chest. Directly aiming for his heart. Although she would prefer to keep him alive, to punish him by being responsible for putting him behind bars for the rest of his life, Sam knew he couldn't be trusted. Not after betraying her like this. She could never trust him or anyone again. "Let Liz go and I'll give you all I have."

"You don't look surprised to see me, Sam. I'm disappointed." Darren Locksley threw her a grin, unperturbed by her sudden presence or by the gun pointed at him. "Now is that really necessary?!

"All things considered, I'd say yes, it is." Taking a few more steps forward but being careful to maintain a healthy amount of distance between them, Sam cast her eyes briefly towards the dark haired woman on the floor.

"She's fine," Locksley answered casually, waving a hand to demonstrate his point. "She's been very cooperative, haven't you, Liz?"

The only response he got from the woman on the floor was a muffled sob. The only response he got from Sam was a heated glare as she ground her teeth.

There was a very good reason Elizabeth had been cooperative.

It stemmed from the fact she'd been living with him for three years.

"I want the disks and I want the hard drive from your both of your computers." All traces of amusement left his face. Locksley took a step forward, all but ignoring the woman by his feet. "I mean it, Sam, you have no idea who you're dealing with. This goes up further than you can imagine."

"You're underestimating how much I know," her voice was cool and calm when she replied. No traces of the anxiety building up inside her could be heard. "My hard drives stay where they are. You'll have to take my word that they're clean."

It was a bluff, a lie, and they both knew it.

"I get the hard drives or there is no deal," Locksley warned, reaching into his pocket for what Sam assumed was a gun. It wasn't. The blade of the knife glinted in the light of the singular bulb hanging from the ceiling above them.

"How am I supposed to explain that?" Sam countered, rolling her eyes derisively. "You know as well as I do I won't be able to do that without someone else finding out."

Locksley shrugged. "It isn't my problem. Say you had a virus or something, I'll cover for you."

"If you think I'm going to keep quiet about your involvement in this, you're wrong," she warned, trying to tune out the helpless weeping of the woman behind him. "I want you to resign, Darren. I won't let you stay with us knowing you're one of them."

"You have no say in the matter. We're making this deal on the understanding that you keep your mouth shut and forget everything you know about the NID." His eyes glittered as he ran a hand through his greying hair, the knife clutched in the hand he let hang at his side. "Now give me the disks and your word and I'll let you both go."

She wasn't fooled, not for a second. She knew him too well.

As soon as she handed over the disks that were burning a hole in the pocket of her jacket he'd kill them both. He would take care of her computers and any back up copies she had later but first he'd kill them. Probably slit her throat if he could get close enough, and then do the same with Liz. She knew him, knew his likes and dislikes. When Locksley killed someone he made it personal, made it intimate. He'd tried to train her into being the same way but Sam couldn't allow herself to form any sort of connection with her targets.

Unlike Locksley, she had a conscience. It was a difference she'd never noticed before but that now seemed important.

Locksley let himself get emotionally involved in his killings because he enjoyed it, because part of who he was fed off the ability to cause pain and suffering, to end a life with the flick of his wrist.

She didn't. She preferred to keep her distance, to stay professional. It was the only way she could sleep at night without wondering who would be grieving the life she'd taken. Her targets didn't have faces, they were shadows. Enemies. If she could avoid learning their names, she would. She didn't want to know, didn't want to remember who's lives she'd taken for the good of her country.

Locksley, she knew, would learn everything he could about those he was ordered to dispose of. He would memorise their faces, learn their names and the names of those close to them. On the few occasions it was mentioned in the press, he would tell anyone with clearance who would listen that the hit had been his. The triumph was his.

There was nothing triumphant in killing someone, nothing to celebrate.

"Let Liz go and I'll give you the disks," Sam countered, taking a step back when he moved closer. "There will be no deal until I know she's out of here safely."

For years afterwards, Sam would wonder if she could've handled it differently. If she could've done something to change the outcome of that night.

Locksley struck seconds before she anticipated he would make his move. His leg raised and he kicked the hand holding the gun, sending the weapon flying through the air before it landed with a clatter that echoed throughout the building.

She blocked the second blow he tried to deliver, managing to grab his arm before it got too close, warily eyeing the knife in his hand as she braced herself for his next attempt.

They fought for several minutes. Sam blocked each attempt he made at getting the knife closer to her flesh and eventually managed to successfully knock it from his grasp, kicking it from his reach just seconds before he landed a blow to her ribs, knocking her to the ground.

They were both breathing heavily, both aching and both bleeding from the mouth and nose respectively. It was hard to fight the person who'd taught you everything and hard to fight your best student when you'd taught them everything you knew.

The knife was nearer to her than it was to him, Locksley realised, muttering a curse under his breath.

Sam paused in wiping the blood from her mouth. Her eyes widened: the gun was within his reach.

Without hesitating, Locksley reached for it and grasped it in his hand.

There was nothing Sam could do, no way she could move across the floor in time to deflect the shot or to try and wrestle the gun away from him.

He'd fired before she was on her feet.

The crying stopped abruptly.

As blood gushed from the chest wound and spilt on to the floor, forming a red river, Sam charged. She knocked Locksley to the floor, kicking the gun away before hitting and kicking him for all she was worth. She'd pull him up, punch him and knock him down again. Kick him, then do the same thing.

Locksley tried to fight back but she had anger on her side.

"Don't.. you think.. you should see.. to Liz?"

His voice and the smug grin that accompanied it was the only reason she stopped.

Leaving him to curl up on the ground, Sam limped to where Elizabeth lay, picking up the gun and the knife on her way. She got down to her knees and removed the gag from her friends mouth.

Liz stared up at her with glassy eyes.

"No," Sam whispered, pulling her partner of four years into her lap, cradling her head even as blood poured from the wound in her chest. "Please, God, no. Not Liz. Not Liz."

She didn't know how long she'd sat there, how long she'd mourned. All she knew was that her best friend was dead and when she turned away, the man who'd murdered her, her mentor, was gone.

=*=

Eight years on and that night still played heavily on her mind. It was why she kept herself busy, why she forced herself to work so hard. Working kept her mind preoccupied so she couldn't dwell on it too much and it also meant she was moving just that little bit closer to getting justice and retribution for Elizabeth.

Although she worked primarily for the Air Force now in a position she loved, Sam could never forget her past and never would as long as he was still out there.

As long as the NID were still going strong.

When she'd joined the SGC, it had been solely for her at first. She'd wanted something different, wanted to get out from the shadier MIU. When she'd been reassigned, however, after the first two years of working on the program, she found herself dragged back into the Military Investigations Unit after suspecting that General West, her former Commanding Officer at the SGC, had ties with the NID.

Her decision to return to the SGC a year later was based partly on her desire to work on a project that would encompass both her scientific and military background but also partly because it gave her an opportunity to pursue the NID.

At the time of rejoining the program she'd had no idea of the future that lay in wait for her.

Nor could she have known that eight years on she would be sharing her bed with one of the men she suspected would help further her investigation and the thought of falling in love with her commanding officer had never crossed her mind.

She'd debated over telling him the truth about her past after their relationship had developed, but something had held her back. Although she was convinced he wasn't a part of the NID, she wasn't sure he didn't unwillingly work for him. The Special Forces team he had worked with had links to the NID but she wasn't sure if he was aware of who had been pulling the strings during those missions.

It wouldn't be something he would take lightly if he knew: the fact he had once worked for the people he considered to be the enemy or the fact she'd kept so much about herself hidden.

Even as she lay beside him in his bed.

His lips moved from her ear, along her jaw towards her mouth and it was all she could do to keep her own lips from twitching. She kept her own eyes closed, pushed all thoughts of her past out of her mind, allowing herself to give in to the sensations he was evoking within her.

