=*=

 

It took two hours for her to tell them everything. Two hours of tears and anger, shame and guilt. Sam let it all pour out of her, explaining how helpless she felt at knowing what had happened to her and being unable to stop it. It took Jack and Janet almost an hour to assure her there was nothing she could have done, no way she could have fought back because she wasn't really there. She felt as if she'd let them down by being weak because she hadn't done anything in her visions to stop Baal or his Jaffa or Anubis from doing those things to her. In fact, she'd appeared to enjoy it.

 

The line was thoroughly blurred and Sam sometimes forgot it was Theia who was in control at the time. Theia was the one who had enjoyed it. She was the one who had let them touch and kiss her. She was the one Sam saw with Baal and the others; she was the one who took them as her lovers.

 

Sam wasn't involved. Her body was but everything else that made her who she was hadn't been involved in any of it. Her heart, her mind, her soul.. Sam herself wasn't there and if it wasn't for the fact she was pregnant, she might have been able to accept that.

 

But being pregnant was having proof, having evidence that couldn't be pushed away like a nightmare was banished in the morning. It was evidence that although she wasn't there in mind, she had been there physically.

 

Eventually, after crying and shouting and letting go of the anger and the fear, Sam collapsed into an exhausted heap. She fell asleep in the safety of Jack's arms, letting her defences slip down. They wouldn't let anything bad happen to her while she slept and she knew one or both of them would be there when she woke up.

 

"I don't know what to say," Janet spoke up, keeping her voice quiet. She let her head rest in her hands, closing her eyes with a weary sigh. "How do we start helping her through this?"

 

"We already have." Jack kept his voice soft, tightening his arms around the woman he held when she stirred slightly. "We let her talk about it, make sure she doesn't try keeping anything from us again and we keep telling her she couldn't have done anything differently. She needs to know it wasn't her. If we get her to keep blaming the Goa'uld, she'll be able to stop blaming herself and hopefully in time we can put it behind us."

 

"What if we don't have enough time?" Janet couldn't help herself from being pessimistic. She wanted to be positive so she could help but she didn't know if she could – how could she be optimistic when it seemed so pointless? There was nothing they could do to stop Anubis from taking Sam, nothing they could do to stop it from happening all over again..

 

"There's plenty of time." He met her eyes, his voice hard. "Anubis might come and take her but he won't have her for long. We'll get her back and then we'll have all the time we need to get her through this. We'll all get through it."

 

The words were bravely spoken and she wanted desperately to believe them. For his sake, Janet forced a smile when she got to her feet. "Of course we will." She moved to the door, glancing back at him only to find he'd closed his eyes and was on his way to falling asleep. "I hope we do," she murmured to herself, slipping out of the room and giving the SF outside a look that said not to ask questions and not to disturb the couple inside.

 

She walked slowly through the hallways of the SGC, nodding distractedly at the people she passed. Her mind was on other things. Her mind was on Sam. It wasn't fair, she ranted silently, that someone so nice could go through something so bad. It wasn't fair that the chance to have a normal life was snatched from her again and although she didn't approve one hundred percent, it wasn't fair that her friend had finally opened herself up to the possibility of finding happiness regardless of the pain that could await her at its end only to have the chance to discover it cruelly taken from her.

 

It was those thoughts in mind that Janet shut the door to her office and locked it, sliding down to the floor as silent tears fell from her eyes.

 

=*=

 

Daniel and Teal'c were told everything she remembered at Sam's request. She was unable to go through it all again herself partly because it didn't want to and partly because Janet had advised against it. The doctor didn't want Sam exhausting herself again and had ordered her friend to get plenty of rest, eat properly and avoid putting herself under any further stress. So Jack and Doctor Fraiser had been the ones to sit with Teal'c, Daniel and General Hammond, taking it in turns to tell them what Sam had shared, omitting any details about the development in the Major's relationship with Colonel O'Neill by silent agreement.

 

Teal'c and Daniel decided after the debriefing that they needed to show Sam their support so with the approval of Janet and Jack, they went to her quarters and asked if they could talk to her for a while.

 

"I was wondering if you'd come and see me." Sam took a step to the side and let them pass. She closed the door behind them and turned with a shy, unsure smile. "I know Janet and Jack were going to tell you everything. I guess they have already?"

 

"Yeah.. Jack?" Daniel shot her a questioning glance as she sat down in one of the chairs. He made a mental note of the oversized shirt she was wearing, recognising it as one of the Colonels.

 

"It seems pointless calling him anything else considering the circumstances." Sam eased herself down onto the bed, one hand going to her back. "I'm hardly an example of the perfect Air Force officer at the moment." She gave them a small shrug, side-stepping the question easily. It was up to Jack to tell them the truth. She wanted them to know but it would mean more to Jack if he could tell them himself, whether or not she was there when he did. She glanced at Teal'c, giving the Jaffa a small smile when he raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Is there anything in particular you want to talk about? Any questions..?"

 

The two men looked at each other and exchanged an uncomfortable glance. It was Teal'c who eventually spoke, standing with his hands behind his back. "We came to see if you were well, Major Carter, and to assure you that we will do all we can to see vengeance for what you have been subjected to."

 

"Thank you, Teal'c. I'm honestly okay at the moment. I'm feeling better than I have in a long time." She moved her hand from her back to her stomach, a line marring the smoothness of her brow at the strange movements her baby made. It was almost as if the baby was agitated, as if it knew something was wrong. "I wish the same could be said for this one but he or she's been very active this morning."

 

"Sam." Daniel grasped his hands together, watching her carefully. He had been troubled since she turned him away four days ago and suspected there was more going on that she'd admitted. "I have to know.. Why did you push us away? You should've known we wouldn't think less of you because of what happened.."

 

"Rationally I know that. But it was hard, separating Theia from myself. But for the two of you, it was more. I didn't want to hurt you, Daniel, by reminding you of Sha're. She went through this. Maybe not in exactly the same way but very similar. And you, Teal'c," she looked at him again, her eyes asking for understanding. "I represent everything you hate in the world. I still have a living Goa'uld inside of me, one who has an army of your people enslaved. Whether any of us like to think about it or not, I am still a Goa'uld. I'm the enemy."

 

"You will not always be so." Teal'c assured her, his hands clenching behind his back. "And you, Major Carter, are the host not the Goa'uld. You are the innocent party. The Goa'uld inside you is the enemy. It is a parasite we will endeavour to remove from you at all costs."

 

During his speech, the baby became more restless. Sam's frown deepened, as her child seemed to do somersaults in her belly. She saw Teal'c take a step towards her and Daniel got out of his chair. Then she knew blackness.

 

"Your words are weak lies, Jaffa. Pathetic attempts at convincing my host of untruths you cling to in place of facing the reality you know will come. Heed my warning, Jaffa, let this woman go and I will spare your life and that of your son when Anubis begins his assault on the Tau'ri and their allies."

 

"I thought you wanted the baby." Daniel took a step closer, glaring at the Goa'uld. "Anubis won't be too happy if you hurt it.."

 

"I am only here to warn you. I will so go back to my dormant state and the baby will remain unharmed." Theia gave him a cruel smile. "Tell your people to give my host up as lost or I will ensure you regret it. My child and I will return to my Lord Anubis soon. You would be advised to let us go peacefully."

 

Her eyes flashed and Sam gasped. She cried out, clutching her stomach as pain sliced through her abdomen. Teal'c moved to her side, wrapping a steadying arm around her as Daniel rushed to the door to alert the SF.

 

Her breathing becoming increasingly laboured, Sam clutched Teal'c's hand and looked up as Jack burst through the door with Janet on his heels. "Don't let her take my baby," she gasped, her fingernails digging into Teal'c's flesh. "Please don't let her take my baby."

 

=*=

 

Janet wasn't surprised when she walked into the infirmary with General Hammond two hours later to find the members of SG-1 were still there gathered around Sam's bed. She gave them all a reassuring smile and walked to stand beside her sleeping friend.

 

"You can all relax, Sam and her baby are okay. The baby was in distress, which caused Sam to have a mild anxiety attack. The reason she's still unconscious is because we sedated her in order to calm her down and avoid the risk of further complications with the baby." Janet stared down on her friend and the smile faded. "Sam should wake up any time now. I'm not sure if she's going to want to, though."

 

"Why would that be?" Teal'c spoke for the group, noticing out of the corner of his eye that O'Neill withdrew his hand from where it lay next to Major Carters when the General entered the room.

 

"The President and the Joint Chiefs are under a lot of pressure from certain parties," General Hammond answered. "Ever since they discovered Major Carter was here and the circumstances surrounding her arrival, certain parties have been telling the President it would be the safest option for Major Carter to be kept in secure confinement at another base.."

 

"Kinsey." Jack scowled. His gaze snapped up to the General. "They're not taking Carter away, Sir. You know if Kinsey and the NID get their hands on her and the baby.."

 

"I agree that isn't an option, Colonel, but after the President learnt that the Goa'uld briefly returned this afternoon he asked me to come up with another solution." General Hammond glanced briefly at the sleeping woman. "After an hour of conferring the President has authorised us to move Major Carter to a safer location off world. We're going to find somewhere she can go where the Goa'uld won't be able to cause the destruction if it awakens early."