It was only when his mouth covered hers that she let herself respond – and confirmed his suspicions that she was really awake. When the kiss ended, she opened her eyes and smiled lazily up at him, pushing aside the momentary twinge of guilt she felt on seeing the absolute trust and devotion in his gaze.

"Morning," Jack O'Neill leaned in for another kiss before rolling to his side, pulling her with him so that there positions were reversed.

"Good morning." For several languid moments, she let herself get swept away by memories of their time together, by the feel of his hands running soothingly down her back. Then she glanced away and noticed the clock on the bedside table, pushing away at the time it displayed. "We're going to be late for the briefing.."

"I don't mind if you don't." He drew her back in his arms when she tried to sit up, tightening his embrace and rolling her over when she tried to sit up. He kissed her temple and let his lips move to her ear. "We could stay here all day."

Laughing softly, Sam tried to disentangle herself. "It would be too much of a coincidence if we both called in sick."

"And..?" His mouth moved down her neck, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. "Your point is..?"

"My point," she murmured, taking hold of his shoulders and drawing his face back up to hers, "is that this is still very much against regulations, Jack."

He rolled his eyes, determined not to let the cloud hanging over them spoil any of the downtime they got to spend with each other and reluctantly moved to the side so she could sit up. He propped himself up on one elbow, watching unabashedly as she got out of bed and slipped one of his t-shirts on. "The President doesn't care if we're together. Why should anyone else?"

"You know as well as I do some of guys we work with would have a problem with it," Sam reminded him unnecessarily, gathering up some clothes on her way to the adjoining bathroom door. Not to mention the other team she was a part of outside of the SGC. "Teal'c and Daniel don't have a problem but if anyone else found out about it, you know they'd complain about favouritism or something else that'll land us in trouble." She paused by the door, leaning against the frame as she looked back at him. "Are you going to join me or stay in bed forever?"

A wolfish grin crossed over his face in answer. He was just about to stand when the doorbell rang. And kept on ringing. A low-pitched growl erupted from his throat as the ringing continued and he reached out for a pair of pants to pull on.

"Stay right there," he told her, throwing her a glance over his shoulder that made her feel sorry for whoever had disturbed them.

She didn't know what it was that drove her to follow him out of the room. She watched walk down the stairs and followed, stopping halfway. She heard him open the door, heard the low murmur of voices and went down a few more steps until she could hear everything perfectly.

=*=

"Colonel O'Neill, long time no see." The man standing on the doorstep smiled at him even as Jack's blood ran cold.

"What do you want?" He demanded, taking a step closer and lowering his voice, fighting the urge to glance back over his shoulder and make sure Sam wasn't within earshot. "I told you I want nothing more to do.."

"One final assignment, Colonel, that's all we want." The man wasn't intimidated by him in the slightest. He reached into his jacket, grinning when Jack tensed, and pulled out a non-descript manila folder. "We have ways of making your life very uncomfortable if you refuse."

"I'm aware of that," Jack muttered, reluctantly taking the envelope from him. He made no move to open it, just tucked it under his arm and continued to stare at the man standing opposite him. "So what is it? What do you want me to do?"

The man shrugged, his eyes concealed by the black sunglasses he wore. "A simple assignation. You'll find all the information you need in there, along with details of where to find your target. Don't mess this up, Colonel, or you will regret it."

"Do I at least get a name?" Jack asked, calling out the question as the man turned and started walking away from the door. "I know you guys, it won't be included in here."

"Codename Phoenix," the man responded, his quiet voice carrying up the path towards the house. "That's all you need, Colonel. We'll be in touch once the job is done."

Jack watched him get into the car and drive away. He took the envelope in his hand and stared at it suspiciously through narrowed eyes. Shaking himself mentally, he turned and went inside, closing the door securely behind him. He left the envelope on the bottom stair and forced himself to put the contents of it out of his mind, concentrating instead on the woman waiting for him upstairs.

It was just a job, he repeated mentally. And as soon as it was over, as soon as they got back in touch, he'd make it clear to them it was the last one. He didn't care what they tried to threaten him with if they decided not to let him go so easily. For the first time in a long time he could see a future for himself and he wasn't letting anyone or anything, especially people from his past, screw it up for him.

"It was just the paperboy," he began, hating to lie but knowing there was no choice. "He wanted to know where.." His voice trailed off as he made it inside his bedroom, glancing around when there was no sight or sound of her. "Sam?"

Moving through the room, he noticed her clothes and her shoes were missing from where they'd been left haphazardly on the floor the night before. He walked into the bathroom, expecting to find her in there but instead finding no one.

Nothing.

Walking back through to the bedroom, he shivered in the breeze that swept through the room, his gaze travelling slowly to the point of origin.

His bedroom window was wide open, the curtain flapping in the breeze.

=*=

/part one

=*=

She ran all the way home, sometimes using short cuts, sometimes using the longer route just to avoid the chance of being seen. Halfway across town she'd kicked off her shoes and gone barefoot – god knows where her pumps were or if she'd ever find them again but Sam couldn't bring herself to care.

The voice she'd heard was running through her head, almost drowning out her racing heart but not quite.

Him. Locksley.

At Jack's house.

They obviously knew each other; she'd heard enough of their conversation to gather that they'd worked together in the past. That fact alone was enough to make her blood run cold, to make her doubt whether her instincts were working with her or against her.

Again.

She'd trusted them once, trusted him. And as repayment he'd killed her best friend.

The thought of the man she loved and the man she hated knowing each other, the thought of them working together.. It made her feel sick. Dizzy. Her whole world had been knocked off balance because she'd managed to convince herself her lover was innocent.

Yeah right.

She knew better than anyone the things Jack had done and been through on various covert and black ops missions. She'd read the reports, after all, once she'd found out he'd gone through to Abydos. Read them again when it became clear she'd be working with him at the SGC. The things he'd done.. They hadn't been pleasant but she'd managed to put them out of her mind, convinced herself he'd been following orders and that was that.

It was rarely that clean cut, never that simple. It wasn't a matter of black and white, with black being her enemy and white being her allies. She'd learnt that the hard way. There were too many people who fit neither category, too many who slid into the shadowy area in between and there were so many different shades of grey, too.

She shouldn't have let herself trust him, shouldn't have believed he was a good guy.

But she'd wanted to. Almost desperately so.

The thought crossed her mind that maybe Locksley and Jack were more alike than she'd imagined, that maybe just maybe Jack had enjoyed following orders as much as Locksley had and her stomach lurched.

She barely made it to the bushes at the side of the path she was running along before the contents of her stomach decided to make a reappearance.

No. She straightened when she was confident she could move without causing the nausea to return and wiped her mouth, her brow furrowed in disgust as well as thought. No. She would've known if he enjoyed killing. God knows she'd known him long enough, seen him kill countless Jaffa and other mutual enemies in battle. He didn't enjoy it, just like she didn't. It was just a job, just something they had to do.

Thank God. That would've been too much to try and cope with.

Sam glanced over her shoulder, her eyes narrowing as her gaze flittered over her surroundings.

Nothing.

The streets were as quiet as they should be given the time and the black car she'd seen parked outside Jack's house was nowhere in sight.

So. Either Locksley hadn't known she was there or wasn't interested in following her.

She was willing to bet all she had it was the former choice.

Deciding to carry on towards her house since she was almost halfway there anyway, Sam jogged at a more leisurely pace, using the momentarily peace and quiet to try and get her jumbled thoughts in some sort of order.

Jack knew Locksley. Locksley knew Jack.

They'd worked together, and when she thought about it in a calmer, more rational mood, she realised it wasn't such a surprise. After all, they'd been part of the same team on at least two missions she was aware of. Black ops missions. So.. It was possible Jack's mission was nothing to do with her, nothing to do with the NID. It could just be a black ops mission her team hadn't alerted her to yet. Maybe there was a message waiting for her at home, coded on her answering machine..

.. Or maybe, she thought with a sigh, it was a covert assignment from the NID that they were passing onto Jack. If it was NID business, it didn't mean Jack was aware of who he was working for. If he'd worked as part of Locksley's team before, it was possible he thought he was doing another covert mission for the government.

For the government he supported. Not the NID he abhorred.

The thought of him willingly working for the National Intelligence Division was enough to make her slow down again. It didn't make sense, didn't fit what she knew about the man. Colonel O'Neill hated them, and they hated him. He'd helped uncover too many of their missions for it to be a cover up of his true alliance. Harry Maybourne had trusted him, too, and if that was just an act then the former Colonel had definitely taken it a step further than Sam would've expected since he'd left his life on Earth behind completely.

No. Jack wasn't NID. Colonel O'Neill was an Air Force Colonel with a slightly shady background but he wasn't one of them.

He couldn't be. If he was, he'd know who she was. And he'd either have said something or done something.

If he was NID, he'd want her dead and he'd had plenty of opportunities over the years to kill her and make it look like an accident. Besides, he was the NID's enemy just as much as they were his. They'd even to.. No.

Don't go there.

The possibility sent a shiver down her spine but at the same time reassured her that her initial instincts to trust him had been right.

Until now.

She'd heard enough of the conversation to know what his mission was. To know who he'd been assigned to assassinate. The problem facing her was how to stop him without blowing her cover.

How to stop him without ending up dead.

=*=

There were three messages on her answering machine, one warning her that Locksley had slunk out from behind whatever rock he'd been hiding behind and two from Jack, the first demanding to know why she'd left without saying goodbye – and out of the window when he had a perfectly good door – and the second asking her to call him just to let him know she was okay.

She didn't return the call though she did feel slightly guilty for it.

Somehow, she managed to avoid seeing him at all before the briefing. She left earlier than she would usually and called General Hammond, alerting them to the fact there was a situation she needed to discuss with him. Fortunately for her, the General had met her in the parking lot of the SGC and escorted her from her car to the briefing room, giving Jack no chance to confront her had he come across her making her way to the room.

She'd ignored his attempts at getting her attention, pretending all of her attention was focused on Daniel Jackson as the archaeologist listed the many, many, many reasons he had for SG-1 going to investigate further on a planet SG-7 had visited a few days previously. If she'd been asked after the briefing what planet he was talking about or given the option of listing three of the twenty-seven reasons he'd given for why they should go she would have been found out.

Thankfully no one asked.

As soon as the briefing was over, General Hammond whisked her away into his office, much to the confusion and concern of her teammates.

"Start from the beginning and tell me everything," General Hammond told her sternly, resting his hands on the desk in front of him as he leaned back in his chair. He'd known for some time what her background was but nevertheless had been surprised to get a phone call from her that morning declaring her life was in danger – and from someone she worked with. "I gather this is to do with your role with the MIU."

"Yes, primarily to do with my on-going investigation into the actions of the NID," Sam answered, having decided to be completely honest with her Commanding Officer even though she was yet to gain full clearance from her line manager in the MIU. Getting clearance would take time and time was something they didn't have. Not if they wanted to emerge as the victorious party, anyway. She hesitated for a second and briefly wondered how to explain how she'd come to know what she did. "You'll recall from the first report I was allowed to copy you in on that when I first was assigned here the MIU suspected Colonel O'Neill of having ties with the NID."

"I remember," the expression on his face matched the curt tone of his voice. He hadn't been pleased to find out an officer under his command had been under suspicion of being an NID operative – let alone having been told that another office under his command was investigating. "If I recall correctly you yourself investigated and reported that those claims were 'unsubstantiated and improbable'."

Sam nodded and exhaled slowly. "At the time I thought they were. New information has since come to light." She put her hand up to prevent the protests she knew were coming, forcing herself to ignore the dull ache inside at knowing the fury colouring his face was aimed at her. She respected him, cared for him, she didn't want to let him down but she knew she was. "That's not what I came to talk to you about, Sir. We can hopefully resolve that matter later and later I'll try to explain how I came about the information I have but like I said this morning my life is now in danger. Darren Locksley, a known agent for the NID, approached Colonel O'Neill first thing this morning. He gave the Colonel orders to assassinate a MIU agent working under the code name Phoenix."

"You," General Hammond guessed, his anger subsiding into surprise.

"Yes, me. I doubt Colonel O'Neil knows who his intended mark is but the fact remains that he has been ordered to kill me by the NID." Sam crossed her hands in her lap to keep from fidgeting. "I need your help to keep the other members of SG-1 occupied until I can report back to my team and figure out a solution to keep the Colonel from killing me and the NID from killing the Colonel."

"We could always prevent that from happening by telling SG-1 and warning the Colonel of the situation," General Hammond suggested optimistically. He knew there'd be an explanation behind the orders Colonel O'Neill had apparently received and also knew telling the Colonel who his target was would make a big difference in his decision whether or not to go ahead with his assignment.

"I'm sorry, Sir, I can't let them know. We're too close to exposing the NID to risk ruining everything by blowing my cover. I don't even have clearance to tell you but I need your help so I'm bending the rules a little."

General Hammond leaned back in his chair and spoke when she paused to draw in another breath. "I'm willing to offer a compromise. SG-7 share Doctor Jackson's desire to return to p8x737. I could assign Teal'c and Doctor Jackson temporarily to SG-7, taking them out of the picture and giving you time to conclude your investigation."

"And what about Colonel O'Neill?" Sitting up straighter in her seat, Sam's eyes narrowed as she stared at him. She didn't like the direction the conversation was taking. "If you're asking me to tell him what I know.."

"I'm not asking, I'm telling. That's the condition, Major." The General's expression was stern. "Colonel O'Neill is involved in this. He deserves to know who is behind the orders he received this morning and quite frankly I think it's time he knew the truth about your real reason for being here."

The mistrust, the accusation in his voice hurt her more than she cared to admit. "I'm here because I want to be. I took this assignment because I wanted it, not because I had to in order to further my investigation."

"I'm aware of that, Major, if I thought for one minute you didn't want to be here I'd have had you assigned a long time ago." General Hammond's expression softened slightly. "It would make it easier for you if you could tell someone else about the situation. Colonel O'Neill had unwittingly helped you by exposing the NID's Stargate operation and by linking the organisation to Colonel Makepeace and Senator Kinsey. He could help you find the information you need to expose them once and for all."

"I appreciate that, Sir, and I've considered bringing him into it more than once but I can't. I'd need to get approval from the MIU for one thing and they're very cautious about bringing in insiders. I've been working for them since I graduated from the Academy, I know how paranoid they can be." The depreciating smile was directed at herself as well as the agency she worked for. It faded under his scrutiny, though, and she shifted in her seat. "For another thing I know bringing him in on this would be dangerous. Like it or not he does have ties to the NID and he isn't going to be happy when he finds out. All it would take is for him to try going after them himself or for him to confront Kinsey for them to decide he's too much of a threat and try to kill him again."

"Again?" It was one word, one word that slipped out of her mouth in the heat of the moment, one she regretted instantly but one he immediately picked up on. "The NID have tried to assassinate Colonel O'Neill?"

Lowering her gaze, Sam swore at herself internally. Of all the mistakes she could've made. "There have been one or two instances in the past where my team received intelligence reports that Colonel O'Neill's life may have been in danger. Those reports may have been exaggerated and if not, were obviously prevented."