 

"You can't send her alone, General," Daniel protested. "If the Goa'uld doesn't take over again until the baby's born but you're talking about leaving her somewhere for near enough three months.."

 

"I don't plan on sending her to an unpopulated world, Doctor Jackson, just one where they're not as vulnerable to the Goa'uld causing as much destruction there as it could do here. Maybe somewhere less technologically advanced so the Goa'uld won't see it as such an attractive place to ruin. Wherever we send her, we will make sure they're aware of the situation and are prepared to support her." The General held up a hand to keep them from protesting further. "As members of Major Carter's team and being the closest thing to family she has that can be made aware of the situation, discounting Jacob, you will all have the choice of whether to join her off world. You won't all be able to stay all of the time for obvious reasons. You may be called back for missions or in your case, Doctor Jackson, to work on artefacts brought back by the other teams. It is entirely up to you whether you go or not."

 

It was a unanimous decision: they all agreed to go and stay with Sam on whatever planet they could find for her. It wasn't really something they had to think about – they all knew their future with her was uncertain and were more than aware of how difficult rescuing her from the Goa'uld would be. They'd spent almost four years looking for Sha're to try and rid her of the parasite inside and that had ended in freeing her the only way they could – by killing her to end the torment of being a slave to the creature inside.

 

When Sam woke up, Janet was there to break the news. Instead of being upset by the General's plans, Sam was relieved – even more so when she was told her friends would be going with her, wherever it was she was going. She didn't mind as long as it was somewhere quiet, somewhere the Goa'uld wouldn't see as being a threat to them and wouldn't see as being worthy of taking over.

 

She almost changed her mind when General Hammond told her where they were going. Edora. The only populated, non-technologically advanced planet they were on relatively good terms with who were willing to take her and her three teammates in for a three-month period understanding the situation they were in.

 

Great. Just great.

 

"It won't be so bad," Janet assured her with a grin, feeling for a moment as if she had her old friend back. "You'll have your own house you'll be sharing with SG-1 and I'll be coming through every two weeks."

 

"You don't care where I'm going, you just want an excuse to come through the Stargate more often," Sam complained, stuffing a backpack with some loose dresses Janet insisted she'd be more comfortable in during the last three months of her pregnancy. "I don't want to go to Edora. Why couldn't we go somewhere else? *Anywhere* else?"

 

"Because no one else was willing to take you in knowing the Goa'uld have an interest in you." Janet reached out and took her friends hands, smiling fondly. "It's going to be fine. I know what you're thinking, Sam, and you have nothing to worry about."

 

"I don't know what you're talking about, Janet." A petulant pout seemed to suggest otherwise. Then Sam's shoulders slumped and she sat down on the bed. "But you know *why* they agreed. Who is it that makes the decisions for the Edorans? And just think who's coming with me and most likely going to be there for the whole three months with me?"

 

"Someone who's crazy about you and who wants more than anything for this baby to be his," Janet retorted with a raised eyebrow. "You know I don't agree with what you're doing, Sam, but I'd have to be blind not to see how he feels about you. Especially now I know something's going on between you and am paying more attention than usual to the signs."

 

"I know." Sam sighed and stared up at her friend with big, round eyes. "It must be the hormones. I'm just.. I'm fat, Janet, and she's going to be there and they have history and you really don't want to hear me go on about this. I don't even want to hear me go on about this. Make me stop. Please."

 

Unable to contain her amusement any longer, Janet laughed at the expression in her face and hugged her on impulse. "As your colleague in the US Air Force, no I don't want to hear it. As your friend.. I wish the situation could be different for you both but I'm pleased you're happy. I just wish you could be happier."

 

"Me too." With tears stinging her eyes, Sam returned the hug and when she pulled back, her eyes were brimming. "Is there any way we can end this conversation with me not looking like an emotional wreck instead of the supposedly independent woman I am?"

 

"No," Janet answered after some deliberation. "But you're pregnant so it's allowed. And we'll make it our little secret, okay?"

 

As satisfied as she could be with that answer, Sam accepted another hug from her friend and resumed packing. 'It was the hormones,' she told herself resolutely. 'Nothing more than hormones.'

 

It was just unfortunate that her hormones were completely messed up so her emotions were all over the place, making her irrational and moody. Janet watched the four of them leave two days later, a small smile on her face. She couldn't wait to go through the Stargate in two weeks time and forced herself to focus on the positive, knowing there'd be plenty of time in the future to dwell on the negative.

 

=*=

/part five

=*=

 

There was a small welcome party waiting for them when they walked through the Stargate. Sam grumbled to herself on spotting a familiar face in the crowd but managed to fake a smile when she felt a hand on the small of her back and sensed both Teal'c and Daniel move closer. It was sweet how protective they were being but on the other hand, she didn't need them drawing any extra attention to her.

 

Stealing herself, Sam took the lead and walked towards the group of Edorans, doing all she could to keep the smile in place. It slipped slightly when Laira stepped forward; the other woman's gaze and smile fixing on someone just behind her.

 

"Fair day," Laira greeted them, her gaze moving to Sam when Jack took a step closer to the blond major. "Major Carter, please accept our congratulations on your blessing and be assured that we will do all that we can to make you comfortable during your stay here."

 

Daniel's muttered 'we've heard that before' echoed Sam's thoughts and sent her mind back to places she didn't want to go but aloud, she accepted the Edoran woman's welcome with what seemed like equal warmth. "Thank you for your kindness and for offering us a place to stay despite the circumstances.."

 

"Your General assured there would be little danger in us helping you. That is why your friends are here, to ensure the creature inside you cannot harm our people." Payan was staring at them suspiciously but Sam got the feeling his suspicious gaze wasn't meant solely for her.

 

Jack was the one who fielded the comment, slipping an arm around Sam's waist in what appeared to be a well-practised gesture, staring at the Edorans through the darkness of his shades. "I don't mean to sound rude but it's been a long day and Sam needs her rest.."

 

"Of course. I'll show you to your home." Laira smiled brightly, after shooting Payan a glance SG-1 couldn't decipher. "If there is anything you need during your time here, please do not hesitate in asking us," she told them kindly, leading them away from the small group towards the village. "You will have to excuse Payan. He was not supportive of our decision to welcome you here."

 

"If it's going to cause problems, we can leave and find somewhere else.." Part of her was hoping Laira would say yes, leaving was a good idea but that part of Sam was disappointed when the Edoran laughed and continued walking.

 

"It is not the creature inside you that causes Payan's discomfort," Laira assured her. "It is something else. Something he will need to accept if he wishes to be treated like the adult he is." She stopped outside the first house they came to on the edge of the village, a short distance away from any of the other buildings. "This will be your home while you stay with us. I apologise for its size but it is the only one we have that is currently available."

 

"It's fine, thank you, Laira." Daniel brushed passed Sam and Jack and walked into the house; eager to put down the heavy bag he was carrying. Teal'c followed suit, dumping the two bags he carried on the floor of what looked like the kitchen-come-dining room.

 

Sam watched her two teammates disappear inside and bit her lip, feeling decidedly awkward as she stood between Jack and Laira. "I'm going to go and lie down. Thank you again, Laira, it's very kind of you to do this." She started to move inside the house only to be stopped by Jack putting a hand on her arm.

 

"You okay?" He took off his sunglasses and searched her eyes, not liking it when the smile she gave him didn't reach her eyes.

 

"I'm fine. I just need to get some sleep." She gentle removed his hand from her arm. "You two should talk. You have a lot to catch up on." Sam excused herself without saying anything else and walked into the house, leaving Laira and Jack alone.

 

Wanting nothing more than to follow her inside, Jack stared down at the ground. He didn't know what to say to Laira. She had once meant so much to him, a lifeline at a time in his life when he easily could have sunk into despair. He knew her feelings for him had been deeper than his for her and now, standing in front of her on the planet that had once been his home, Jack waited for those old feelings to resurface, ashamed of himself when he could muster no more than friendship and gratefulness that her people had given them somewhere to come to.

 

Laira smiled up at him when his gaze returned to his face, holding out a hand for him to take. "Walk with me for a while, Jack. There are many things we need to talk about."

 

Reluctantly but not as much as he thought he'd be, Jack took her hand and allowed her to gently steer him away fro the house. Sensing they were being watched, he looked up in time to see Sam turn away form the window upstairs.

 

=*=

 

They walked to the lake in silence, sitting down on the bank before either of them started to talk. Laira stared at him as he gazed out over the lake, quenching the sadness in her heart that their reunion couldn't be what she dreamt it would.

 

"Payan is jealous of your being here," she started, looking away when he turned his head to look at her. "He has no reason to be. He is my husband and should trust that I will remain faithful to him, no matter how tempted I am," she added with a small smile. "Payan and I married two hundred days after your departure. I think it is a union he regrets as I have been unable to give him a child." She looked at him then, a sad expression arranging her features. "Am I right in assuming you wish Major Carter's child to be yours?"

 

"Yeah." He didn't bother lying; he respected her too much for that. "Carter.. Sam's baby might be mine. Whether it is or not I'm going to be a part of its life." He smiled sympathetically, taking her hand. "Congratulations on your marriage. Payan is a very lucky man."