General Hammond searched his mind and didn't like the red flags that her words had caused. "Would I be right in assuming that on those occasions it may have been coincidental that you asked me to call a briefing to discuss your latest findings or advancements in understanding the alien technology you've been studying?"

"If I've asked you to call a briefing that would result in the Colonel being preoccupied for a matter of hours on strange occasions, followed by perhaps going AWOL from my lab albeit unnoticed for the most part then yes, I would say it's very coincidental, yes." She met his gaze evenly, pushing aside the memory of one cold, dark night before Christmas when she'd sat in her car outside the Colonel's house for six hours while waiting for his would-be assassin to show up.

It hadn't been a pleasant night, though nights where she got no sleep rarely were. It'd taken an hour after she'd subdued him for her back up to arrive and she'd spent the following morning questioning the NID agent before exchanging the MIU holding cell for a briefing with SG-1.

"I wasn't aware of that." General Hammond replied slowly, his eyes studying her as though it were the first time they'd met.

"If you were it would mean I wasn't doing my job properly," came the instant reply. She allowed herself to relax slightly at the warmer look that came into his eyes. "The point is, General, I've lost people to the NID before. Colleagues and friends. I'm going to take them down before they can take anyone else from me. That includes the members of SG-1, Cassandra, my family, even you. If they knew how close I was they'd try anything to stop me."

"All the more reason to make Colonel O'Neill aware of the situation so you're not trying to complete your investigation as well as trying to protect us." General Hammond gave her a stern glance and she knew the conversation was effectively over.

She could sit there and argue until she ran out of things to say but she knew him. General Hammond was not the type of man to back down, especially not when he thought he was right about something.

"Doctor Jackson and Teal'c will leave with SG-7 at 1300 hours. I will expect you to brief Colonel O'Neill on the situation yourself either by or at that time." He leaned forward in his chair, picking up a pen and opening a file. "You are dismissed, Major."

He left her with no choice but to get out of her seat and leave. Taking a deep breath, Sam hesitated before slipping out of the room, half expecting the Colonel to be waiting for her outside but relieved to find he wasn't there.

She couldn't hide from him forever, though, and with that thought in mind, she started towards her lab, knowing she'd get no work done that morning. She was going to be too busy trying to figure out what to say to Jack when he came looking for answers.

=*=

Hiding in her lab was nothing new. She'd perfected the art of avoiding people in her first year at the SGC. All she had to do was turn on the lights and shut the door. And if anyone were brave enough to intrude after that, she'd keep her head bent over whatever she working on and answer their questions with distracted 'hmms' until they got the picture and left her to it.

Unfortunately, her friends had wised to her methods.

Daniel and Janet had been the first to ignore her when she was in one of her avoidance moods, patiently sitting opposite sipping their coffee until the weight of their gazes resting on her distracted her from what she was doing.

Teal'c was subtler. He'd simply stand in the doorway and wait to be acknowledged. She'd found out the hard way that he was a very patient man and would wait for as long as necessary. The longest she'd ever been able to make him stand there unacknowledged was fifty-seven minutes exactly. Then she'd given in, invited him to sit down and poured out as many of her troubles as she could.

There were some things she couldn't tell him, couldn't tell any of them. Things she couldn't say to any of them until now.

Colonel O'Neill – Jack – was usually the loudest, the hardest to ignore. Especially with the shift in their relationship. Even before that he'd been difficult to ignore. He'd walk into the lab whistling, sit down, make small talk for ten minutes or so and then start fidgeting with whatever he could get his hands on until she was forced to speak to him in order to rescue the object he was playing with from otherwise inevitable doom.

Recently, he hadn't needed to do that. She'd let herself get caught up in the excitement of their relationship, in the newness of it. In the danger at being caught. They hadn't done anything that could be construed as breaking the regulations on base – she had never let that happen – but he'd sit opposite her with that look on his face. The knowing grin. The hidden warmth in his eyes, reminding her of the times they had broken regulations. The times she'd enjoyed it, hadn't felt guilty.

Had been able to forget everything else and take shelter in his arms.

That'd been her mistake and she hoped it wouldn't be a fatal one. She should never have let herself get so close, get so involved. It was dangerous in a lot of ways, but especially with him. It was against regulations and her career with the Air Force meant so much. Had meant so much. Time and circumstance had changed her views on that. And then there was her career with the MIU, the past she couldn't tell him about. The career he was linked to even though he didn't know it.

Yet.

'Yet' was the key word.

She had no choice but to tell him and what would happen then? How would he react? And once he knew, once it was over – if she was still alive – she'd have to tell Daniel and Teal'c, too. How would they react? She might be able to get out of MIU once and for all but in doing so would she have to turn her back on her career at the SGC too?

She didn't know what was going to happen. Had no way of predicting the thoughts and feelings of one very unpredictable man.

A man who was standing in the doorway, his gaze burning a hole in her back.

She didn't need to look to know he was there. She just knew he was.

"Daniel and Teal'c left with SG-7 five minutes ago. Hammond said you'd be able to tell me why."

Sam swallowed hard and turned on her stool. The expression on his face was carefully guarded, reminding her more of the Colonel O'Neill she'd first met eight years ago than the one she shared her bed with.

"We should go somewhere quiet," she murmured, getting up and avoiding his gaze. "You're not going to like what I have to say."

=*=

/part two

=*=

They walked together through the corridors, exchanging polite smiles with the people they passed on the way. Sam didn't know where she was leading him so was as surprised as he was when they ended up outside her quarters. It was the only place she could think of that they could talk undisturbed – and the only place she could think of on base where he wouldn't be able to make too much of a scene.

She checked the corridor both ways before opening the door and motioning him inside, checking again before following him in. She took her time in closing the door behind them, taking a deep breath to calm herself before turning towards him and opening her mouth, having no idea of what she was going to say but knowing she needed to keep control of the conversation.

Too late.

His hands were in his pockets, his expression suspicious, his gaze accusing. He spoke before she had a chance at getting her brain to tell her mouth to say something. "You want to tell me why two members of my team were sent off-world without consulting me? Or did you take over and forget to let me know?"

"I can explain everything, Sir." Her shoulders tensed and she forced herself to hold her head up under his scrutiny. "But you're going to have to give me the chance."

"I'll give you one chance, Carter, before I take this to Hammond again." His expression didn't alter, his tone of voice as cool as it had been since he'd entered her lab. "He said I owed you that much but personally I don't see how."

Taking a deep breath, Sam fought the urge to close her eyes and decided to just tell him. There was no way of sugar coating it, no way she could make it seem like less of a betrayal. But she might as well start with a positive and work her way from there. "He was probably referring to the fact I've saved your life more than once due to the responsibilities I carry from the MIU."

The look on his face would have been comical under any other circumstance.

Shock, surprise and disbelief had him gaping at her like a goldfish trapped in a bowl.

"I've worked for the MIU since I graduated from the Academy," Sam started to explain, taking advantage of his stunned reaction to get as many words out as possible before he interrupted with questions and protests. "It was little things at first to fit in around my career with the Air Force, computer hacking, tracing information, tracking other operatives.. During the war I was enlisted as a part-time MIU operative and I spent some time investigating the activities of various government and military associated groups. Because of my work then I was promoted to the IAID and worked for the MIU full-time after it was explained to my superiors in the AF."

"Hold up." Jack held up a hand and stared at her, slowly sitting on the bed and tilting his head to the side. "That's a lot of letters, Carter. MIU? IAID?"

"The MIU is the Military Investigations Unit," she gave him a tolerant smile, relieved to find the rancour had all but disappeared from his gaze. "It's basically an agency created by the government consisting of various military officers from all sectors such as Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines to investigate the on-goings of various government operations and military projects to check everything's running by the book and to take care of things if they aren't. The IAID is the Internal Agency Investigation Division, the section that investigates individual organisations when they're suspected of being a drain on government resources or when it's suspected they're actually working for someone else against the rest of us."

"So the MIU is like the NID?" The distrust was back in his eyes and a faintly disgusted expression arranged his features.

She swallowed a sigh and told herself it was a good thing he appeared to be disgusted at the thought. At least it meant he wasn't NID, not consciously. How he was going to react when he found out he had actually worked for them more than once she didn't want to guess. "The MIU and the NID are nothing alike." Although she tried, she couldn't keep the edge from her voice. "Through my work at the MIU I investigate the NID. We've been trying to get enough evidence against them to get them closed down for good, and to have as many of the NID agents we know of taken in for questioning."

"Right." He schooled his features into a neutral expression though his gaze was still wary. "So are you here to investigate the SGC as well and what's it all got to do with me?"

"I.. No." She bit down on her lip and clasped her hands in front of her. "I chose this assignment because I wanted to work here, not because of the MIU. I do love it here, I would be stupid if I didn't but I won't lie and say it hasn't helped me to progress further in my investigation into NID activities. You've helped me yourself by exposing the off-world project and tying Makepeace and Kinsey to them. I just need to find some concrete proof that isn't going to disappear when I try to confront them and my job'll be done. Then maybe I can retire once and for all from all MIU activities."

He nodded slowly, digesting her words. "I'm still waiting to hear how I'm involved in this, Carter."

Taking a deep breath, Sam exhaled slowly and wandered across the room, pacing as much as the small space would allow. "You're not going to like this, Jack. The NID have been using your past to get you to carry out various assignments on their behalf, making you believe you're following orders on a regular black ops or covert mission approved by the government. They've suspected you were getting close to figuring it out once or twice because of your determination to expose them and that's when they've assigned someone to assassinate you."

His face changed colour. At first it went pale, then it slowly darkened before setting on a dark red flush. She watched his fists clench and resisted the urge to reach out and lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. He wouldn't appreciate it. Nor would he appreciate the sympathy she was trying to conceal. "In case it's escaped your attention, Carter, I'm very much alive so.. Why should I believe that they've tried to assassinate me or that I've been working for them just because you say so? For all I know the MIU is just as bad as they are."

The accusation hurt but not as much as the betrayed look that briefly passed over his face. "You're alive because myself or a member of my team has prevented their attempts. I could detail three occasions where I've personally taken out your would-be assassin. The MIU are good people, Jack. The NID.. You know as well as I do what they're capable of."

"You still haven't convinced me I've worked for them or helped them in anyway." Jack responded calmly though she could tell by the way his knuckles whitened that he wasn't as calm as he wanted her to believe.

"The man who came to your house this morning." Her spine stiffened when he looked up at her, his eyes locking with hers. "His name is Darren Locksley and he was MIU. He was my mentor, he taught me everything I know. Until eight years ago he was someone I respected and admired. Someone I cared about. Then I discovered he worked for the NID and was using the MIU to track down our progress in investigating them, to sabotage our efforts whenever possible. I confronted him and the consequences weren't pretty. I don't know if he knew I was there this morning but I know he'd have got a kick out of it if he had."

"Why?" His face was returning to its normal colour, his gaze more curious than suspicious. "What have you and your past with him got to do with him coming to my house this morning?"

"You were given orders to take out an MIU operative, Jack." She held his gaze, letting her arms drop to her side. "I heard everything. You were given a codename instead of a name, codename Phoenix. He would've got a kick out of knowing I was there, Jack, because he basically gave you orders to kill me."

The dumbfounded expression was back, as was his imitation of a goldfish. Several moments passed before she realised it was going to take some time for him to regain his composure.

"Your reaction proves what I've been reporting back to my team that you didn't know about me and didn't know you were working for the NID." The relief outweighed the satisfaction she had at being right. "I know this is hard for you but General Hammond said it was time we should let you know, especially since I'm going to need your help and your cooperation."

"My cooperation?" He repeated it with a raised eyebrow, his confusion written all over his face. "You want my cooperation?"

"Yes, Sir," she answered quickly, resuming her pacing and missing the look that flittered across his face as she reverted to the Sam Carter of old. The one who wasn't sharing his bed, the one who still didn't let herself use his given name. "The NID will be watching you to make sure you do what they've told you. If you don't, they'll kill us both. I'll need your help to stage my assassination, to make them believe I'm really dead so I can hopefully wrap up my investigation and finally put an end to the NID." She turned slightly, caught the look of horror on his face and managed a small smile. "You won't really be killing me, Jack, it'll just look that way. It's the only way we can get their attention away from us both."

"I might not actually be killing you but they'll think I did. Everyone else.. They'll have to be told you're dead."

Sam shrugged and let her hands join behind her back, unwittingly standing at attention. "Daniel and Teal'c will be occupied for the next two weeks. I've called Cassandra and she'll be staying in New York for the next month and knows not to believe everything she hears and not to believe anything about me unless it comes straight from you or General Hammond. My father's God-knows-where, they're not going to be watching my brother because Locksley knows we're not close and the only other people who'd miss me are you and General Hammond. And since you know I'm not dead, just pretending to be, it'll be okay. No one's going to get hurt."

"You will if they find out you're still alive." He stood up, either because he couldn't sit still any longer or to stop her from being able to pace across the small room. "I need to think about this, Carter."

"You haven't got time to think about it," the argument left her lips before her mind had had a chance to warn her arguing with him wasn't the wisest thing to do. "They've given you a time limit, Jack. I don't know if you've read the information they gave you but they mapped out a time and a place. Tomorrow night. You know those friends I said I was meeting tomorrow night? They're members of my team. We have an unofficial debriefing scheduled to take place in the back room of the bar on West Colorado Avenue. It's scheduled to end at ten-thirty. If you've read the information Locksley gave you, you'll know that's where you're supposed to be. You're supposed to be in the parking lot waiting for me to exit the building and you're supposed to kill me with a single bullet to the heart in front of the other members of my team so it's something they have to live with. So it's something they'll never forget seeing."

"You know a lot of detail about a file I haven't even looked at." Jack muttered, staring at her with solemn eyes. He hadn't imagined the colour drain from her face, hadn't missed the way she swallowed nervously after making her impassioned speech. "How do you know exactly how it is they want me to do it?"

"I know Locksley." She answered with a shrug and turned away, wrapping her arms around herself as she sunk down on the small bed. "I wasn't exaggerating when I said he was my mentor. He taught me most of what I know and I know him very well. I know he likes making it personal, I know he likes making it hurt not only the person he was assigned to take out but he also enjoys inflicting whatever he can on the people around his target. He hates me. I blew his cover. Can you think of a better way for me to die than to be around the people I've been working with for twenty years? To be killed by you? I don't know if he knows about us, if he does I'm surprised the NID haven't made an issue of it but it could be because of this. Because of their plans. Maybe he wants you to kill me because he knows that makes it a hundred times worse or maybe they see using you as a convenient way to stop us both from being threats to their precious organisation."

"What did he do to you?" He softened his voice but made no move to get closer, no move to comfort her. He gave her a one-shouldered shrug when she looked up. "I'm not saying I'm okay with this, I still need to think about everything. But this guy, Locksley, he hurt you, didn't he?"

"Probably not in the way you're thinking," Sam answered immediately, recognising the glint in his eye and needing to put that one fear to rest – it was the least she could do, after all. "I don't make a habit of getting involved with the people I work with. This.. You're the first person I've worked with who I've become personally involved with, too. Locksley.. Darren was a very good friend of mine, partly because he was my trainer and partly because he was dating my partner. They were living together, had just gotten engaged.. When I found out about him he took her hostage. He'd been using her the whole time to keep track of what we knew. He said he'd kill her if I didn't bring him all of the information I had."