 

"He may not think so." Laira gave a short, bitter laugh. "He wanted a child of his own but I have been unable to conceive."

 

"Children aren't everything," Jack told her honestly, remembering in the back of his mind another conversation he'd had when he said exactly the same thing, only that conversation had resulted in a very different ending the one he was currently having would. "Payan cares about you too much to let that put him off. He must do or he wouldn't mind me being here, would he?"

 

"Perhaps not," Laira smiled at him and shifted towards him. "Tell me what has changed since you were last here, Jack. Tell me of the places you've been to and the things you've seen."

 

The longing in her eyes and wistfulness in her tone wasn't just for the adventures he'd had but that was how he chose to interpret it. For nearly an hour he told her all he could, leaving out the dangerous and classified missions out of habit more than anything else. Although he could talk to Laira in a way he couldn't have done with his wife, he still couldn't tell her everything. There was only one woman who would understand it all, who would accept it without judgment, he reflected with a small smile.

 

A smile Laira saw and understood.

 

"You love her, don't you?" The smile she gave him was as genuine as the pang in her chest. Had that look ever entered his eyes when he talked about her? She wondered. Did Payan ever smile in that way when he spoke of her to his friends? She could tell from the blush that rose up in his cheeks that he wasn't going to say he didn't. "Does Major Carter know?"

 

"I think she does," Jack replied with a shrug. "She knows I care about her."

 

"But does she know you love her?" Laira wondered aloud. "I saw the way she looked at us, Jack. She is unsure where your affections lie and given her condition, you should probably make sure she knows. Women can be very.. insecure when they are with child." Her eyes clouded over as she recalled with fondness her own time as an expectant mother. "My husband was very supportive of me," she remembered with a distant smile. "I don't know how he coped with the shifts in my mood."

 

Jack squeezed the hand he was holding and leaned over to wipe away the tear that ran down her cheek. "I'm sorry you and Payan are having trouble, Laira. I'm sure you'll have a child together when the time's right."

 

"I hope so, Jack. I do not think I could survive losing another man I love," she admitted tearfully, looking away so he wouldn't know she was talking about more than her late husband. "We should be getting back. It will soon be dark and I have yet to prepare an evening meal for my family." Decisively, Laira released his hand and got to her feet, brushing the dirt from her dress. "If you would like me to prepare an evening meal for you and your friends.."

 

"We'll manage," Jack assured her, standing with a grin. "Laira, I honestly can't thank you enough for letting us come here. If you hadn't, I don't know where Carter would've been sent.."

 

"You're welcome, Jack." She meant it, too. "I hope you and Major Carter find a way to remain together when this is over. And I hope she and I can become friends when she realises I am not a threat to her."

 

They walked back to the village making small, casual conversation. Payan was there waiting for them, the scowl on his face making Jack move his arm from where it had been casually slung around Laira's waist.

 

"Payan, I believe congratulations are in order." Jack held out a hand to the other man and Laira held her breath, waiting for her husband to respond. "I was just asking Laira for some advice.."

 

"Jack was wondering how he could ensure Major Carter knows he loves her," Laira picked up on the half-truth and threw Jack a grateful smile when Payan moved to take his hand. "I told him he should just tell her and do everything he can to make her believe it."

 

"You have a good woman here," Jack told Payan when the other man grasped his hand. "You're a very lucky man."

 

Payan nodded and wrapped a possessive arm around her. "I know."

 

"Well, I better be going back. Someone's going to have to make sure Carter eats something." With an easy grin, Jack excused himself and headed in the direction of the house that would be his home. He glanced back over his shoulder to see Payan kiss his wife and his grin grew. He was happy for them – and he hoped he could use their marriage in his attempts at assuring Carter what had been between him and Laira was well and truly in the past.

 

Reaching the house, Jack let himself in, raising an eyebrow when only Teal'c and Daniel were sitting at the table eating. "Where's Carter?"

 

"She wouldn't come down," Daniel replied calmly, studiously avoiding looking up at the colonel. "Can't say I blame her. She needs all of our support, Jack. If you're not going to be there for her you might as well go home."

 

"I'll be there," Jack retorted, unsurprised by his friends defensiveness towards Sam. He still didn't know exactly what had happened during his first stay on Edora but he knew whatever it was had caused the other two male members of SG-1 to hover over Carter for what felt like several weeks until they were sure Jack could be trusted on his own with her. "I just need to sort something out."

 

Teal'c stood and held out a tray with a bowl and spoon on it, his serious gaze locking with Jacks. "Major Carter needs to eat," was all he said.

 

"I'll take it up to her," Jack took the tray with a nod. "What are the sleeping arrangements, anyway?"

 

"There are two rooms. Daniel Jackson and myself have taken the room with two cots." Teal'c continued to stare him down. "We had thought you could share with Major Carter."

 

"Yeah, sounds okay to me." Jack nodded again and started towards the door, pausing before he went through it. "I need to talk to you guys when I get back. There's something you should know."

 

"You can tell us after ensuring Major Carter eats, O'Neill." Teal'c stared at him until he left the room and only then did he allow the smile to show on his face. "I believe you are right, Doctor Jackson. Something has indeed occurred between them."

 

"As long as he doesn't hurt her," Daniel commented as Teal'c rejoined him at the table. "It's okay as long as he doesn't hurt her."

 

Teal'c agreed wholeheartedly, though he suspected it was the Colonel who would be hurting when their time on Edora came to an end.

 

=*=

 

He walked quietly up the stairs, checking the first room with the open door before crossing to the second. He knocked softly on the door and opened it when no one answered, stepping inside.

 

"Carter?" He called out softly; gazing at the bump he could see underneath the thin blankets of the double sized bed. "You asleep?"

 

"Yes," came the mumbled reply, the answer contradicting the truth. She shifted on the bed, burrowing further under the blankets.

 

"You don't sound it." He grinned to himself at the sleepiness in her tone, crossing the room towards her. He stopped beside the bed, wondering whether he should sit down. "I brought you something to eat," he said eventually when she made no move to acknowledge him further. Staring down into the bowl, he gave it a tentative sniff. "Smells like soup."

 

There was another shuffle beneath the covers and he could just make out the top of her head. "I'm not hungry," came the muffled response with a clipped "thank you" added after a moment's pause.

 

"Come on, Sam. You've got to keep your strength up." He put the tray down on the small table next to the bed and stared at her, wishing he could see more than just her head.

 

"I'll eat later," she muttered eventually, her voice sounding thick – whether with tiredness or something else, he didn't know.

 

There was a long pause as he searched his mind for something else to say. He sighed softly and sat down on the bed beside her, tentatively reaching out to touch her through the blankets. "So. It looks like we're going to be sharing," he started, desperate for her to look at him. "Daniel and T have claimed the other room so you're stuck with me."

 

"Great," she snorted, wriggling a little to avoid his touch. "I'm sure the floor will be comfortable."

 

"Sam.."

 

"I'm tired," she interrupted, turning on her side so she faced away from him when her head appeared from underneath the blankets.

 

Jack wasn't willing to give up so easily so decided to try one more time. He reached for her again, letting his hand rest on her shoulder. "We need to talk."

 

"We can talk to tomorrow," Sam retorted, closing her eyes tightly and biting her lip against the warmth at her shoulder. "I'm going to sleep now, okay? Janet said I have to get more rest."

 

Knowing she was right, Jack gave another resigned sigh and moved to stand. "Fine. Tomorrow we'll talk." He leaned in quickly, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "And I'll make sure you listen."

 

She didn't move until she heard the door close softly behind him. Then Sam let out the breath she was holding, told herself she wasn't disappointed he was gone and turned her face into the pillow.

 

It was going to be a long night, and an even longer three months.

 

=*=

 

His mood didn't lift when he went back downstairs. The three male members of SG-1 ate in silence and cleared away in silence. Then he retook his seat at the table and looked from Daniel to Teal'c and back again.

 

"To make a long story short, something happened between Carter and me," he told them finally, when the silence got too much. "It happened before the snake took control of her, the night before. It wasn't supposed to be a one-night thing; neither of us is stupid enough to risk everything for that. If.. *When* this is over and we get her back, I fully intend on following through with our plans. I want a relationship with her and she used to want one with me."

 

Daniel and Teal'c failed to look surprised.

 

"We suspected something had occurred, O'Neill," Teal'c responded quietly. "Would be right in assuming the child she carries may indeed belong to you?"

 

"Yes." Jack met the Jaffa's gaze, surprised when he didn't find any recrimination there. "And even if it's not, I plan on being part of its life. The kid's going to need a father figure and with Carter's approval, that'll be me. She's already asked that I help Doc look after it until we get her back."

 

"As will we," Teal'c looked at him in approval.

 

Daniel glanced up from the table, his blue eyes solemn. "What if we don't get her back and Janet proves the baby isn't yours? What if it's a harcesis?"

 

"We are going to get her back, Daniel. Failing isn't an option here." Jack met the younger man's gaze evenly. "I know how hard it was for you when Sha're.." He shook his head, forbidding thoughts of Sam meeting the same end from sticking too long in his mind. "That isn't going to happen again. I can't let it."