She couldn't help but remember that night perfectly. Relive the whole devastating event.

"I agreed to meet him, took along copies of what I had. I knew he was going to kill us both but I hoped I'd be able to change his mind or take him out before he got the chance. I was wrong." She shrugged her shoulders, stared down at her hands. "We started fighting. I lost my gun, he lost his knife. I fought harder than I've ever fought in my life but it wasn't good enough. I eventually got the knife but he.. He was closer to the gun. He shot her. I attacked before he could shoot me too. I thought I'd secured him and turned my attention to Liz but there was nothing I could do. I don't know why he didn't kill me when he had the chance, probably because he knew back up was on the way but he left us alone. Liz died in my arms, a bullet wound to her heart." She lifted her face and met his gaze. "I know how he wants you to kill me, Jack, because I saw him use the same method on her."

He swallowed once, then nodded and put his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for her. Although he wanted to be the one to offer comfort he couldn't. Not now. Not with so many thoughts running riot in his head.

Sam sighed and rubbed a hand over her eyes. Her shoulders slumped, her energy drained. "Why don't you go and think about it. I'll need to know by tomorrow lunchtime if you're going to help out."

Jack nodded again although he knew she wasn't looking at him and silently let himself out, slipping into the corridor after instinctively checking both ways to make sure there was no one around. Sinking down into her bed, her head resting on her hands, Sam tried to control her breathing, inhaling slowly and deeply, telling herself it would all work out.

And if it didn't.. Well.

She'd probably be dead.

=*=

A small part of her hoped he'd come back. That they'd talk more about it and he'd come to terms with what she'd told him.

He didn't.

She spent the afternoon sitting in her lab staring motionlessly at the bits and pieces on the worktop, wanting to do *something* but not knowing what. She could've got on with her work – there was certainly plenty of it to do – but she just didn't feel motivated.

She didn't feel much of anything.

It felt as though she was in a cloud, drifting through time and space without really being aware of what was going on. She only left her lab for her quarters when a technician on the graveyard shift gently reminded her General Hammond had requested her presence the following morning at 0800.

Just over seven hours away.

With heavy feet that seemed to drag and meant she had to put more effort than usual into walking, Sam slowly made her way to her quarters. She glanced up and down the corridor before slipping inside, half hoping him to be there.

Half expecting Daniel or Teal'c to show up and ask what was wrong.

But Daniel and Teal'c didn't come. They could hardly drop by for a midnight chat when they were light years away with SG-7.

And he didn't come. He was nowhere in sight.

With a tired sigh, she shut the door behind her and stumbled over to her bed. She felt exhausted, almost like she'd run a marathon or had to withstand an attack from a fleet of Anubis' soldiers. Not at all like she'd had her first serious argument with her partner.

It wasn't as if they hadn't argued and fought and disagreed before. That was what she told herself as she crawled under the thin comforter after kicking off her boots. She couldn't work up the energy to do much else.

She'd disagreed with him before but it had been different. They'd been colleagues, friends. Nothing more, nothing less. He'd been her commanding officer and she'd had to go along with what he said.

She didn't now.

Her past with the MIU ensured that they were on equal footing – or that she was one step ahead of him and that made her feel uncomfortable.

Who knew what Jack was feeling?

With a tired groan, Sam buried her face in the faintly scratchy material of the pillow and squeezed her eyes shut firmly.

She'd lied to him by not telling him. Betrayed him by holding onto her secret even after they'd evolved from colleagues to friends. Even after they'd evolved from friends to lovers. He wouldn't get over that easily. Not if he was the man she thought he was.

But..

.. It wasn't like she was the only one with secrets. Fair enough, she knew some of his – she'd found out quite a lot about him when she'd had to run a background check to clear his name from being linked with the NID – but he still had some she didn't know about.

Some she wasn't sure she *wanted* to know about.

And she had secrets. So what?

Was it different because she was the woman? Because she was supposed to be the less experienced officer, the one with a little more innocence than he had?

Well tough.

She wasn't the person he thought she was and if he couldn't accept the real her then.. then..

A growl burst fourth from her throat and the top pillow was forced to withstand the brunt of a mildly violent attack.

It landed on the other side of the room but Sam couldn't drag herself out of bed in order to fetch it.

Rolling over with a sigh, she lay on her back and stared unseeingly up at the ceiling. She didn't see the different shades of grey that decorated the plaster; she didn't see the slightly faded areas or the patches that had been recently repainted by maintenance in an attempt to refresh the décor.

Two hours later she fell into a restless sleep, her fears at the forefront of her mind, playing havoc with her unconsciousness.

At 0600 hours she woke up feeling as though she'd had no rest at all but grudgingly accepting that if the worst did happen, it would be her own doing.

Her own fault.

Jack might never be able to look her in the eyes again, their relationship might be over before it'd really had a chance to begin but that didn't matter.

Not really.

What mattered was getting justice for Liz.

What mattered was keeping Jack alive.

What mattered was ridding the world of the NID, no matter what the personal cost.

=*=

/part three

=*=

General Hammond looked as though he'd had a marginally better night than she had but not by much. Sam stood at attention in front of his desk, every muscle in her body tensed and on alert.

"At ease, Major," he said eventually, motioning to one of the two chairs she was standing beside. "Take a seat. I'm sure Colonel O'Neill will be here momentarily."

She did as he said – always following orders – and sat, letting her hands rest in her lap. "I wish I could be as confident, Sir. Colonel O'Neill wasn't exactly pleased when I spoke to him yesterday and I don't think he'll be feeling inclined to help out. With your permission I'd like to leave early so I can arrange something with the other members of my team."

"We'll see if Colonel O'Neill shows up," General Hammond stated decisively, giving her a look that told her he had more faith in the absentee than he did in her. "I assume you told him everything?"

"I probably told him more than I should have done," Sam responded tightly, her fingers curling into her palms. "General, there is something you need to be aware of. Something that will explain why Colonel O'Neill isn't going to turn up for this meeting and why I won't be staying with the SGC once this is over."

General Hammond looked up from the files he had been perusing, an eyebrow raised. "I don't think that will be necessary, Major. It may take Colonel O'Neill some time to get used to the idea but I'm sure it won't come to your leaving the programme.."

"It's more than that, Sir." Her fingernails bit into her palm. "Colonel O'Neill may be able to accept what I've done, what I am, on a professional level but not on a personal one. It's because of that that we won't be able to work together after this is over. He won't trust me anymore and eventually the team will begin to suffer because of it."

"Major Carter.. Are you implying that there is something between Colonel O'Neill and yourself on a personal level?" General Hammond leaned forward slightly, his brow furrowed. "Something that would cause me a great deal of trouble if I were to officially become aware of it?"

"Yes, Sir." She kept her head held up, fighting the instinct to lower her gaze and stare at her hands. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

General Hammond sighed and sat back in his chair, staring at her with cool, assessing eyes. "Would I be right in assuming this has been going on for a while? Without any detrimental effect to SG-1 or its other members?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Would I also be right in assuming that had this situation not occurred you wouldn't be sitting there telling me this?"

"Yes Sir?"

"And would it be fair to say that you and Colonel O'Neill thought very long and very hard before entering into this relationship? That you agreed to separate your working relationship and your personal relationship beforehand to prevent it from interfering with matters pertaining to this base?"

Sam nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Again, yes Sir. It wasn't something we entered into without discussing all of the possible outcomes. We were both aware of the risks but thought they were acceptable. We agreed that should the relationship come to a natural end we wouldn't let it interfere with our working relationship since that came first."