 

"And the baby?" Daniel was surprised when he didn't feel the usual, intense pang of sorrow at the thought of his late wife. Instead he felt sympathy for his friend, knowing exactly what he was going through and he was determined the ending would be different. "If it's not yours?"

 

"Like I said, it doesn't matter. I'll raise it like it is." Jack shrugged to ease the tension from his shoulders. "I know there might be some problems if it is harcesis but we'll deal with them when the time comes. If necessary, I'm prepared to take the baby off world and live with it somewhere else if it means protecting it from the likes of the NID."

 

"With or without Sam?" Daniel wanted to know, needing to know his best friend had his other friend's best interests at heart. It was strange, he thought, being caught between them in this way. He always thought that if they got together he'd be happy for them – and he was. But he was wary, too. He loved Sam like a sister and Jack like a best friend and didn't want to see either of them get hurt.

 

"With or without her," Jack confirmed sternly. "Though I'd prefer it if she was there, too."

 

"Good." Daniel did smile then, the smile widening when Jack's shoulders slumped in relief. "You're going to have to do something about being here, though," he cautioned. "About Laira.."

 

"I know." Jack leaned forward, looking at them with a small grin. "I'm going to need your help, though. Carter won't talk to me about it willingly and if the two of you are around, you're going to give her an excuse to avoid me."

 

"What do you wish us to do, O'Neill?" Teal'c stared at him expectantly, waiting for the answer. Whatever it was, he'd do it. He wanted his friends to enjoy their happiness together while they could, before it was taken away from them.

 

"I need you to make yourselves scarce tomorrow night.."

 

=*=

/part six

=*=

 

As he expected, Sam avoided him during the day. He joined her in their room, awkwardly climbing into bed beside her and woke up in the morning to find her gone. It was getting to be a habit, he decided ruefully, a bad habit he intended to break. She spent the morning talking with the Edorans she recognised from when they'd been stranded on Earth and spent the afternoon walking on her own until Jack sent Teal'c after her.

 

As planned, Teal'c walked her back to the house and excused himself when she asked why he wasn't joining her inside. He then met up with Daniel and went to Laira's, who'd offered them a place to stay so Jack could put his plan into action.

 

Sam opened the door and gasped, stopping in her tracks. The room was dark with the exception of the candles that burnt brightly on the table, which had been set with the plates, cups and cutlery Laira had supplied and the food served up smelt delicious as her stomach rumbled in appreciation.

 

"If you don't close the door, the candles will go out." The voice was so close to her ear, Sam jumped and glared at him with a look that clearly said 'close it yourself.' Jack chuckled and shut the door, returning to her side to guide her gently to the table. "We better get started or the food'll go cold."

 

"I take it you arranged for Daniel and Teal'c to be somewhere else?" She asked, sitting down at the table reluctantly. Her mind struggled to keep up with the conversation while her stomach was busy telling her to eat up fast. She folded her arms over her chest and stared at him suspiciously as he moved around to the other side of the table. "Why are you doing this?"

 

"It seemed like a good idea." He shrugged and busied himself taking the top of the bottle on the table. "Besides, it's working so far."

 

Sam raised an eyebrow and watched him set the bottle lid on the table. "Working?"

 

"You're talking to me," he replied with a smug smile he couldn't keep from forming on his lips. "Listening, too. That's a very good start to the evening even if I do say so myself. Drink? It's none alcoholic."

 

"Yes, thank you." He was already pouring it anyway. "If you wanted to talk, you could've just said so instead of going to these extremes.."

 

"I wouldn't say this was going to extremes, Carter. Sam," he corrected himself, finally taking his seat opposite her. "You wouldn't talk to me last night, you've been ignoring me all day.. I didn't think you were the jealous type, Carter."

 

"Jealous?" She stared at him in disbelief, hoping he wouldn't notice the slightly higher pitched tone to her voice and pleased the darkness hid the glow in her cheeks. "I am not jealous! What do I have to be jealous about?"

 

"Absolutely nothing. That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Jack watched her push the food around on her plate and stifled a sigh. "You might want to eat that," he said with forced cheerfulness. "Fraiser won't be happy if I tell her you haven't been eating.."

 

The glare she threw him made him want to smile but instead he looked away, piling his own fork high with the meal Payan had instructed him to cook. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she started eating, pleased when she seemed to enjoy it.

 

"There's nothing going on between Laira and me, if that's what you're thinking," he spoke up casually, careful not to let her see him looking at her. "She and Payan have been married for a while," he continued, sensing rather than seeing that he had her full attention. "They're trying for a kid, actually, but they're having a few problems."

 

"I'm sorry for that but what does it have to do with me?" Sam glanced up from her plate, her eyes narrowing when she didn't catch him watching her. She could've sworn that he was looking at her.. "Laira's relationship with Payan or with you for that matter is none of my business.."

 

"I just thought you'd want to know what Laira and me were talking about yesterday." He put his fork down, meeting her gaze for the first time since sitting down. "Laira is just my friend, Sam. She wants to be your friends, too."

 

An eyebrow rose and she stared at him in disbelief. "She barely knows me. And I don't care whether you and Laira are just friends or not, it has absolutely nothing to do with me."

 

"As long as we're involved in this relationship, or any relationship, it's your business. For someone so smart, you're quite slow on the uptake."

 

"We're.." She started to protest but a kick from inside her stomach made her fall silent.

 

Jack grinned but concealed it behind his cup. "You can't deny we're not in a relationship because we are. We always have been. Granted, it's not always been this complicated but we have always been in some form of relationship. What I want to know is why you keep looking for a way out of it." He stopped her from protecting with a well-practised look. "You do, Sam. If you're not using regulations to avoid it, you're using something else. What gives, Carter? You said you wanted this, that you were tired of settling for what you could have instead of having what you want. Why do you keep running away from it?"

 

She put her knife and fork down on the table, folding her hands in front of her. Staring down at them, she took a deep, shuddering breath and let his words sink in. It was time. She did avoid relationships, especially with people she genuinely had feelings for. She had done for as long as she could remember; convinced that loving someone wasn't worth the risk. She'd just end up getting hurt so what was the point? Why bother loving someone if it wasn't going to last?

 

Jack studied her reaction and regretted confronting her about it. The emotions that passed over her face broke his heart let alone hers. She looked so confused, so forlorn, so lost.. He opened his mouth to tell her it was okay, she didn't have to answer him but Sam beat him to it, lifting her head. The look in her eye silenced him.

 

"I don't want to get hurt," she said quietly, refusing to give into the desire to break eye contact. "I can't go through it again."

 

"Go through what?" He couldn't stop himself from asking it, covering her hands with his. "You know I'd never hurt you."

 

"My Mom never thought she'd hurt me either but she did. Not willingly, of course, but when she died.. It hurt more than anything else in the world." Sam looked away then, staring down at her hands. Their hands. "Everyone I've ever loved has hurt me, Jack, in different ways maybe but it still hurts. My Mom died, my Dad tried to change me into the person Mark refused to be.. My brother left me after she died without thinking how it would affect anyone else. Jonas turned into someone else the moment I let him into my heart.. The guys I thought I could possibly someday fall in love with died because of me, because of what I do. Martouf, Narim, the Ambassador, Orlin.. At first I thought I was attracted to your because you were the safe bet, the one I couldn't be with so the one who couldn't hurt me." She moved her hands so they held his between them. "Then I realised it was more than that and that's when I started to back away. And then everything else happened and I got tired of not being able to be as happy as my brother, as happy as my parents were.."

 

"And as soon as you decided to open yourself to the possibility, something else bad happened and you're freaked out by it." Jack pulled his hand from hers and moved around the table. He sat on the bench beside her, wrapping an arm around her. "I can't promise I'm not going to die but I can tell you I'll do whatever I can to keep from dying until we're both really old."

 

Turning her body into his, Sam let her eyes close and sighed heavily, wanting so much to believe him but unable to find it in her heart to do so. "My parents thought they'd be together until they died. They thought they'd both reach a fine old age and die together in their sleep. It didn't happen for them."

 

"They're not us." He tightened his arm around her and pressed a kiss to her head. "I know things look pretty bad for us right now but they're not always going to be that way. You should know better than anyone else that the future isn't always what we expect it to be." Jack pulled away slightly, an idea coming to mind. It was slightly risky but.. "Have you tried seeing the future, Sam? Have you tried looking to see what's going to happen..?"

 

"I haven't tried.. I'm afraid of what I'll see," she answered truthfully. "There's no telling what the future has in store for us right now. And there's no way we can know it's real.. I've had so many different visions of the future.."

 

"You had some about having kids," he reminded her, moving a hand to rest on her stomach. "And that's come true."

 

"But I was there those times, I was able to be the Mom. I won't be this time." She met his gaze and covered his hand where it rested. "I'm scared, Jack. What if I see myself as Theia's host for good? What if I see her doing something bad, maybe even hurting someone I know?"

 

He couldn't tell her that wouldn't happen because they both knew it was a possibility. She could spend the rest of her life as a host and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Was it better not knowing or was it better being prepared for the worst case scenario?

 

"It's up to you, Sam," he said finally, getting to his feet and pulling her to hers. "There's no rush and you don't have to do it but.. There's a chance it'll make you feel better. There's also a chance it'll make us both feel worse, though, so.. It's completely up to you. For now, though," he drew her towards him again, pressing a soft, lingering kiss against her mouth. "I think it's time we got some sleep. It's been a long day and I know I sure as hell didn't sleep very well last night."

 

She nodded against him and took a step back, her gaze scanning over the remains of their dinner. "We should tidy up.."

 

He stopped her from taking another step towards the table. "I'll do it in the morning." Leaning over, he blew out the candles and reached out for her hand in the darkness. "Let's just get some sleep, okay?"

 

She willingly let him lead her upstairs and the silence between them continued until they were both ready for bed and were settled under the blankets, curled up together. Sam let her head rest on Jack's shoulder, staring into the darkness for a long time. After an hour passed, she felt his breathing deepen and knew he was sound asleep.

 

Leaning up, she brushed her lips against his, her eyes sparkling with tears she would never cry. "I'm sorry," she whispered, part of her wishing he could hear. "I can't see what's ahead of us, not even for you. I'm sorry I'm not as brave as you want me to be."

 

Settling down beside him, she closed her eyes and willed sleep to come, fighting the vision that his suggestion had conjured; telling herself it was something she didn't want to see.

 

=*=

 

Another month went by and everything seemed fine. For a change, it seemed like things had gone back to normal – as normal as they could be, anyway, with all four members of SG-1 being based off world and two of them sharing a bed and a tentative new relationship. They could never forget the circumstances that had brought them to Edora but they were making the best of it.

 

It was rare for Sam to get a moment alone so when her friends roped into helping out around the village, she seized the chance and went for a quiet walk around the village. She always seemed to end up at the same place so it wasn't a surprise when she found herself at the lake. She was drawn to it for some reason, whether it reminded her of Lake Tahoe or another lake she'd never been to she wasn't sure.

 

She sat there for about an hour when she heard footsteps. She didn't speak or even more, hoping whoever it was wouldn't see her through the long grass.

 

"Jack used to come here," Laira said in way of greeting, staying on her feet. "I never knew what he was thinking of when he sat there staring out over the water. I think I do now." She smiled warmly when Sam looked up at her. "He asked me to come for you. Your father has come through the Stargate and is waiting for you at your home."

 

"Dad's here?" Sam stood as quickly as she could, her mood lifting instantly at the thought of seeing her father. She started walking towards the village, unsurprised when Laira walked in step beside her. "I haven't thanked you properly, Laira, for all you've done for us."

 

"It is nothing. If there is anything I can do to help you feel more comfortable or if you want to talk.." Laira sounded nothing but sincere as she made the offer. "It must be hard for you being here without your mother and your female friends. I don't know what I would have done without my mother here to help me when I had my son."

 

"My Mom died when I was a kid," Sam said softly, the words leaving her mouth before she could think about them. Her Mom never seemed far from her thoughts as her pregnancy progressed and now, with just over a month to go, she seemed to be thinking about her every other minute of every other day. "I wish she was here now."

 

Laira hesitated then reached out to touch the other woman's arm. "I am sorry about your mother. Mine passed on two years after my son was born. I suppose it is better for me, she was there for the birth of her grandchild. Her only grandchild."

 

Sam briefly let her hand linger on top of Laira's but quickly broke the contact. "I'm sorry to hear you and Payan.. Jack told me you're having problems trying to conceive a child."

 

Laira smiled again, albeit with a touch of sadness. "I am hopefully our luck will change soon. Payan is desperate for a child of his own. I only wish I could give him the son or daughter he longs for."

 

"When the time's right, you will be able to." Sam glanced at her from the corner of her eye, touching her own extended abdomen as if to check it was still there. "If you're worried about there being something wrong, you could ask Janet to run some tests when she's next here. If nothing else, it'll help put your mind at ease."

 

"Do you think Doctor Fraiser would mind? I wouldn't want to trouble her." Hope flared in her eyes even as she spoke and Sam couldn't stop herself from returning the smile.

 

"She wouldn't mind at all. I'll ask her for you next time if you'd like?" She barely heard the answer although she knew it was a yes, her gaze straying to the two men standing outside her house seemingly in deep conversation. Jack's shirt clung and hung in all the right places and then he laughed at something her father said.. "Down girl," she told herself softly. "These hormones are driving me crazy," she said aloud, smiling when the object of her attention noticed her, a slow grin spreading across his face. "Excuse me, Laira," she bushed slightly at the knowing grin on the Edoran woman's face. "Dad, hi."

 

Jacob grinned at the sight of her, pushing certain thoughts from his mind. "You look great, Sammie." He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "So I went back to Earth to visit my little girl and George told me you'd move here.. He said you'd fill me in on everything that's been going on."

 

"I will, Dad." She let go of him just enough to step away. "But if you don't mind, I'd like it if we could go inside and talk? It's getting a bit hot our here and my feet are aching."

 

"No problem, Sam." Jacob held onto her hand and nodded to Jack. "Will you be joining us, Colonel?"

 

"Ah, not this time. I've got to get back to work." Jack grinned but Sam could see the nervousness in his eyes. She wasn't surprised; they'd decided a few days before that they wanted to tell her father the truth – and get his advice on how to break the news to General Hammond. "I'll see you later, Jacob, Carter."

 

Whistling, Jack wandered off and Sam watched him go. She blushed when she noticed her father staring at her curiously and motioned for him to go inside. "After you."

 

Taking a deep breath, she followed him in, mentally crossing her fingers that he'd take her bombshell better than she thought he would.

 

=*=

 

Father and daughter were settled in the kitchen, sitting at the table in the centre of the room. Sam glanced up at him nervously, smiling shyly when he looked up at her. Ten minutes had passed since she'd told him about the possibility of Jack being her baby's father and had explained the shift in their relationship was one she welcomed.. and he still hadn't said a word.

 

"I know you're never going to approve, Dad, I'm not asking you to. I just want you to know I'm happy, just in case these are the last few months I have.. I want you to know I spent them being as happy as I can be given the situation." Sam bit her lip when his eyes locked with hers again, holding her breath when he lifted his head. She leaned into his palm when he cupped her cheek and let out the breath she'd been holding when he gave her a watery smile.

 

Jacob had to clear his throat before the words would come out passed the lump that rose in it. "The solider part of me can't be happy about this, Sam, but that part of me took a backseat a long time ago. The rest of me is thrilled you're finally doing something that makes you happy, really happy, although if it could've been done without breaking regulations.." He shook his head and smiled again. He took his hand from her face and held it out for her to take. Their fingers entwined and he found he had to blink back tears. "Your mom would be so happy for you, Sammie. There's a glow about you I saw in her when we were together.. I wish she could see you now."

 

"I wish she was here, too." Sam swallowed the lump in her throat and ignored the sting in her eyes. "I really miss her, Dad. I've been thinking about her a lot and I.. I'd do anything to have her with me for this."

 

"Me, too, Sammie," he brought her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss against her knuckles. "Me, too." With his other hand, he wiped suspiciously at his eyes.

 

Sam gave his fingers a squeeze and kept her hold of his hand as she stood and moved around the table. Sitting on the bench beside him, she leaned in and let her head rest on his shoulder, closing her eyes when his arm wrapped around her.

 

They sat there in silence for a long time, both conjuring all the memories they had of the woman who would have made the moment complete.

 

=*=

/part seven

=*=

 

Sam and Jacob hadn't moved much an hour later when Jack arrived with Janet beside him. They both looked up when the door opened, a smile breaking out across Sam's face when she saw the doctor.

 

"Hey, Mom," Janet smiled and embraced Sam when the other woman stood to greet her. "How's it going?"

 

Sam grinned and stood back, taking Janet's hand and resting it on her stomach as the child inside kicked in greeting. "I'd say it's going okay."

 

"Glad to hear it." Janet smiled in acknowledgement at Jacob when the retired General also stood. "If you don't mind, Jacob, I need to steal your daughter for a while. We need to make sure this little one's ready to face the world in a few weeks time."

 

"That's fine with me, Doctor." Jacob's gaze slid from her face and fixed on Jack. It was all he could do not to grin when the colonel swallowed noticeably. "I thought we could have a little chat while the ladies are busy, Colonel? Unless there's something else you have to do.."

 

Jack glanced momentarily to Sam, taking reassurance in the soft smile she gave him before Janet led her away towards the stairs. "No, there's nothing I have to do. Should we sit down or..?"

 

"Let's take a walk," Jacob suggested, walking ahead of him out of the door and into the bright sunlight. Only when his back was to Jack did he allow himself to smile. They needed to have a serious talk, he knew, but that wasn't going to stop him from having a little bit of fun while they did it.

 

=*=

 

Sam watched from the bedroom window as her father walked two strides ahead of Jack, grinning when Jack had to run a little to keep up.

 

"I take it Jacob knows?" Janet asked from where she stood by the bed, getting everything she needed ready for the examination. "I didn't know you were going to tell him..?"

 

Turning to face her friend, Sam leaned against the windowsill, a content smile on her face even though her eyes were shadowed by sadness. "We decided it was for the best. Jack's going to play a big part in raising the baby so.. It'll be easier if he doesn't have to fend off questions from Dad while he does it."

 

"Good point." Janet forced herself to smile brightly, firmly pushing the thought that Sam might not be there to raise her own child out of her mind. "Okay, if you'd lie down for me.. We'll see if everything's in order for the baby to make its grand entrance."