"Then I see no point in continuing this conversation any further," General Hammond decided, looking down at the open file on his desk momentarily before glancing up to look at her. "This situation may be the demise your personal relationship, Major, and I assure you I don't wish to know either way, but it will not be the demise of your professional one. SG-1 is the flagship team of the SGC. Yourself and Colonel O'Neill are valuable assets to this programme and I'd like to believe you're both mature, capable adults who will not let this matter become an issue professionally. End of discussion."

She didn't think it was but chose to stay silent for now. Hopefully there would be time later to argue with General Hammond over her future at the SGC. If she had a future at all. She would love to stay there, love to continue working – finally – on a project she chose than on one she was assigned to and although she was confident they could pretend there was nothing wrong between them – they'd had a lot of practise in pretending over the years – she wasn't sure she wanted to.

It would be hard working with him and trying not to remember the times they'd shared. It would be harder still to work at the SGC but not be a part of SG-1, to have to sit back and watch her teammates leave without her.

If they couldn't put it behind them then she'd have to leave. The MIU would have an opening for her for sure, although she suspected she'd still retire and go wherever the Air Force wanted to send her.

"Now," General Hammond's voice brought her back to the present and she looked up to find him staring at her. "In the event that Colonel O'Neill doesn't show up and refuses to go along with whatever plan you've concocted, what are you going to do about the NID's plan to assassinate you?"

Pleased the conversation was back on vaguely more comfortable ground, Sam sat up a little straighter in her chair and tried to relax her tense fingers. "Originally we'd planned for Colonel O'Neill to be the shooter as per the instructions of the NID. The plan was going to be that I'd be the first to leave the venue tonight, wearing a bullet proof vest, and that he would aim for my heart as stated in the details Locksley left with him. It would've been best to have Colonel O'Neill be there in person because I know Locksley will either be watching personally or he'll send someone there. As the Colonel is evidently not going to take part in the set-up, I'll need to arrange for someone else to take his place. Preferably someone of a similar height and build so the NID won't know it isn't him."

"If they realise Colonel O'Neill isn't the shooter, what will they do?"

Sam sighed and let one shoulder rise and fall in a reluctant shrug. "If they find out he isn't following orders, they'll probably send someone to dispose of him. Then they'll try to prepare for the MIU and be ready to take me out as soon as I officially return from the dead. That's why I need to meet my team as soon as possible, General. If Colonel O'Neill isn't going to cooperate I need to put certain measures in place to protect both him and myself from the NID."

The door opened and Sam turned slightly in her chair to follow the General's gaze. She knew who it was even before she looked but couldn't quite believe he was there. "Maybe that won't be necessary," General Hammond murmured to her, even as he motioned to the other seat. "Please, take a seat, Colonel."

"Sorry I'm late, Sir." He didn't look very apologetic. In fact he didn't look at Sam at all. "So, what'd I miss?"

"Major Carter and I were discussing the plan of action for tonight." General Hammond gave her a pointed look, telling her to stay quiet. "Have you any thoughts to put forward on the matter?"

Jack shrugged but still wouldn't look at her. "I'll do what I have to do, just fill me in on the rest of the plan and I'll be there to help pull it off."

"You don't have any questions or queries?" General Hammond raised an eyebrow and stared at him hard. When the Colonel only shrugged again, he started to speak again. "Very well. I assume whatever questions you have can't be asked in my presence. Major Carter, will you please run through the planned events for tonight and then you can go and do what you need to."

"Thank you, Sir." Sam nodded in acknowledgment and took a deep, calming breath before continuing. "At 1900 hours my team will arrive at the agreed venue on West Colorado Avenue. We'll go in and debrief, ending the meeting at 2100 hours. At 2200 hours we will start to leave. I'll be first out after saying our goodbyes inside. I'll start towards my car on the far side of the parking lot. Colonel O'Neill will be stationed several metres from my vehicle concealed by a white van you'll find is there before you are, Sir. I'll start to get into my car but pause, as though I've heard something, at which point I'll turn towards you and that's when you fire. The bullet will be stopped by the vest I'll be wearing but will pierce the external lining. Inside that lining will be animal blood, which will lend to the authenticity of the scene. My teammates will come over while you take your leave. I've told them to allow you a five-minute start before looking for you. It's all they can afford without alerting Locksley or anyone else from the NID to the fact we're prepared for the attempt on my life."

"Sounds like you've thought it through though I don't know why that surprises me." Jack turned his head then, looking at her. His eyes were guarded, showing nothing of what he felt. Giving her no hope. "What'll happen to you after I'm gone?"

"It's all taken care of, Colonel, you don't need to bother yourself with the details." She sat a little straighter in her chair under his scrutiny, her back stiffening.

"I might not need to know but I want to. It involves me as much as it does you." For a moment she allowed herself to believe it was because he cared. A moment was all she got as he continued speaking. "My life's on the line if you guys screw it up and the NID realises it's a scam."

Her eyes stared straight ahead, focusing on a point on the wall just to the side of General Hammond's curious expression. "It'll look like an ambulance has been called when in fact it'll be an MIU team waiting a few blocks away. All radio contact with the ambulance will be done on open lines so the NID are under the impression it is a genuine call to 911. It'll be announced over the radio that I died on the way to the hospital. A dummy will be removed from the ambulance in place of my body in case we're followed and we'll wait in the ambulance in the parking lot under the hospital until we get the all clear signal before heading to a temporary MIU base established for the purpose of this operation. I'll work there with the other members of my team over the course of the next week or so gathering all the data we can on the NID that will be delivered to the President, the Joint Chiefs and selected members of the press to ensure that they can't get away with it this time. Then I'll become officially undead in time for the arrests and questioning of various NID operatives, getting as much information as we can from them in order to take out everyone else involved."

"Very thorough," General Hammond commented, his tone on the verge of being complimentary. "I don't suppose there's anything more to discuss so good luck, Major, and I look forward to your briefing once this is all over."

"Thank you, Sir." Sensing that a truce of some sorts had been struck, Sam allowed herself to match the warm look in his eyes with a small smile and stood when he did.

"If you'll excuse me, I have a briefing with SG-9 I need to prepare for." General Hammond ushered them towards the door, silently noting the tension between them. "You're both on downtime for the remainder of the day. I suggest you use the time wisely to resolve any outstanding issues before this evening."

He closed the door behind them before either had a chance to comment. Sam sighed softly and started down the corridor towards the elevators, barely realising Jack was following her until he stepped in and pressed the button for level 25 first and stood in the way of her pressing any of the other buttons.

"You told Hammond about us." It was more of a statement than a question but Sam couldn't hold her tongue and stop herself from responding.

"He doesn't know anything officially," she said stiffly, standing with her back ramrod straight as she waited for the elevator to reach the right level. "I thought he had a right to know why SG-1 probably won't be working together after this is over."

"Shouldn't we have discussed that first?" The elevator stopped and the door opened. He stood over the threshold, waiting for her get out. Giving her no chance to go to level 11 so she could ride to the surface. "We have things to talk about, Carter. Like the General said, we need to resolve whatever issues we have before it happens."

"Fine. Whatever." She stalked passed him and started down the corridor. "Make it quick."

She slowed down as they approached her quarters and opened the door, slipping inside without checking to see if there was anyone watching – and without waiting to see if he was following her in.

The sound of the door shutting behind her told her he was.

"You told Hammond we were sleeping together," was the first thing that left his mouth. He didn't sound angry but he didn't sound happy either.

Sam shrugged and sat down on her bed, letting her head fall forward to rest in her hands. "He didn't want to know the details if that's what you're worried about. He didn't really seem to care. He just wants us to resolve whatever issues we have so SG-1 can get back to work as normal when this is all over."