 

Sam did as she was told and focused on the ceiling. "How much longer do you think I have?" She asked after twenty minutes of silence, her eyes closing as the ceiling became blurred.

 

Janet was silent for a few moments, knowing the question was more than just a mother wanting to know how much longer she'd have to wait before she could hold her baby. It was her best friend asking how much longer she had before the Goa'uld inside her took control once again. "Well, the baby’s head is about 3/5th into your pelvis now, so it’s in a good position.  You’re what we call term now, as you’re passed 37 weeks, so really it could be anytime. It's your first pregnancy, though, Sam, so there is a chance it might be another four or five weeks. I'll come back in a fortnight and should be able to give you a more definite date then."

 

"But I haven't got long." She didn't expect an answer so she wasn't disappointed when all her friend did was sigh softly. "I knew it would get to this stage eventually, I just didn't expect it to get here so soon. I don't know if I'm ready, Janet. To give birth, to give up.."

 

"You're not giving up." Moving from the end of the bed, Janet sat beside her friend and stared at her intently, willing her to open her eyes. "Even when the Goa'uld comes back, you can't give up. You've got to keep fighting, Sam. We're going to come after you and find you and bring you home again. You just have to keep fighting until we do."

 

"I don't know if I can," Sam admitted quietly, opening her eyes so Janet could see the glimmer of tears in them. "I don't know how long I can keep fighting if she makes me go back to that place. I can't do it, Janet."

 

"You did it for four months, you managed to come back after that.." Janet swallowed the lump in her own throat and gazed intently – imploringly – at her friend. "You can do it again, Sam. *Please*. You know the guys won't rest till they bring you home again. Four months might be all it takes, maybe less.."

 

Sam focused on her friend's face, managing a tight smile when Janet reached out to touch her arm. "I might be able to hold on for four months but I doubt I can do it for any longer than that."

 

"You won't have to," Janet vowed, hoping against hope she wasn't making a promise SG-1 couldn't keep. "I really hope you won't have to."

 

"So.." Sniffing, doing her best not to cry, Sam kept the smile on her face. "What's been going on at home? How's Cassandra?"

 

Relived the conversation was on easier ground, Janet got herself comfortable and lay down on the bed beside her friend. "Well, she has a new boyfriend," she started, "and for once, I approve. He's her age, loves art as much as Cassie does and he lives just a few blocks away so it's not too far for her to go.."

 

=*=

 

"Sam told me about your relationship," Jacob stated when the colonel caught up with him, resisting the urge to chuckle when Jack lost his balance and stumbled, almost falling flat on his face in the dirt. "You can relax, son, I'm not going to tell you how stupid you are for breaking the regs and I'm not going to go over how dangerous this relationship could be to both of your careers. I'm sure you and Sam have gone over it enough in your own heads and she assured me you talked about it before anything happened. Besides, she's happy and by God, she deserves it after everything she's been through."

 

Jack nodded, rapidly regaining his composure as he relaxed at the older man's words. "She does. She deserves it more than anyone.."

 

"You deserve it, too, Jack." Jacob threw the man a sidelong glance, staring long enough to see the surprise that flickered in Jack's eyes. "I won't pretend I know everything you've gone through but I know a soldier who's been through the wringer more than once when I see him. And I heard about your son.. You deserve to be happy, too. I just wish.." He sighed then, the good humour leaving his eyes and his tone. "I just wish the circumstances could've been better. Ideally, you wouldn't be risking your careers but I'd have settled for not having my daughter be a Goa'uld at this point in time."

 

"She won't be a Goa'uld forever," Jack inserted confidently, his gaze fixed ahead of them. "Now we know who the snake is and where she'll be, we'll be able to find her and bring her home. If Anubis doesn't come for her straight away, there's a chance.."

 

"He'll come," Jacob cut in heavily. "That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. A Tok'ra operative confirmed what Sam said about him using Asgard technology. I wouldn't be surprised if he was some nearby right now, keeping an eye on her. Making sure he can transport her aboard his ship the moment the Goa'uld takes over again."

 

Beside him, Jack tensed and his pace slowed. "So he takes her." He shrugged through the casual gesture took more effort than usual. "We'll just have to take her back."

 

"We will." They walked on in silence for several minutes, both men trying to persuade themselves it was as simple as stating it aloud. "George tells me Sam's decided the baby will be taken back to Earth. He said she's asked Doctor Fraiser to take over as mother.."

 

"There's been a slight change of plan with that idea," Jack murmured, lowering his gaze to the ground. "I might as well tell you now, Jacob. I fully intend to be the father to this baby whether or not it's mine. I'll be raising it with help from Fraiser and the guys until Sam comes home and then we'll raise it together."

 

Jacob stopped walking and stared at him for several long moments. Then he nodded and resumed moving, his voice gruff when he spoke. "I'm glad to hear it, Colonel. I feel a little better knowing my grandchild will be taken care of, at least until we can reunite it with its mother. It does, however, create another problem."

 

He didn't need to ask what it was; it was one that had been playing on his mind since he'd decided to take over the parenting role of the baby. "I haven't figured out what to tell General Hammond yet. I'll have to tell him something since.. Well, I won't be staying on as SG-1's CO. I won't be a part-time father to this baby. I made that mistake with Charlie and I won't do it again."

 

"I suspected something like that." Jacob nodded again and the two came to a gradual stop. "Does Sam know you intend to leave SG-1?"

 

"We talked about it. She.. She said it was up to me but said that if – when – she comes back, she doesn't know if she'll want to stay on a field unit." He shrugged and faced Jacob, meeting his gaze evenly. "I don't think she was happy about me leaving SG-1 but she knows there are more important things now than our jobs. And she knows there are ways we can help fight against the Goa'uld without being on the frontline all the time."

 

"Is that what you're going to tell George?"

 

Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked at the dirt on the ground. "I'm going to have to tell him there's a chance the baby's mine, especially when Fraiser runs her tests to find out if it is or not. I'll tell him I made a promise to Sam and that I don't want to miss out on the chance at being a father again. Apart from looking for Sam and getting her back, I don't want to go on any other missions. I'll be happy to help out occasionally, maybe even take the desk job he's been hinting I should accept but I won't put myself in danger anymore. Not when I've got someone depending on me."

 

"You're a good man, Jack." Jacob squared his shoulders and held out his hand, talking past the lump in his throat. His fingers tightened against the colonel's when Jack gripped his hand. "Promise me you'll take care of Sam while she's still here, and that you'll look after my grandkid so I can come and visit."

 

"I promise." The two men shook hands and then Jacob surprised Jack by embracing him briefly, clapping him on the back.

 

Moving away, Jacob started walking in the direction they'd come from, wiping surreptitiously at his face as he did so. "We better be going back," he called out over his shoulder. "Sam might start worrying I've gone back on my promise not to hurt you."

 

Aware of how much the conversation had cost Jacob, Jack was silent as they walked back towards the village and the house. He was suddenly overcome with an urge to gather Carter into his arms and hold her tight, regardless of who was there to see. After all, the pessimist in him said tauntingly, their time together was rapidly running out.

 

=*=

 

That evening, Sam convinced her father to stay after their meal was over, saying she needed him for something important. When they were all settled, Sam looked at each of the expectant faces in turn, a lump rising in her throat at the sight of them all. Her friends, her family.. People she might never see again.

 

"The reason I asked you to say is because I need your help, Dad. *We* need your help," she corrected, taking in the grin on her lovers face. "There's not long to go before the little one gets here and there's something important we haven't done yet." At their blank expressions, she smiled again. "We don't have a name. Now I know we don't know if it's a boy or a girl so we'll need to choose both and I'd really like it if you guys would help us come up with something. That way I'll know what you guys are going to be calling it when it's born."

 

Touched that they'd been asked to help, her friends and her father were silent for a few moments. Then the fun began. Scattered around the small room, they all thought hard to come up with something good.

 

"Aaron."

 

"Alan."

 

"Adrian."

 

Sam reviews the names in her head, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Aaron, maybe. Alan, maybe. Adrian, no way. I knew an Adrian in school. There's not a chance in hell I'm letting you call my son that."

 

"Barnaby?"

 

"No." Jack shook his head vehemently and tightened his arm around Sam's shoulders when she turned her head to look at him in amusement. "I had riding lessons on a horse called Barnaby when I was a kid," he explained."

 

"Ben. Benjamin Carter." Jacob suggested. "It was one of the names your mother and I considered for Mark."

 

"Ben Carter," Sam mused. "Ben O'Neill," she added, meeting Jack's surprised gaze with a shy smile. "It has a nice ring to it."

 

"Kristian."

 

"No," Janet shook her head at Teal'c's suggestion. "I dated a Kristian once. Bad name."

 

"Chris? Christopher?"

 

"Chris Carter doesn't go. Christopher O'Neill.. It just doesn't sound right. Sorry."

 

Daniel grinned at her. "It's your baby, we're just making suggestions. Are there any names you like, Sam? Or you, Jack? At least then we'd have somewhere to start."

 

"I used to love the name Dennis when I was kid," Sam answered slowly with a slight blush. "But it's a little old fashioned, I think. I don't know what kind of names I want but I'll know the right one when I hear it. I have to say Benjamin's my favourite at the moment."

 

Jack tilted his head to the side thoughtfully, smiling when she laced her fingers with his. "I always liked the name Dylan. And Kieran."

 

"Since we're having a hard time choosing a boy's name, why don't we list some girls names, too?" Jacob suggested. "Then we can narrow it down to your favourites for both."

 

"Emily."

 

"Rose."

 

"Elizabeth."

 

"Susan."

 

"Lily. Lillian."

 

"Ruth."

 

"Marie."

 

"Andrew."

 

"Liam."

 

"James."

 

"Karen."

 

"Hayley."

 

"Ian."

 

"Jason."

 

"Laura."

 

"Richard."

 

"Gemma."

 

"Tamin."

 

"Ryan."

 

"Angela."

 

Teal'c looked up, his gaze locking with Sam's. "Was your mother's name not Megan, Samantha Carter? Perhaps you could honour her by naming your child Megan if it is a female?"

 

Both Sam and Jacob fell silent. They looked at Teal'c and then looked at each other with tears in their eyes. "Megan Carter," Sam murmured.

 

"Megan O'Neill," Jacob mused aloud, winking when Daniel, Janet and Jack looked at him in surprise. "It's a nice name."

 

"It's a very nice name," Jack agreed in a voice that wasn't completely steady. He glanced at Sam in concern when she didn't say anything else. "What do you think, Carter?"

 

She smiled up at him, her eyes bright but not as bright as the smile on her lips. "Megan Rose O'Neill," she repeated. "I think we've found our girls name. Now for the boys.."

 

"Benjamin was the one you both liked," Janet reminded them. "Benjamin and Kieran."

 

Jack nodded slowly, a grin spreading across his face. "Benjamin Jacob Carter. Benjamin Jacob O'Neill."

 

Her smile grew bigger as Sam took in her father's reaction to his name being used in their decision. His eyes were shimmering again and he looked away after making brief eye contact and managing a small smile before he broke away. "That sounds perfect," she decided after a few minutes deliberation. "So it's Benjamin Jacob or Megan Rose."

 

Their friends congratulated them but Sam noticed her father didn't say anything. He didn't even look at her. Twenty minutes later, he got to his feet and the reason for his distance became clear.

 

"Sammie, I hate to break up the party but I've got to get back. Selmac and I have a mission in a few days time and we need to prepare for it." Jacob gave her a sad smile and stood in front of her friends awkwardly.

 

"You're not coming back, are you?" Sam asked quietly, standing with some help from Jack. "You won't make it back before the baby's due..?"

 

"I'm sorry, honey, I don't think I will." He reached out for her and drew her into his arms, hugging her as tightly as he dared. "I wish I could stay," he murmured into her hair, closing his eyes against the threat of tears. "I don't want to leave you, Sam."

 

"But you have to." Sam pulled back slightly and stared at him, memorising everything about him and sensing him do the same to her. The laughter and the camaraderie had died as they were all once again reminded of the situation they were in. Sam and Jacob knew with sinking hearts that there was a chance they'd never see each other again or if they did it could be on opposite sides of the war they were committed to fighting. "I love you, Daddy," she mumbled, not trusting her voice to hold if she spoke any louder. "No matter what happens, I love you."

 

"I love you, too, Sammie. I love you so much." A single droplet leaked from his eye and ran down his cheek but Jacob made no attempt to wipe it away. "I'm so proud of you, honey. I've always been proud of you."

 

Sam reached up and caught the tear before it could fall any further. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his cheek, the salt she tasted a bitter reminder of their forthcoming parting. "Don't say goodbye," she whispered brokenly. "Please don't say goodbye."

 

"Never." Wrapping his arms around her again, Jacob held onto his daughter until Selmac reminded him gently that they had to go. "I'll see you soon, Sam," he told her huskily when he forced himself to move away, his arms dropping to his sides. "Take care of yourself and be happy."

 

She could only nod as he turned away and walked towards the door. By silent agreement, Daniel and Teal'c got up to walk Jacob back to the Stargate. Jack pulled Sam against him, holding her as she broke down in silent sobs, grateful when she fell asleep against him two hours later with the aid of the sleeping pill Janet convinced her to take.

 

It was the first goodbye but it wouldn't be the last, and knowing that ensured nobody got a decent night's sleep that night. Their minds were too focused on the day not so far ahead when it would be their turn to say goodbye.

 

=*=

/part eight

=*=

 

That day came sooner than any of them would have liked. Two weeks to the day, Janet stepped through the Stargate and immediately knew there was something wrong. There was no one there to greet her for starters and the clouds hanging low in the sky were an ominous dark grey.

 

"Doctor Fraiser, come quick!" Laira rushed up to her, running quicker than a woman who'd just discovered she was pregnant should. Her eyes were wide, her cheeks were flushed and she was obviously scared. "Major Carter's child is coming! You have to hurry, something is wrong!"

 

The two women raced along the dirt path as fast as they could. Janet knew with a sinking heart just what was wrong as they made it to the house; a dark mass broke through the clouds, casting an ominous shadow over the village.

 

Anubis was back and he'd come for his queen.

 

Daniel, Teal'c and Jack were in the bedroom with Sam when she arrived, the latter of whom was pacing and snapping irritably at anyone who went near her. Janet felt sadness for a moment, knowing when it was over her friend would be gone but pushed those feelings aside so the doctor in her could break through.

 

"Right, guys, listen up. Doctor Jackson, go get me some clean blankets or sheets. Teal'c, go get some warm water and see if you can find anything resembling ice chips. Sam, I want you to lie down so I can see how dilated you are." Doctor Fraiser called out orders left, right and centre and the two men she'd given them to moved faster than she'd ever seen them go to do her bidding. Sam followed her orders a little more slowly, grumbling as she did so. "Colonel, if you'd like to hold Sam's hand and keep track of the contractions, that'd be great."

 

Jack moved into position, ignoring the glare he got from Sam for his troubles. He took her hand and squeezed her unresponsive fingers. "Her waters broke about half an hour ago and the contractions are coming every five minutes."

 

"Every five minutes?" Janet asked from where she set to work at the bottom of the bed. When she was finished checking Sam over, she stood up and peeled the latex gloves from her hands. "You're already eight centimetres dilated, Sam. Looks like this baby's eager to be born."

 

"It's going too quickly," Sam gasped as another contraction struck her, digging her fingernails into Jack's hand. "Something's wrong, isn't it? Janet? Is it the Goa'uld?"

 

Janet hesitated, remembering the ship keeping the village in relative darkness. She wondered briefly if Sam had noticed or if the fear of giving birth had distracted her then answered her own question. Of course she'd noticed; they all had The occupants of the house had noticed it was dark and had lit lamps to compensate for it but they'd all been too distracted by other, more important matters to stop and look out of the window. "There's a ship, Sam," Janet answered finally, keeping her voice as calm as she could manage. "It could be the presence of the Goa'uld out there and the one inside of you that's making your labour progress quicker than normal."

 

"Daniel and Sha're's labour was prompted by the Goa'uld showing up," Sam murmured, sitting up slightly and clutching Jack's hand for all she was worth. "I don't want to do this, I don't want him to come back and I don't want him to take me.."

 

Anything he said would have been a lie so Jack wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her damp forehead. "It'll be okay," he whispered softly. "You have to believe it's going to be okay."

 

"But I can't," she admitted tearfully. "I'm scared, Jack."

 

"We all are," he replied honestly, "but it's going to be okay. Believe me. It has to be." His throat tightened even as he said it.

 

Janet watched him move in to kiss Sam softy and felt her own throat constrict. This was it. The end of their time with Sam, the end of her friend's freedom. The end of Sam's newly-found and shortly-lived happiness in her new relationship..

 

Another contraction hit her and Jack moved his arm so he could massage the small of her back. He murmured soothing words of encouragement as Janet sat on the edge of the bed, the two of them coaching her through the worst of it.

 

"Jack, Sam," Daniel raced up the stairs and burst into the room, Teal'c not far behind him. "There's a ship," he gasped, slightly out of breath from his mad dash around the house. "Anubis is here!"

 

"We know," Jack nodded in acknowledgement but his concentration was focused mainly on the woman in his arms. "Did you get what Doc asked for?"

 

"Um, yeah." Daniel and Teal'c carried their loads over to the small table in the corner of the room and Janet walked over to them to examine what they'd found.

 

Leaning heavily against the colonel, Sam closed her eyes briefly, steeling herself for what was to come before turning her face towards him, her eyelids fluttering open. "Jack," she murmured hoarsely, bringing his wandering thoughts back to the present. "Promise me something."

 

"I promise I'll look after the baby," he responded immediately, bringing one of her hands to his lips and kissing her knuckles. "I promise I'll find you."

 

She smiled softly but shook her head. "I know.. It's not that." She continued quickly at the confusion in his eyes. "Promise me you'll talk to Daniel and Teal'c when this is all over. Don't shut them out. They know what it's like to lose someone to the Goa'uld and Daniel's been through this with Sha're.. Please don't try to handle it on your own because you really don't have to."