"Is that even possible?" The bed dipped as he sat down beside her, jostling her so their shoulders brushed for one brief moment but she didn't react in the way he'd hoped. She didn't look at him. "Can things go back to the way they were?"

"You tell me." Her voice was muffled, her eyes tightly closed. "Decide whether you want them to go back to the way they were before you found out about the MIU or decide whether you want them to go back to the way it was before we happened. Then let me know when I get back. You'll have a week, maybe longer. That should be enough time for you to think it through."

Jack clasped his hands and stared down at them. "It isn't just my decision, Carter. You'll have to do some thinking, too."

"Not as much," she admitted wearily. "I entered into this relationship knowing everything you do now. Nothing's changed for me. Well, not a lot anyway."

There was nothing he could say to that, knowing she was telling the truth. He let silence fall over them, trying to get his thoughts into some sort of order all the while knowing she was trying to do the same.

Eventually, sitting and doing nothing got to him. He got to his feet and paced the small space of the room, mimicking her actions from the day before. "Everything's planned and taken care of, right? You've checked the vest and it hasn't been tampered with?"

"I trust the members of my team not to supply me with a dud if that's what you're asking." Sam looked up, leaning back and watching him complete his journey across the room then stop, turn, and walk back. "I'll be checking everything out this afternoon to make sure it's all working. The van that'll be your cover should be arriving at its location in an hour's time and everything else will be taken care of tonight. It'll work out. As far as the NID are aware I will die tonight on my way to the hospital after taking a bullet to the chest."

"And I'll be named as your killer." He stopped pacing, the colour in his face fading.

"Actually an unidentified gun man will be named as my killer," she corrected him with a ghost of a smile. "The NID aren't in the habit of naming their assassins, even if they don't care much for them. They're not trying to set you up, Jack, not this time. Naming you will only link them to me and that'll serve no purpose. In fact that would help my investigation and they're not about to do that."

"I'll still be firing the gun." His expression was distant, his eyes haunted. Sam knew what he was thinking and stood, hesitantly covering the distance between them.

Charlie.

He was thinking of his son.

"I won't be hurt, Jack, I promise." She tentatively reached a hand to him, touching his arm. "You're not really going to be shooting me, it's just an act. When you're standing there tonight don't think about it as being real. Keep reminding yourself why we're doing this. Think about how good it's going to feel when the NID are taken out of the picture for good. Don't think about anything else. *Anything*."

Their eyes met for the first time that day and a dozen messages were passed between them. There was forgiveness, there was concern, there was love and there was hope. There was guilt, there was pain, there was doubt and there was fear.

"Don't think of Charlie, don't think of me. Don't think of us and don't feel guilty. It's what you have to do. What they're making you do. If you want to get angry with anyone, get angry with them. Do it because of how it's going to affect them in the long run."

His arms went around her in a loose embrace and she went to him willingly, allowing herself the luxury of forgetting the distance between them.

Nothing else was said. Five minutes later Jack let her go and left the room. Sam gathered her belongings together, casting one last glance around the quarters that had become her second home over the years and closed the door behind her, wondering if she'd ever be back.

She left the SGC with a sense of sadness, a sense of foreboding hanging over her like a heavy rain cloud just waiting to burst.

=*=

It was still there as the hours rolled by. Sam sat at the table in the corner of the dimly lit bar, watching the minutes tick passed. She could sense the apprehension radiating off her companions but was in no position to reassure them the plan would work.

She wasn't convinced herself.

She adjusted the vest she wore under her clothes as discreetly as she could and stood up silently when the clock on the wall told her it was time to go. Her companions stood up and she glanced around at the faces of her teammates, her friends.

Caitlin Adams, a former Commander in the US Navy. Forced to take early retirement due to a back injury but kept on by the MIU due to her computer skills and above average intelligence. They'd known each other for ten years.

Andrew Mason, a Colonel in the Marines. Despite the friendly rivalry between the Air Force and Marines and the difference in their ranks, he was one of her most trusted team members. He'd been her surrogate brother for almost fifteen years, had been inducted to the MIU at the same time as her and Liz. He'd taken Liz's murder personally and always vowed they'd get revenge.

David Riley, an Air Force Captain and the newest member of her team. She'd helped train him, helped him make the decision to stay with the MIU by encouraging him. By instilling a sense of morality into him. He was like a younger brother but his lack of experience made him no less vital. It was his enthusiasm, his passion for getting justice that had breathed new life into their investigation seven years ago.

Annie Bartley, the final member of the group. She was the eldest, the one with the most experience. She was a former Colonel with the Air Force, had been given the opportunity to be General but had declined the promotion knowing it would limit her time with the MIU. She had no problem being led by Sam although at first she'd protested at such an important investigation being given to someone younger than herself. She'd changed her mind after their initial meeting, after seeing Sam's passion and determination to get the NID. Annie had understood it, shared it. She was personally involved, too. She was the one who'd brought Locksley into the MIU although she didn't know Sam knew that.

"It was great seeing you guys again," Sam started, keeping up the pretence of their meeting just in case the bar had ears as well as eyes. "I'm sorry I can't be more actively involved but keep me updated. If anything new comes up, you know where to find me."

"Yeah, you'll be buried in the mountain doing God-knows-what." Mason winked and grinned but to those who knew him it was obviously forced. He embraced her warmly, lingering for just a second longer than normal. "Take care of yourself, Major."

"Likewise, Colonel." Almost as soon as she stepped away she was engulfed by another set of arms. Annie. Smiling into the older woman's shoulder, Sam allowed herself a moment to relax. It was amazing how Anne could do that, how calming the older woman could be even in the tensest of circumstances. "Annie, always good to see you."

"Hmm." Annie pulled back and stared at her critically – as she always did when it came to saying goodbye at the end of a briefing. "I'd be happier if next time I saw you the suitcases under your eyes are reduced to hand baggage."

"I'll take it under advisement," Sam smiled and moved onto Caitlin, giving the other woman a brief hug. She didn't trust herself to speak to Caitlin, not because she was afraid she'd get emotional but because she could feel the other woman trembling as they hugged.

She wasn't surprised. Caitlin had been one of Liz's friends, too, and it wasn't easy for them not to think of her death when the night was going to end seemingly with Sam following in her footsteps.

David was unusually subdued – but no less enthusiastic when he took his turn in saying goodbye. He didn't speak either but squeezed her a little tighter than necessary, biting his lip when she stepped back.

Taking a deep breath, Sam picked up her purse and squared her shoulders. Without giving them another glance, she weaved her way through the stools and tables and approached the exit. She paused when she reached the door, took a deep breath and pushed it open.

Then she stepped alone into the night, prepared to look death in the eye.

=*=

It was cold, it was damp but the shiver that worked its way down his spine had nothing to do with the weather.

He could feel them out there, concealed by shadows, watching him.

Waiting.

He'd gotten their early, wanting to find his place and needing to prepare himself. When his watch had told him it was 2200 hours, his heart had skipped a beat and he'd moved into position behind the van.

From his vantage point, he could see both her car and the exit to the bar.

Every time the door opened his heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat. Every time he realised it wasn't her and started to relax the door would open again and someone else would make an exit.

The seconds ticked by.

1, 2, 3, 4.

The door opened.

Even though the light was dim he knew instantly it was her. He would recognise her anywhere, knew her form even from a distance.

She walked across the parking lot, his heart beating in time with her steps.

The sickening sensation in his stomach increased ten-fold as she approached, the nausea bubbling away inside.

He watched her unlock the car door and steadied his gun. Saw her turn slightly through the viewfinder.

For a split second she looked right at him.

Then he fired.

And watched her fall.

=*=

/part four

=*=

Continue to part two

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