 

He nodded wordless, the lump in his throat preventing him from speaking. He moved a hand to her cheek to catch the tear she didn't know had fallen from her eye and pressed his lips against hers in another, slightly lingering kiss. He drew back momentarily, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you, Carter."

 

She gave him a watery smile, wondering in a small part of her mind if he realised how often her surname slipped passed his lips. "I love you, too, Sir." The cheeky smile that accompanied the words faded and her grip on his arm tightened. "Jack."

 

"Breathe through it," he encouraged, massaging her back once again. "Just breathe, Sam. It'll all be over soon."

 

And that, he thought grimly, was the problem.

 

=*=

 

He held onto her when Janet announced it was time. Jack sat behind her, bracing himself and her for the moment the baby was born. What should have been one of the happiest days of his life was also one of the worst. Sam turned her head and looked at him, mouthing the words 'I love you' before closing her eyes and pushing for all she was worth.

 

The baby slid silently into the doctors awaiting arms and Janet quickly dealt with the umbilical cord before whisking it away.

 

The room was silent with the exception of Sam's heavy breathing.

 

Jack felt her shudder in his arms and didn't need to see the expression on her face or the horror on his friend's faces to know the Goa'uld was back.

 

"Where is my child?" Theia demanded, barely reacting when Jack moved from behind her and stood to the side. Her attention was solely focused on Janet, who was huddled over the infant at the table. "What have you done to it?"

 

"I've done nothing," Janet snapped impatiently, staring down at the baby as she massaged its chest, willing it to breathe. "I'm trying to save it." She pleaded with whatever force was out there to help her save the baby's life, knowing it would be one blow too many if they lost the child as well as its mother.

 

"I want to see it," Theia demanded. She locked eyes with the Colonel, seeing the disgust and the pain he tried to conceal from her. "Bring it to me," she ordered. "My child needs its mother."

 

"You're not its mother," Jack managed between ground teeth, telling himself over and over again that the woman staring at him was not the woman he loved but the enemy that had caused them so much pain. "The baby isn't yours," he repeated, his voice getting stronger. "And you're not taking it with you."

 

Theia snarled at him but said nothing else, her attention once again caught by the doctor working to save the life of her child. Her heart beat faster at the thought of never getting to hold it but she told herself that the pain she felt at the thought were her hosts feelings on the matter, not hers.

 

Before anyone else could speak, another presence filled the room. Anubis, in his holographic form. The Goa'uld's eyes swept over the others in a cool manner but it seemed he only had eyes for Theia.

 

"It is time for you to return home, my Queen," Anubis greeted her, his gravely voice sending shivers down Janet's spine as she tried to ignore everything else that was going on. "Where is the child?"

 

Theia lowered her gaze, waiting for the joy she'd expected to feel on seeing him again come. "My Lord Anubis, I have waited for you to return for us." She looked up at him then, hoping the look in her eye was imploring rather than fearful. "I regret that the child is still born, my Lord. I did my best but my host was determined to prevent us from taking the child."

 

Anubis stared at her for several long seconds. "You cannot blame yourself, Theia, nor can we dwell on this failure. " There was a smug smile in his voice when he spoke, Jack was sure of it. "There will be other opportunities and other children." He held out his hand and Theia rose to take it. "Come. Let us leave this place. I have much to tell you."

 

The moment their hands touched, the room was filled with a bright light and in the blink of an eye, Theia and Anubis were gone.

 

Several seconds after that, the baby wailed to life. Janet didn't know she was crying until a tear fell on the baby she started to wrap up in a clean sheet. Wiping her face, she took the baby in her arms and turned to find the three men staring at where Sam had been not minutes before.

 

"Colonel," she called out softly, walking towards him carefully as she clutched the child to her chest. She smiled tremulously when he looked at her with unfocused eyes. "Congratulation," she told him quietly, holding that baby out to him. "You have a beautiful baby girl."

 

Unable to speak, Jack moved his mouth soundlessly and took the squalling baby from her. Completely lost for words, he stared down at his daughter as he held her for the first time, barely noticing when her crying settled to the occasional whimper.

 

Sam was gone, he thought numbly, and he was left holding the baby.

 

=*=

 

It felt like years since Sam had gone but in reality it was only weeks. The child in his arms was testament to that.

 

Jack stood by the lake, cradling Megan in his arms, staring down at her face as she slept. He knew it was too early to tell for sure but he thought he could see Sam in her face. He hoped he could, he needed something to hold onto now she was gone.

 

The message had been sent through to Jacob that he had a granddaughter – and that his daughter was once again prisoner to the Goa'uld. Telling himself their chances of finding her had improved now they knew they were looking for the Goa'uld Theia was all he could do.

 

It was all any of them could do.

 

Teal'c and Daniel had left for Earth a week ago but Jack had remained on Edora with Megan and had decided to stay there until Doctor Fraiser announced she thought it was safe for a child so young to travel through the Stargate.

 

He held her like she was his lifeline because that was how it felt. He remembered what it felt to hold Charlie for the first time and compared it with holding Megan, realising that his feelings were intensified by knowing the little girl was the only link he had left to Sam, the only thing connecting them.

 

She was light years away, a slave in effect to Theia – and to Anubis. He did his best not to think about the other Goa'uld, telling himself she'd fight and try to make it easier for them to rescue her.

 

His hopes died a month later when their searches resulted in nothing but as he stood by the lake that day, they were still going strong in his head and in his heart.

 

"I promise, Megan," he whispered to the sleeping child. "I'll find your mother one day. We'll be together again, I promise."

 

"Colonel?" Her voice didn't take him by surprise. Janet had been visiting every couple of days – to check on him as much as the baby he was sure. He didn't jump at the sound of her voice and he didn't turn to face her or look in her direction. The little girl in his arms was the sole object of his attention. "I came to tell you it's safe for you to bring Megan home. She should be strong enough to make the trip through the Stargate and I've got a team waiting in the gateroom in case anything does go wrong."

 

Janet stared at his back for a few seconds, waiting for a response.

 

None came.

 

Sighing softly, she took a few steps closer and tentatively reached out to touch his arm. "General Hammond wants to talk to you as well. He's waiting for you to come home." Still no response. "He has a few questions for you. About Megan's paternity."

 

That got his attention.

 

Jack blinked to focus his eyes on something other than Megan and stared at her with an eyebrow raised. "Paternity? You did the tests?"

 

"Yes," Janet smiled slightly, her heart feeling a little lighter at the look on his face. The hope. "Congratulations, Sir. Megan is your daughter in every sense of the word." The smile slipped a little and she shrugged. "That's what General Hammond wants to talk to you about. Do you know what you're going to tell him?"

 

Jack's gaze wandered back to his daughter. Sam's daughter. The daughter they'd made together during their first night. A shadow of a grin played about on his lips. "Sam would be happy," he murmured softly. "It's what she wanted."

 

"Yes, it is." Her concern rising again, Janet exerted a little more pressure on his arm, trying to ease him into walking with her. "We have to go back, Sir. General Hammond will get concerned if we don't go back soon.."

 

"He can wait," Jack muttered, beguiled by the infant in his arms. His daughter. His biological daughter. The thought was enough to make the slowly spreading grin on his face last for more than just a few minutes.

 

Sam would be pleased, he thought to himself, staring down at Megan as she stirred and opened her eyes, blinking sleepily up at him. When she got home, he told himself, she'd be over the moon.

 

Their baby was theirs, for real. They didn't have to worry about the baby being a harcesis; they didn't have to worry too much about the NID coming to take it away.. At least he could put Sam's mind to rest about that, when they found her he could assure her Megan would be safe.

 

So would she.

 

He'd protect them with all that he had, even his life.

 

Jack was silent as Janet slowly encouraged him to start walking towards the Stargate. He stumbled twice but kept hold of the baby, staring down at her as she gazed back up at him with the bluest eyes he'd ever seen. He cuddled her to his chest and looked up when they reached the stone circle, seeing for the first time the worry in Janet's eyes.

 

"I'm okay, Doc," he told her softly, a grin accompanying the words. "It's going to be okay." He looked ahead at the Stargate, ignoring the pang in his heart when he realised the last time he'd gone through it, he'd had Sam at his side. "Come on, Megan," he murmured to his daughter. "It's time to go home and start looking for your Mom."

 

With one hand, he dialled Earth's address on the DHD, refusing to let Janet take his daughter from him for even a second.

 

The Stargate came to life and Janet heaved a sigh of relief. She watched the Colonel carefully as he walked towards the event horizon, cradling Megan to him as though she were the most precious, most fragile thing in the world.

 

To him she was, Janet supposed as she followed at a slightly slower pace, pausing just before following him through to the other side to cast her gaze over the planet that had become his home.

 

The home he'd shared with Sam.

 

"I'll make sure they're okay, Sam," she promised aloud to her friend, hoping one day they'd see each other again. "I'll make sure they're okay for when you get home."

 

Stepping through the Stargate with hope in her heart, Janet was pleased to find both father and daughter had made the journey safely. She busied herself with making sure they were okay, pushing the doubt creeping into her mind away.

 

They *would* find Sam someday.

 

They had to, for Megan's sake. She needed her mother, and her mother needed to know she was alive.

 

=*=

/part nine

=*=

End of 'Out of the Ashes'.

 

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